Jelly Beans & Corduroy

The Dawn of a New Era

2009-01-20T14:50:00.002-05:00

I have nothing particularly profound to say about today. However, I was completely moved by President Obama's speech, loved Michelle's dress, thought the girls (SASHA!!! and MALIA!!!! as Rick Warren said....douche) were completely adorable, especially Sasha with her purple camera, and loved the benediction. I felt for C.J. John Roberts (and for Obama) for the whole Oath trip-up, but it was nice to see that both men are...well, just that...men. Human.

Hmmm....I think I am going to listen to the Inaugural Speech again :) God bless the Interwebs.

It's been too long.

2008-12-29T09:27:00.003-05:00

Hello to my reader. ;)

I realized that it had been too long since I last posted here. I have found that Facebook provides much the same outlet that this blog used to provide for me. Even so, I do not wish to neglect my little piece of the Interwebs...

That being said, let me catch you up on my world. ......... Yeah, not much to catch up on, I am afraid. Life moves on, day after day. Mr. P. and I are still the same, with the house and the Bela. Work is work. Though work has been a little more work than I would have liked, honestly. I am trying to get a serious amount of billable hours squeezed into a short month. 228 to be exact.....I have about 13 to go....I think I will make it. But I am pretty burned out, and am looking forward to taking some sort of vacation in the coming months.

What else? I am happy to say that I have made some amazing new friends, and through the wonders of Facebook, have reconnected with old friends. I spent last Friday night drinking margaritas and catching up on the interesting and envy-inducing lives of some of my all-time favorite people. I also spent some quality time with the woman I call "Gran," one of the two amazing women that made me who I am today. I don't know how much time I will have left with her, so I am trying to make certain that I don't regret not saying or doing anything to let her know of her absolute importance to my world.

Hmmm...on a lighter note - my brother and his wife have brought home a new addition to the family. His name is Macaroni, and he is one kick-ass pooch. He is giving Bela a run for her money with regard to the awesomeness factor...but I think Bela still wins out.

And on a silly note - I have been completely sucked into this whole Twilight thing. I read the first one, and ehh...I wasn't that impressed. But then I read the second book, and now I am hooked. I even saw the movie. I wasted 10 bucks...but boy, everyone was really pretty :)

That's about it from here. I am looking forward to what life will bring in '09...hopefully, a little Jax or Maya....we continue to cross our fingers.

Hope everyone has had a great 2008....

Yes, we can!

2008-11-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

And yes, we did.

Awesome.

A big bunch of randomness.

2008-11-04T09:13:00.004-05:00

Y'all, I know. It's been awhile. Honestly, there hasn't been much to say. Work, home, work, home, work, home. You guys know how it is.

I've read some good books - Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley, Dark Lady by Richard North Patterson, and I am currently reading The Brass Verdict by Michael Connelly (could be the best one yet). I've watched some good TV - finished out Mad Men for the season - completely excellent, fell in love with Damian Lewis in Life once again, and found great television on FX with Sons of Anarchy. I re-acquainted myself with Jon Stewart's brilliance and began DV-R'ing The Daily Show....this election cycle has certainly provided him some great fodder.

And speaking of - I have completely immersed myself in this election. I know this isn't an original statement, but I don't think I have ever cared so much about the outcome of an election. It has been a fascinating 21 months, that is for sure. I don't know what I am going to do with myself once the election is over - what will I watch in the morning? What will I read on the Internet? What did I do before this election?

I have made some good friends in the last few months that have solidified my feeling that I think I want to stick around for awhile. The Fort is a good place to be....and is better when you have smart, funny, compassionate people around you.

We are steps closer to having a kiddo in our arms. We transferred our adoption from China to South Korea, and hope to travel to get that little guy or girl by the end of 2009. We have names picked out for either option (Jackson or Maya), and look forward to the day when we can start buying clothes and decorating the nursery.

So, there you go. That's what I have been up to recently. How 'bout you?

Oh yeah - DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!!

I'm fired up...and ready to go!

Happiness is....

2008-09-18T15:06:00.004-04:00

a new Kate Spade bag (just like this one, only with black patent leather straps).

Uncontrollable Reaction

2008-09-08T10:40:00.003-04:00

Every time I hear the words "Sarah Palin," I roll my eyes. I can't help myself. My head is really starting to hurt.

Time Suck.

2008-08-26T11:26:00.002-04:00

I have come to this realization:

Facebook is seriously the most addictive thing ever. It is insane. I went from signing up for the damn thing to having 25 friends and 8 pieces of flair in a 1/2 day's time. I also caught up w/one of my best friends from high school, who I hadn't talked to in 15 years or so. Ker-azy.

I blame Wendy.

And I love flair. I am a flair-whore. Seriously. Those of you that aren't on FB have no idea of it's awesomeness.

So...there you go. That's what I have been doing w/my extra time. How 'bout you?

Don Draper's back!

2008-07-28T15:58:00.004-04:00

Enough. Enough doom and gloom and death. There's reason to cheer.

Mad Men, my favorite show (and the Emmy nominating committee's, too, apparently - 15 noms for this AMC series!), is back on the air for Season 2! The first ep aired last night and all I can say is, "Thank God and all that is holy." Not only have things been grim around these parts, "grim" is the only word I can come up with to describe summer TV. Even My Boys (on TBS), great last year, only inspires an "ehhh" from me this year.

So, Don Draper, Betty Draper, Pete Campbell, Roger Sterling, and lovely, lovely Joan Holloway....I am counting on you to pull me out of my summer doldrums. So far, so good!!!!

(And for those of you that have yet to drink the Kool-Aid? What are you waiting for? Check out Season 1 on DVD, or on On-Demand for all of Mad Men's brilliance and maturity and gorgeousness. I promise you won't regret it!!!)

Well said.

2008-07-16T14:50:00.001-04:00

Like Robin was saying - big kudos to Elizabeth Edwards on this one.

Tim Russert

2008-06-22T14:54:00.003-04:00

Okay, guys...I have been on vacation, and w/o access to email, and I know this is no longer "news" of a timely nature as it happened last Friday, but I was completely crushed by the news of Tim Russert's death. I mean, only a few weeks ago I posted that I absolutely loved Tim Russert (and Chuck Todd). He was the person I listened to, and looked to for quality political journalism. I watched him every morning on the Today show and Morning Joe, and then caught the Tim Russert Show on Saturday on MSNBC, and, of course, Meet the Press, on Sunday (yes, I'm a nerd). I kind of thought of him as a friend, you know.

Which is why it came as such a shock: As Mr. P. and I made the drive down to Gulf Shores, AL on Friday, we listened to NPR, while I read the Scott McClellan book...I heard the words "Russert...collapsed...died" and thought that they must have been talking about Big Russ, Tim's father. I couldn't believe it. I immediately sent BFF Amanda a text expressing my complete disbelief....then, coincidentally, I received a text from my brother: "Tim Russert, dead @ 58. So f'ing sad." He decided we needed to have a drink in his honor. Yep. My brother was just as crushed as I was. I spent all Friday night watching Keith Olbermann interview Russert's friends and colleagues (poor guy kept it together as best he could) and spent a full evening this week watching the replay of his memorial with my mom, and I weeped all the way through it.

It just seems unfair, you know?

The big question: Who can possibly fill Tim Russert's large, comfortable shoes????

Drew Carey Was Right.

2008-06-10T13:17:00.002-04:00

I never thought I would ever write those four words in the same sentence.

But he is. Cleveland does indeed rock. At least the five square blocks of Cleveland that Mr. P. and I explored this weekend in celebration of our 10 years of wedded bliss. We stayed at a lovely hotel (on the 25th floor), with a full view of the Cleveland Browns stadium and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame....thank you, I.M. Pei, for the gorgeous view.

We spent a glorious 6 hours in the aforementioned Hall of Fame, where I had my nerdy fill of all things Sun Records and Motown and Queen and Alan Freed and Woodstock and Clapton and M.J. and Jimi and Janis and, my personal favorite, an entire floor dedicated to the Doors...including Jim Morrison's report cards. How great is that?! I like my dead rock stars to excel in Geography.

Next stop: the House of Blues, where we had 2 tickets to see my favorite Insomniac, Dave Attell. Had a little dinner....had a few (read: five) margaritas, and laughed my ass off at one of the all-time funniest living comedians ever. Seriously funny as hell. Almost peed myself.

Of course, that could have been the margaritas.

Funniest. Recap. Ever.

2008-05-15T09:05:00.004-04:00

Y'all, I am not watching American Idol this season, but have managed to keep up with the drama through Today show coverage as well as Television without Pity - one of my all-time favorite time-wasting websites. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that it is down to the two Davids: Cook (rocker guy!) and Archuleta (fetus!), respectively. I decided to start my day on a high note: while enjoying my banana/Special K bar breakfast, I read up on the latest recap (written by the brilliant Jacob) of this week's American Idol drama........and then I choked on my banana and Special K bar. The cause? This paragraph right here, discussing D.Arch. and his butchering of a Chris Brown song:

This is ridiculous! Why won't it end? I did not pay zero dollars to have David Effing Archuleta call me his "boo." He can't even ride the tall rides and he's calling me his boo? His boo is, like, the Cabbage Patch Kid he sleeps with. He calls each silver dollar pancake his boo before he eats it in front of cartoons on Saturday morning. "C'mere, boo. I gotta tell you something. You are delicious, little momma." You know who I miss? A-Fed. He was sort of my boo. He's probably about 30-years-old by now. I picture him raising chickens, on a farm. He drinks late at night on the porch and listens to coyotes. He is nobody's boo. His only boo is the sea, and a ship to sail her by. When he pretended to not be a tiny weak little child, you believed he was not, at least for the duration of the song. This crap is like Tom Cruise in the Outsiders trying to front.

Effing. Awesome.

I am going to go and clean the banana from my keyboard now.

Chuckie T!

2008-05-06T20:09:00.001-04:00

I am not ashamed:

I have a complete nerd-crush on Chuck Todd and Tim Russert.

Paradise found.

2008-04-23T10:51:00.007-04:00

Remember when I said that my mom and I were planning a getaway cruise? Well, we got-away. And it was amazing. Honestly, I could not have asked for a better time. We really were able to just relax and enjoy each other's company. A recap:

Day 1....mind you this was not day one of the cruise. We met up in Indianapolis the night before our flight. Didn't want to deal w/traffic, delays, etc, considering we were both traveling 2 hours to get to Indy. Memorable moment from that evening? I broke my just-manicured nail. Yep, I am still pissed about it. But we had a little fashion show (Fashion show. Fashion show. Fashion show at lunch.) and filled out some forms, and caught the end of American Idol. I watched 1/2 of one episode and decided I wanted to punch Kristy Lee Cook right in the neck for choosing a cheesy, pandering song like "Proud to be an American." Stupid girl.

Day 2....flight to Ft Lauderdale....easy flight, no issues whatsoever...amazing. We had a wonderful chat on the plane, and realized that we hadn't been able to really talk like that in 10 years....seriously, 10 years. I blame Mr. P. ;) We arrived in Lauderdale, and caught a shuttle to our hotel...where we were staying for a night before getting on the boat the next day. Highlight? Sitting by the pool, having a drink, avoiding the creepy cat walking around the pool deck, and then going on a mile trek to find cigarettes (not for me). We crossed major roads, wandered through a Kmart, and eventually found the gas station that was supposedly "five seconds" away, according to the bartender at the hotel. Duh.

Day 3.....cruise day! We grabbed a shuttle from the hotel to the cruise port without a hitch. The logistics to get 2500 people checked in onto a floating resort is outrageous...and Royal Caribbean does it right. We got on board....had some lunch and went to our room, where I surprised Mom w/our own private balcony. Needless to say, this is where we spent much of our days. We wandered the boat for the remainder of the day, then got dressed for dinner. At dinner, we sat w/this couple from Miami....interesting folks. I can definitely say that Mom and I will never forget Juan! Big guy, big personality, always kept the drinks flowing. Caught the show after dinner - like a big show choir show - and then went back to the room to enjoy our balcony and more wine :)

Days 4 and 5: Phenomenal! We had breakfast on our balcony both days - which was seriously enjoyable. The first day was spent at Cococay, a private island in the Bahamas. We had a great time chilling out at the beach, reading and working on our tans. Seriously, the day could not have been better. Came back, had dinner...it was the formal night...lots of pictures. We then hit the casinos, where I had all sorts of luck (Thank you, Kenny Rogers!) and then went back to the room to enjoy our balcony some more. Seriously, that was the best money I have ever spent. The next day we were in Key West. We took a walking tour of Key "Weird" and went to the Hemingway House. Very interesting...but more creepy cats...these with 5 toes! That Hemingway had himself quite the life, too! We walked Duval Street, went to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Cafe, and shopped for souvenirs. I picked up some "Atocha gold" for Mr. P. at the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum, and then we walked back to the boat.....more sunning, more dinner (on our own....thank goodness!) ...more casino success (Don't be a hater, Mom!) and more balcony time, where we planned our next day's events....with some wine :)

Day 6: The day at sea! Woo hoo! We staked out a couple of deck chairs at about 9:30 am...and then proceeded not to move for the next 5 1/2 hours! Ha! We even ate our lunch in those chairs! I went through another book or two (I read about 5 books on the trip!), and we took in some serious people-watching, as well as the "Belly Flop Contest." We then joined our shipmates in playing TV Tune Trivia...as in, they play 2-3 seconds of a TV theme song, and then you have to write down the answer. And I kicked ASS....I won 2 RCCL hats...woot! Come on, though - A-Team? Soap? Greatest American Hero? And my personal favorite, Facts of Life. How could you not know those?! We also played some bingo...hilarious..........and we lost. Oh well. Still a fun way to pass the time. It was a sad day, though. We had to say our goodbyes to our dinnermates as well as our waiters, Ervin and Joey. We also had to tackle major packing so we could set our suitcases out before we went to bed.

Day 7: Debarkation. Suck. Bummer. Sad. It all went well....and then we got to the airport, where we were told it was too early to check in. We had, like 7 hours before our flight. So, we said screw it. We stored our suitcases, and grabbed a cab to the Ft Lauderdale beachfront....had some lunch at Sloppy Joe's, and then we literally sat under a palm tree for about three hours. It was great. The weather was perfect, and we didn't have to sit in a crappy airport chair for 7 hours! We grabbed a cab back to the airport, caught our flight back to Indy, and when we arrived we found Mr. P. and Tommie B. (aka Dad) waiting for us at the baggage carousel. Awesome. We said our goodbyes, and Mom and Tom went one way and we went the other.

I could not have asked for a better way to spend 7 days.

I love you, Mom.

Oh. My. God.*

2008-04-03T15:37:00.002-04:00

Two things:

#1: New Kids on the Block are coming out with a new album!!! *sigh* Takes me back to junior high: I was such a fan-geek. I had the tour jacket, I had the enormous buttons, I needed help...seriously. Joey, Jonathan, Jordan, Donnie, and Danny....loved 'em all. Okay, notsomuch Danny....but the others, definitely. So, yeah - really excited about that.

More importantly, though...

#2: Barack Obama is coming to the Fort tomorrow morning!!! And I have a ticket!!!! I love that Indiana is FINALLY relevant...very exciting stuff. Bill was here a few weeks ago, Hillary had breakfast at Sara's Restaurant here last weekend, and now Barack. Awesome.

*Could this post have any more exclamation points???!!!!

"All I need is a spray tan and some Spanx..." **

2008-03-13T09:29:00.004-04:00

Thank the Lord in Heaven - I am going on vacation in less than 2 weeks. My mom and I - yep, just the two of us - are going on a 4 night Royal Caribbean cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale, with stops in Key West and the Bahamas. Soooo excited. Luckily, my mom and I really like each other. In fact, I would consider her one of my very best friends. As such, I am looking so forward to just sitting on the beach (or at the pool) w/a stack of books, a fruity girlie drink, and my mom to keep me company. What could be better than that?!!!

**My mantra in preparing for this trip.

Another campus tragedy...

2008-02-15T13:36:00.003-05:00

and this one a little too close to home for me.

As you all are aware, yesterday, a former graduate student opened fire on an auditorium full of geology students at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, west of Chicago, killing five and injuring countless others.

My sister-in-law, Katie, attends NIU.

Katie had just left work and was on her way to campus for class, when the shooting occurred. The footage showing the students being put into ambulances - apparently, that is where she parks for class. She is fine, but is in shock, which is to be expected. Needless to say, my family is a bit shaken by this tragic and terrible event.

Go home and hug your loved ones. You never know what can happen in this crazy world.

Love to all.

Why I Love Chuck Klosterman

2008-02-13T14:44:00.002-05:00

Not only because of the brilliance of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs (that's a book, Mom, not my morning ritual!), but because of this article:

Me, On Shuffle, wherein Klosterman tries to answer this question:

"True or False: The music a person listens to reveals many truths about that person."

When you get a free moment, check it out.

2008-02-06T09:14:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMANDA!!!!!

Thirtysomething...

2008-02-05T07:04:00.000-05:00

Do y'all remember that show thirtysomething with Mel Harris and Ken Olin and Danny from The West Wing, and his wife, the annoying blonde chick, all whiny and dissatisfied with her life? When that show aired, I thought those folks looked OLD......they all had kids running around and one of them had post-partum depression or something and they were balancing careers and families, blah blah blah.............and they were OLD.

And now...I am no longer 30. I am "thirtysomething...." *sigh* Old.

So Sad.

2008-01-23T13:24:00.000-05:00

The news about Heath Ledger really bothers me, for some reason. And the fact that it really bothers me also bothers me. I mean, I wasn't, like, his biggest fan or anything. I thought he was good in "A Knight's Tale," great in "The Patriot," and pretty damn impressive in "Brokeback Mountain." I am looking forward to "The Dark Knight," but didn't know until a few weeks ago that Ledger was playing The Joker. So...why am I so saddened by the news?

I guess it just seems like this is a kid who had it all going for him: a career on the rise, a seemingly supportive network of family and friends, a gorgeous daughter, and plenty of money. Based on what I have read, authorities do not think that he committed suicide, but still.....sad. Very sad.

On a different note -
They say death comes in threes...Suzanne Pleshette, Heath Ledger...and?

Things Into Which I Am Currently.

2007-12-19T09:18:00.000-05:00

Ha! Sometimes being grammatically correct comes off as a Yoda impersonation.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Pomegranate 7-up. Have y'all tried it? It is the best beverage out there....okay, the best non-alcoholic beverage out there. And it is "limited edition," which translates into 20 bottles stored in my pantry.

2. The red-headed awesomeness of Messrs. Hauser and Lewis. That would be Cole Hauser of K*Ville and Damien Lewis of Life, respectively. Yummy. (Since high school, I have had a thing for redheads...I can't explain it.) V. v. yummy.

3. Barenaked for the Holidays by BNL...especially the BNL/Sarah McLachlan duet. Excellent Christmas tune.

4. WoodWick candles. These candles, which I have found at Von Maur and Hallmark, last forever, come in wonderful "flavors" like Cinnamon Chai and Applewood, and have a wood wick (hence the name...duh), so the candle makes this crackling, popping sound...very soothing. I would highly recommend a WoodWick candle for a Secret Santa gift.

5. The quirky novel The Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England by Brock Clarke.

What are y'all into right now???? What makes you happy right now?

**Removed ellipses in title per Kel's comment because she was absolutely right :)

The airing of the grievances.

2007-12-10T10:10:00.000-05:00

Since Festivus is just around the corner, I thought I would air a grievance of my own: the annual firm holiday party. Ours is the same: the same country club, the same conversations with the partners and their spouses, the same choice of chicken, steak, or fish, the same awful deejay with his Kenny G dinner music, and "Baby Got Back" to really get the staff up and dancing (or if that doesn't work, the ubiquitous "Electric Slide"), and the same open bar....which causes the same staffer to make a complete fool of herself.

Ugh.

How to combat this problem? Those of you that have annual holiday parties...what do you do? Are your parties similar to the one I described above, or do you do something inventive and fun? Anything has got to be better than choking down a hockey puck shaped cheesecake while listening to the deejay spin "Old Time Rock & Roll," and the partner's wife rattling on about how busy she is, what with baby Jasper (or Caleigh, or Jaden, or whatever name is now trendy) and the personal training sessions, and the weekly spa appointments.

Bring on the suggestions.

sigh

2007-11-29T14:50:00.000-05:00

It's 2:50 p.m., and I am enjoying a lunch of taco Doritos and 2 mini Snicker bars.

Yep. It's been one of those days.

Fave new blog, y'all!

2007-11-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

Mindy Kaling - who plays "Kelly" on The Office (who, btw, is my husband's TV girlfriend) - writes a blog called "Things I've Bought That I Love." Love, love, love it.

Number one, she's high-larious, and (b) I have found some super cute gift and clothing ideas.

Check it out:
http://mindyephron.blogspot.com/

You can thank me later.

Things I am Enjoying this Morning...

2007-10-25T08:34:00.001-04:00

A grande Bold with cream and 2 splenda along with a slice of pumpkin loaf.
"Let Me Touch You For Awhile" by Alison Krauss & Union Station playing on the iPod.
A surprise wonderful email from an old and very dear friend.
The silence which comes from the entire staff sitting in computer training in another building.

How do you like to start your work day?

Well, let's see....

2007-10-02T10:32:00.000-04:00

Didn't have Chuck on my must-see TV list. Really liking Chuck.

Tried Big Bang Theory...it was "ehh" at best.

Enjoyed Aliens in America (even though my former TV boyfriend, Luke, is not what he used to be), but don't know if I will make time to watch it....though Mondays are a bit grim, when I am not watching the game.

Cane...could be interesting...I will keep watching.

Life? Loved Life. Love Damian Lewis...seriously adorable. And his character kind of has a Dr. House/Detective Goren thing going which I dig.

K*Ville. I am sticking it out despite poor reviews.

What am I missing, people? I know, Lawren, Prison Break....but I think it is too late for me and Wentworth Miller, despite his hotness. Kind of like Lost...if you weren't in at the beginning, you aren't ever getting in.

Must See TV

2007-09-17T13:18:00.000-04:00

Blame this post on Robin. She started me thinking on the new shows for the fall, as well as the old shows which remain appointment TV. With that intro, here's what I hope to be watching/DV-R'ing come the fall:

Monday:
Yeah...not much is going on for me on Monday. I think that Aliens in America looks okay...and Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls *swoon*) is now a part of the cast, so maybe I will give it a try. Another new show I am planning to try is K*Ville...gotta love a good crime drama (like there aren't enough, right?), and this one, set in post-Katrina New Orleans, has the potential to be quite entertaining. So, yeah...I got nothin' for Monday....Oh, wait - Family Guy is on Monday, right? I will be watching Family Guy on Monday :)

Tuesday:
This one's easy, now that Gilmore Girls is off the area, and Dancing with the Stars has no one that has captured my interest.
8-9 Bones
9-10 House
10-11 Cane (Jimmy Smits & Hector Elizando back on prime-time TV - woo hoo! Of course, this will be DV-R'ed b/c I never make it through the 10:00 show!)

Wednesday:
This is a toughy. I think I am going to try out Pushing Daisies, a cool concept, and I love the look of the show. Soooo....
8-9 Pushing Daisies
9-10 Criminal Minds (Mandy's left, but Joe Mantegna has signed on...should be good stuff!)
9-10 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (DV'R'ed to fast forward through all of the bullshit reality show-type filler)
10-11 Life (Damian Lewis - a cop who spent a significant time in prison for a crime he did not commit, is exonerated, sues the gov't, gets a huge damage award, and...goes back to being a cop. Fabulous. Also stars Alan Arkin...yay!)

Thursday:
Another busy night - but these are the oldies but goodies...*
8-9 Ugly Betty (Is or isn't Santos going to live??? What about Betty and Henry??? Can't wait to find out.....)
9-9:30 The Office (three words: Pam. And. Jim. Okay, and Dwight. I love Dwight.)
9-10 Grey's Anatomy (DV-R'ed b/c I am a bit exhausted with Izzy & George's storyline, and I can fast-forward through Mere's annoyingly pinched dialogue of miserable-ness)
*I can't believe I am typing this, but I think I might DV-R Survivor. I haven't seen it in years, and really think it has run its course, but I am excited by the prospect of the show being set in China this season. We will see!)

Friday
What else???? FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!!! (Call me, Kyle Chandler!)

How about the rest of you? What are you planning to watch this fall? What are you excited about? What are you NOT excited about? (I'm talking to you, creators of Cavemen. What the hell.)

Random question...

2007-09-04T10:52:00.000-04:00

What do y'all think of that whole big belt thing? You know, wearing a wide belt with a dress shirt or sweater? I now own two and kind of dig the look - it creates a nice shape that I once achieved without the need of accessories...but I also kind of feel like Betty Boop.

Thoughts?

For those of you in the know...

2007-08-21T08:47:00.000-04:00

Isabelle Jade [Chinese name]

Maya Grace [Chinese name]

Thoughts, please....

He's at home...washing his tights.

2007-08-09T09:11:00.000-04:00

So, there's this new show on TNT called "The Company." I have not yet seen it - though it is patiently waiting for me on DV-R. It stars Chris O'Donnell, Alfred Molina, and, the main reason I want to watch - Michael Keaton. Is it weird that I am still harboring a bit of a crush on Michael Keaton from back when he played "Batman" in 1989??? I think so. Loved him - loved the hair, the glasses, the tortured soul...and of course, the Batsuit (w/o the nipples, thankyouverymuch, George Clooney). Loved all of it.

This goes back to the strange celeb crush question I asked some years ago....I guess I can add "Michael Keaton circa 1989" to the list, huh?

And speaking of shows on basic cable- anyone watching "Mad Men" on AMC? (This is why I love my DV-R.) The lead character, Don Draper...what's up with that guy? Seriously tortured soul. Excellent show - if you're not watching, I suggest you check it out....if only to relive the good ol' days: Drinking bloody marys at client meetings, drinking scotch in the privacy of your office, drinking mint juleps while pregnant. (Are you seeing a pattern here?) Ooh, also - Niagara Falls on your honeymoon, and flirtin' with the gals in the typing pool. Good stuff. It's certainly a time period that hasn't received much attention- and it is fascinating.

Silly donkey.

2007-08-03T09:03:00.000-04:00

Bonnie and Rock? Seriously? Could Bonnie be any more annoying? Apparently, I do not understand the job duties and responsibilities of a "nanny" - according to Bonnie, it entails cooking fried cheese, making beds, and Windexing things. Hmmm....tough gig.

I am now on Team Rock......I can't believe I just said that.

Good morning, Baltimore!!!!

2007-07-30T11:20:00.000-04:00

Go see "Hairspray." No, seriously...go.

It is a toe-tapping good time. The leads are amazing - Nikki Blomsky, Zac Efron (adorable), Queen Latifah, Christopher Walken...etc, etc, etc - all wonderful. I don't know the actor that played "Seaweed Stubbs," but he blew me away....

And - though his "Baltimore accent" was absolutely annoying, I enjoyed John Travolta as "Edna"...I mean, he's no Divine or Harvey Fierstein...but who is????!?!?!

I am off to buy the soundtrack, since the Broadway CD that Chuck gave me is completely worn out.....now, go. See the movie. You won't regret it.

Summer Lovin'...

2007-07-19T10:40:00.000-04:00

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Seriously, Gordon Ramsay's use of the word "fuck" is a thing of beauty. And something about him is completely sexy. As for the cheftestants, I am in Team Waffle House - go, Julia!

Book: New England White by Stephen L. Carter
I read his first book, The Emperor of Ocean Park, and it is one of my alltime favorite books. So psyched to start the new one......of course, this may change once Amazon sends me HP & the Deathly Hallows.

Beer: Land Shark. Yum-a-dum-dum. Thank you, Jimmy Buffett, for coming up with a yummy, refreshing beer - best enjoyed on my new deck. Woo hoo!

CD: The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson.
Okay, I know, I know. I am a ginormous nerd. This has got to be the best audio-book I have ever heard...well played, Scott Brick, well played. (Ooh, for those of you who are fans of this book, my brother told me that a movie version is pre-production, with Tom Hanks playing Daniel Burnham and Tom Cruise as Dr. H. H. Holmes. PERFECT.)

Yep, I'm back...

2007-07-16T16:44:00.001-04:00

but more importantly, she's back - Energy Spatula is back in blogger business.**

Welcome back, E.Spat. I've missed you.

**Thanks to Kel for the heads-up. (Sorry, girl - how insensitive of me!)

Hi-larious.

2007-06-05T16:00:00.000-04:00

Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?* by Jen Lancaster. **

Buy it, read it....don't drink Coke while doing so, or you will do some serious sinus damage.

*Does that title rock or what?
**She's from Huntington, IN - how funny is that?

Reee-al tomato ketchup, Eddie? Nothin' but the best.

2007-06-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

You know those movies that, if they are on television, you HAVE to watch - even if you have seen them a million times, or even if the movie is three-quarters of the way over - you still have to watch? Well, that was me yesterday.

(Yes - I am a slacker. I took the red-eye home from Vegas, and didn't go into work....way too sleepy...and slightly hungover...can you be hungover from food???)

I caught National Lampoon's Vacation, The Blues Brothers, AND the classic Rear Window. Luckily, I caught the last one from the beginning...and how great is that movie? Seriously -Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly, and Raymond Burr. Excellent. A trifecta of awesome. If I had found Grosse Pointe Blank, my slack-ass day of TV would have been perfect.

What about y'all? What are those movies that YOU have to watch if you find them on TV??

Cross your fingers and hold your heart.

2007-05-21T13:35:00.000-04:00

The title is for my BFF Amanda. Thanks to her and my girls, Kyleen & Heidi, and law school buddy, Matt, for coming to see my show yesterday. Though I was unable to see them, it was awesome to know that they were in the audience rooting for me. Thanks guys, for making the trek north for a little KP and Cole Porter. You are the best.

In other news, I have new wheels! Yes, I have finally rid myself of the Accord, and am now, oddly, driving the same kind of car as my parents. Does that make me feel a little old? Yep. I am afraid so. Or maybe my parents are just extra cool. I think it is the latter. Either way, I LOVE my new car. Here it is:

It's a Hyundai Santa Fe...and it rocks. Fully loaded with fabulous butt-warmer seats and a killer sound system. (And it has a 5 year/100K warranty which is pretty awesome.) So very excited about driving it to Gulf Shores in a few weeks!!!!

Like the loss of an old friend.

2007-05-16T08:10:00.000-04:00

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely, and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

Goodbye, Stars Hollow....I will miss you all...Kirk, Miss Patty, Gypsy, Babette & Morey, Sookie & Jackson, Michel, Paul Anka, Lane & Zach, Luke, and of course, the Girls themselves.

*sigh*

Thank God for DVDs.

For an absolutely perfect eulogy, brilliant dialogue and all, check out:
http://roundheadedboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/shamus-on-gilmore-girls.html

Freakin' SWEET!

2007-05-07T08:36:00.000-04:00

I know that, in the past, I have discussed the virtues of certain radio stations...but since moving to the Fort, I have stuck to NPR and my iPod, because, well, all I could find were country stations. ("We have both kinds of music: country and western."*)

Well, no more. I have found the greatest radio station - only been on the air up here for abut 20 days...and well, I love it. It is perfect for someone like me - born in the late 70's, graduated from high school in '95...they call it "classic dance." And boy, is it.

A sample from this morning's drive in to work:
Lionel Ritchie's "All Night Long"
Earth Wind & Fire's "Boogie Wonderland"
MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This"
Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation"
Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to be Your Everything"

I have also heard "It Takes 2 (to make a thing go right)" by Rob Base and Michael Jackson's "Do You Remember the Time?" (back when MJ rocked my world).

Tell me that doesn't rock....especially on a Monday morning....

*From the movie...no, you know what? I am not going to tell from what movie that quote came. If you don't know, you need to be smacked in the neck with a sock full of quarters.

Out of the mouths of gays.*

2007-05-04T10:28:00.000-04:00

Apologies to my reader. The lack of blogging is not for lack of things to discuss, just no time to get them down. I am currently in the home stretch of rehearsals for a show I am doing at our local community theatre. Honestly, when I started I thought it would be Waiting for Guffman, but to my great surprise, it is not. My fellow performers are talented, wonderful people and I am truly happy I decided to audition (AND that the director chose me to be one of the 8 that make up our small cast). So...that's where I have been....

Lastly - to my fellow Gilmore Girls fans, Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" is now my new favorite song....who's with me?????

*Has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post. It's merely my favorite line from my favorite bitch-on-wheels, Wili, from last week's Ugly Betty.

2007-04-17T09:09:00.000-04:00

God bless those affected by the Virginia Tech tragedy.

And shame on the media who have decided to place the blame for this incident squarely on university administration and law enforcement officers.

Don't miss it!

2007-04-13T15:40:00.001-04:00

Grammy-Award winning saxophonist Jeff Coffin will be holding a saxophone clinic at Paige's Music in Indianapolis on April 24th at 6:30 pm. Jeff plays with Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, one of my all-time favorite groups. If you are a sax player, a jazzer, or just want to know how this guy can fit two saxophone mouthpieces in his mouth at the same time (dirty!), I recommend you check it out...the guy is absolutely brilliant.

(And for more Jeff in Indy, come to the Jazz Kitchen in Broad Ripple on May 13th where he will be playing with his Mu'tet. For more info: www.jeffcoffin.com.)

While I am commenting on things Heidi will probably disagree with....

2007-04-12T10:35:00.000-04:00

Let me preface this whole post by saying that I am an absolute music snob. Those who know me know that I never listen to Top 40 radio - I listen to a lot of jazz, Broadway, soul, and anything recommended by my brother, Kyle, who has the best musical tastes of anyone I know. My favorites musicians run the gamut from Jamie Cullum to Bela Fleck to Alison Krauss to Pat Metheny to Michael Brecker to Tower of Power, etc.

That being said:

Y'all remember back inthe good ol' days when I was recapping American Idol...you know, back when Idol was good. Well, if you do - you will recall that I was a huge fan of one Elliott Yamin The adorable guy with the funky teeth and the killer soul and R&B sound. Well, the funky teeth have been replaced by veneers (and, I hate to say it, but they look a bit like Chiclets stuck in his head), but the voice is still there. Oh yeah....I bought his self-titled album on iTunes. And let me just say how much I love it.

Yes, it still has the same production quality of every other Idol's first album (a little too clean, a little too pop), but it is so very clear that this guy has a phenomenal voice and musicality that I believe that been missing from every Idol that has come before him....and apparently after him (read: San-effing-jaya). Seriously. If you are a pop fan, get this album. If you are even an R&B fan, get this album. This boy can saaaang. And he does a cover of one of my top ten favorite songs ever, "A Whiter Shade of Pale" - just awesome.

I really think that this is the best male voice that has come out of Idol yet (yes, even better than Clay Aiken - and for me, that is saying something)...and with a little more time and experience, Elliott Yamin could have a significant musical career ahead of him.

"Thank God You're Here..."

2007-04-11T08:59:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else watching this show on NBC? It may just be my odd and unfailing love for Dave Foley that I am watching (seriously, I have had the biggest crush on him ever since Kids in the Hall and News Radio), but I am really enjoying it.

If you don't know what I am talking about - TGYH is an improv "game" show, somewhat similar to Whose Line Is It Anyway? - only they use well-known actors...Jennifer Coolidge, Wayne Knight, Kevin Nealon, etc. in the different sketch scenes. David Alan Grier (of In Living Color) is the host and Dave Foley is the "judge." It's pretty damn funny...and there's nothing else on at that time....so yeah, I am hooked. These actors are put in costumes, and sent through a door where someone greets them with "Thank God you're here!" and the actors are thrown into a scene. Hilarious. One of my favorites so far: Joel McHale (from The Soup...or Talk Soup...or whatever the eff it is called) - just fantastic. Love him.

And Dave Foley.

Not so good.

2007-03-29T14:51:00.000-04:00

Root canal this morning. Suck.
Jammies and Jon Stewart at 1:00 in the afternoon on a Thursday....Not-So-Suck.

The joys of the weekend.

2007-03-26T08:23:00.000-04:00

Taking the first motorcycle ride of the year.
Spring cleaning the garage...and boy, did it need it!
Enjoying a matinee of "Little Children" at our local indie theater. Seriously, a great film...true to the book, entertaining, with fine performances by Kate Winslet and Jackie Earle Haley.
Watching Peyton Manning on SNL...(paraphrasing) "Coach, I just thought about going out there for the second half, and a little pee came out." Hee.
Catching up on "Friday Night Lights" and "Grey's Anatomy" - God bless you, DV-R!
Sleeping on freshly-laundered sheets.
Reading a chick lit book: "Cocktails for Three"...good, mindless entertainment.
Drooling over Daniel Craig as James Bond in "Casino Royale."

Yup...I think that's it!!!!

Dancin' with Steve Sanders, Joey Fatone...and some other people.

2007-03-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Okay, since I am not watching AI, I thought I would check out this season's "Dancing with the Stars," if only to see Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering, actually) get his dance on w/my girlfriend, Cheryl Burke. And so I did....and I have to say, I was quite impressed....with the guys...and Cheryl.

My faves: Joey Fatone. No question. He's adorable, funny, and can certainly groove...even if his partner looked a bit skankified. Also - Ian Ziering. Pretty good...and he's still got it in the looks department. Apolo Anton Ohno....now that boy can move. If he can make time to practice, he will definitely stay in the competition.

Not-so-faves: Ummm....the completely achy-breaky Billy Ray Cyrus. He is out of his element. And mullet gags just aren't going to cut it. Oh...and, basically, all of the ladies. Not really impressed at all....though I think Laila Ali may be able to make it happen.

Honorable Mention: John Ratzenberger. Excellent. Confident, handsome, smooth. He is certainly not going to go the way of George Hamilton and Jerry Springer. He showed he can do it - even given only 2 weeks to learn the first routine.

Oh- can I just say that Heather Mills is NOT a "charity coordinator" or whatever bullshit job title they gave her. She is PAUL MCCARTNEY'S EX-WIFE. Period. Nothing more, I'm afraid. And I don't care about her leg...I'm sorry, I don't. Either she can dance, or she can't. That's all that matters.

Lastly, I am starting a campaign to have Samantha Harris maimed....who's with me???!!!

sigh

2007-02-28T07:30:00.000-05:00

THEY HAVE TO END THE SEASON (AND POSSIBLY THE SHOW) TOGETHER, RIGHT?!?!? I HAVE PUT WAY TOO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT INTO THIS SHOW FOR THEM NOT TO END UP TOGETHER, DAMNIT!!!

*end of obsessive rant*

I've gone batshit crazy, y'all!!!!

2007-02-19T14:07:00.000-05:00

One Helluva Weekend.

2007-02-05T08:39:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, CONGRATS TO THE COLTS!!!
I could not be more happy for Tony Dungy, Peyton Manning, and the rest of the boys in blue. It is certainly a well-deserved win for a classy team like the Colts.

Second - I saw The Painted Veil at our local independent theater....Edward Norton, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and the China countryside as a backdrop....truly a lovely film. I highly recommend it.

Third - B/c of the crazy cold weather, I spent much of the weekend indoors, bundled under a quilt...watching Seasons 2 and 3 of Gilmore Girls...reliving the good 'ol days.

And finally, today....is the big 3-0. Yes, dear reader(s?), I am officially old. My husband bought me a lovely watch, my work colleagues decorated my office, and a friend bought me the "Birthday Girl" Philosophy gift set...what could be better????

Hope everyone else had a weekend as lovely as mine!

I don't care that he's dating Jessica Simpson.

2007-01-29T15:51:00.000-05:00

I really really really love John Mayer's latest album, Continuum. Okay, I am a big JM fan - I even skipped Torts my first year in law school so I (along with a couple law school cohorts) could see him in concert...well worth it. (Sorry, Professor Magliocca...it just was). This album is the most musically diverse and challenging of all of his work - though, honestly, I don't even want to include his second album, Inside Wants Out - it wasn't all that spectacular. (Okay, it sucked). But his live album , As/Is, and his blues stuff are just impressive....

Anyway...I say all of this as background to say how much I love Continuum. I especially love "Bold As Love" and "Stop This Train" and "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room." Just great stuff, really.

What else am I listening to?
Hmmmm....
Alison Krauss & Union Station's So Long, So Wrong
Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Cole Porter Songbook
Patton Oswalt's Feelin' Kinda Patton (Okay, he's a comedian...but I'm still listening to him)
Herbie Hancock's Possibilities

How 'bout you? What are y'all listening to right now?

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING.

2007-01-22T08:33:00.000-05:00

Bears vs. Colts - Super Bowl 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My town isn't going to know what to do. Coach Dungy was right about where the Super Bowl should be played...right here in my town, baby!

All I have to say about it is...

GO COLTS!!!!

This fantastic win by the Colts capped off a fantastic weekend - great conversation, shopping, and lots of wine with my best girlfriend, and a couple good movies with my hubby.

What could be better?

The Globes...

2007-01-16T13:15:00.000-05:00

One of my all-time favorite awards shows - nothing goes better that movie & television stars AND booze. Makes for entertaining television. Favorite moments of the night:

America Ferrera's truly heartfelt acceptance speech - she so deserved the award for Best Actress in a Comedy (for Ugly Betty, in case you didn't know!).
Ugly Betty's win for Best Comedy (of course, I was sad too that The Office didn't win...it was a toss-up for me!)
One of my many boyfriends, Hugh Laurie - and his win for the portrayal of the ever-sarcastic, self-destructive, gorgeous Dr. Gregory House.
Meryl Streep's witty acceptance speech - what a class act.
Helen Mirren's awards for portraying both Elizabeths...I saw The Queen, and have never been so impressed with a performance.
Sacha Baron Cohen's acceptance speech...hee hee.

Not so great: Warren Beatty's loooong-winded thank you for his Cecil B. DeMille Award....and Tom Hanks' incessant use of the word "balls." Ugh.

Happy 2007!!!

2007-01-02T08:22:00.000-05:00

I spent a wonderful weekend with my mom and dad, brother & sis-in-law, and in one word - it was fab. We did a kind of Christmas/NYE combo - with dinner and presents on Saturday night and NYE celebrations on Sunday, and it was perfect. Nothing better that eating, drinking, playing games and watching movies with the fam. Also, I have to say, I much prefer Garrison Keillor's NYE special to the creepy Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest New Years Rockin' Eve. If nothing else, it makes me feel young :) I didn't know half of the performers scheduled to play on NYRE. Yep - gotta love ringing the new year in with some sparking shiraz and Emmylou Harris....old school, baby.

Hope everyone had a fantastic New Years' weekend!

Ho Ho Ho.

2006-12-06T12:47:00.000-05:00

No, this is not a post about Brit Brit and her labia majora....although certainly numerous posts could be devoted to such a topic...

Instead, I am just thinking about how much I love this time of year. I really do. It's rather childish, but I don't care. I love me some Christmas. I love Christmas lights and wrapping gifts and Barenaked Ladies' Christmas CD and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and White Christmas. Love it, love it love it.

I also love the firm "Holiday Gathering," as it is called. I am blessed in that I actually enjoy the company of the people I work with - as such, I am really looking forward to this Saturday's annual open bar/bad DJ/be-nice-to-partners'-wives fest held at the local country club.

In other news...
Did anyone else who watched GG last night think that Luke could have completely kicked the shit out of Christopher???? Yep, me too. Scott Patterson is one whole hunk of a man and David Sutcliffe? Yeah, notsomuch. Along those same lines...Luke needs to keep the ball cap on...wow. SP's forehead has turned into an eighthead. Very sad.

"“I wnt 2 dvrce u.”

2006-11-10T14:53:00.000-05:00

My favorite lady lawyers and I were debating the trashiness of Britney Spears (Hence, the title of this post...which is what Brit Brit sent to K-Fed, letting him know of her interest in dissolution).

Here are my thoughts, posted on Amanda's blog. Seriously, the girl is a mess.

Randomness.

2006-10-25T16:53:00.000-04:00

Watched my first episode of "Veronica Mars"....love, love, loved it. The title character, and the acturess, Kristen Bell, who plays her, completely remind me of my girl, Lawren.

Am completely hooked on "Friday Night Lights" - it could just be Kyle Chandler's lovely locks...and his legs in a pair of shorts, I don't know, but I do know that an overwhelming sense of sadness washes over me when it ends.

What the eff is up with "aerie tuesday" on the CW during "Gilmore Girls"? Not only did I not enjoy last night's episode, I really didn't like these silly nitwit girls fake-discussing the show afterwards!

Excerpt from yesterday's email to Amanda....and yes, I am still sore.

2006-10-24T09:11:00.000-04:00

Ugh. So, I have decided that karma is real and it bit me in the ass today. J [names changed to protect the newly-shorn] got the world's worst haircut yesterday, came into my office and I literally laughed in his face...uncontrollably. It was and is bad. Like, I guess his mom (yeah, mom cuts his hair) effed it up and the only way to fix it was to buzz it. Yeah....all gone. Bad. Really bad. Anyway, here's where karma comes in. I made fun of him all day - I called him a cancer patient (awful), a prison inmate (also awful), and a Buddhist monk (okay, that was pretty accurate)....and then later, when I walked across the street to get coffee, I did a typical Kelly P. maneuver and went ass over tea kettle in front of our building. (shoe caught in pant cuff...yep.) I am still hurting.

Damn karma.

Anyone surprised by this supreme act of klutziness?? Anyone? Bueller?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-20T09:12:00.000-04:00

DEFENSE VERDICT!!!!!!*

*Yeah, we represented the defendant...in case you couldn't tell.

Damn you, DV-R!

2006-10-11T08:46:00.000-04:00

I don't normally curse at my DV-R...I LOVE my DV-R most days. Except for last night. I had taped Gilmore Girls b/c I knew I wouldn't be home in time to watch...So at 10 pm, I settled in for some good GG time. And while I am not completely thrilled with the storylines or the writing right now (just not as sharp as it used to be be - I miss you Amy Sherman-Palladino!), I was getting into it...enjoying Lane & Zach...and loving Rory's struggle with IM sex talk....and most importantly, trying to follow Lorelai through her very difficult Luke/Christopher decision. Anyway - very last scene of the show, Lorelai picks up the phone, and ............and.....???

"Delete this Selection"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

My DV-R cut off the end of the freakin' show.

WHAT HAPPENED? WHO DID SHE CALL? Did she call anyone?

Was she just calling Al's Pancake House? Or Sookie?

For the love of God, someone hook me up.

End of Summer Song...

2006-10-05T09:03:00.000-04:00

Amanda's end of summer photo montage reminded me of a song from my CD du jour:

The song? "Photograph":

Her name was written on the photograph,
right next to her red, sunburnt face,
it all had happened in that long tall grass,
about a mile from her old place,
I can't remember how it started
and if it lasted that day in the sun.

We said that we were going to study hard,
we held our books instead of hands,
she held a blanket over cans of beer,
I can't deny I was so full of fear.
It's just another story caught up in another photograph I found.
and it seems like another person lived that life a great many years ago from now,

When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.
when I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

And there's the first time that I tried that stuff,
I think I look a little green,
I remember throwing up behind a bush,
and I found it hard to use my feet,
and who's that easily led little boy who's really off his head?

It was the same night that I kissed that girl,
the tall one with the auburn hair,
I remember laughing coz to kiss me,
she had to sit down on a chair!
she tasted like the schnapps she'd drunk,
and the cigarette she'd stolen from her mum.
And it's just another story caught up in another photograph I found.

When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.
When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

Dancin', dancin', dancin'....

2006-09-20T08:50:00.000-04:00

Ahhhh...yes! The new season of "Dancing with the Stars" is up and running. Tucker Carlson is gone (thank the Lord - he makes me ill), and once poor Jerry Springer goes.....okay, and Harry Hamlin....we will have ourselves a competition. Looks to be a great season.

Early favorites:
(1) My boy Emmitt Smith - that boy can dance! (And no one's hotter than that Cheryl Burke.)
(2) Joey Lawrence....wow (or WHOA.)
(3) Monique Coleman (only b/c I LOVE Louis van Amstel.)

Anyone else watching??

Laughter, Pride, and Honor.

2006-09-11T09:25:00.000-04:00

Sunday night, during the Colts-Patriots game, John Madden used the word "cankles" - as in your calves running right into your ankles. Awesome. Loved it.

*******

I want to thank Amanda, Heidi, and Lori, along with some of my non-law school friends who sponsored my participation in the local AIDS Walk and Festival. It was an amazing experience for me. I was having a morning of self-pity, and taking part in such an event helped give me some much needed perspective. All people, black and white, gay and straight, together - working and walking toward a common goal. A perfect way to spent a Sunday afternoon.

*******

I can't believe it's been 5 years since 9-11. I still remember standing in front of my sixth graders, teaching language arts, when my mentor teacher called me into the hall to tell me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. At that point, she then sent me back into the room stating that I was not to inform any of the students as to what was going on (did I really know, anyway?), as we didn't want to upset them. I went back into my classroom with my bravest, strongest (I thought) teacher face, and took my kids through some sentence diagramming. She again arrived at my classroom and pulled me out to inform me that another plane had done the same thing. Again - brave, strong teacher face. Luckily, after language arts was "specials" - I believe they had P.E. that day....I took that time to watch the television set up in the break room.

Everyone had the same idea...everyone was squeezed in the teacher's lounge watching the tv that had been rolled in for this reason. Our principal made the decision that none of the teachers were to tell their students what had occurred until after lunch, as he didn't want the kids discussing it at that time. So, I did as told and I picked my students up from specials and walked them to the lunchroom. I then rejoined my fellow teachers in the lounge.

After lunch, I picked my students up from the classroom and rather than having them "run around the rock" and D.E.A.R. (exercise...and reading), I told them we were going to have a class meeting in our classroom library. My classroom library was in its own little section of the room with big pillows and bean bag chairs - very cozy. So we sat on the floor with bean bags and pillows, and I proceeded to explain to the kids...as well I could manage...what had occurred that morning.

Interestingly, one of the concerns that the other teachers had was, how to handle the students' likely response of- let's fight back...let's do the same thing to them...revenge.....but, guess what? At least for my awesome (they really were awesome) students, that was never an issue. It wasn't - what are we going to do to the terrorists - but - what are we going to do to help everyone in NYC? I was moved, and in complete awe of these 12 year olds. I put the question to them - what did they want to do to help? Among themselves, they decided that they wanted to write letters. To whom? I asked. To kids. What kids? A student asked, aren't there schools in that area? I thought so - but I put them to the task of finding out. One student jumped on the Internet and found some elementary schools in Lower Manhattan - we noted their address and principals' names, and spent the afternoon writing letters to the students directly affected by the terrible tragedy that had befallen them.

For all their fear and confusion and sadness, my students' first concern was - how can we help? To this day, I am honored that I was a part of these brilliant and charming kids' lives during that time. Remembering that helps me to deal with the insanity the world can sometimes throw my way.

Love to DHS Class of 2008.

You're so money and you don't even know it.

2006-08-30T15:48:00.000-04:00

So in the past couple weeks I have seen three movies that I have been meaning to see for... about 10 years:
(1) Swingers (1996)...hence the title...
(2) Hope Floats (1998)...and
(3) Reality Bites (1994)

My thoughts...

First off, holy shit. What the hell happened to Jon Favreau? He is a little shrimp of a guy in Swingers. Same with Vince Vaughn. And I think that Vince has either had some voice lessons or has gone through puberty or something. His voice is completely different. That's craziness right there. But, overall, a very entertaining film. I really liked it. And I now know why one of the guys I work with always describes things and people as being "money."

As for Hope Floats, I had seen parts of this film, but had never seen it all the way through. I will admit that I needed at least one box of Kleenex...maybe two...in order to get through the damn thing. I loved it. Sandra Bullock movies are one of my guilty pleasures (along with Magnum P.I. reruns and Grease 2), and this one didn't let me down. Loved it. Loved Gina Rowlands and mostly, loved Harry Connick, Jr. Yummy.

Finally, I found myself really relating to Reality Bites even though those people are more of my brother's generation than mine. I think, technically, I am a "Gen X-er" but on the very tail end of the generation. But I loved the baby doll dresses, and flannels, and mary jane shoes and the whole thing. Very much the way I was in high school. I was a bit disturbed, however, by the fact that I rooted for Ben Stiller's character over Ethan Hawke's character...what does that say about me? Apparently...I am a square. Sad, but true.

So, based on the the time it took me to see these films, I figure, at this rate, I will see Talladega Nights in 2012.

This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

2006-08-24T11:22:00.000-04:00

So, on Tuesday, I played golf................

Yeah, I'm just gonna let that one sink in a little.

"It's a great day to be alive...."*

2006-08-22T09:04:00.000-04:00

Good morning, all...

Just thought I would share the wonderful news - he did it! He went through with it. My eternally-bachelored brother is officially hitched! Yay!

It was a beautiful beach wedding...a breathtakingly lovely bride... close friends and family... great music and touching vows. I couldn't possibly be more happy for K&K2.

On another note, I spent the time between the wedding breakfast and dinner hanging out with some of K's friends, two of whom I have known since I was in sixth grade. Their fondest memory of me? My unhealthy obsession with New Kids on the Block. Awesome. We all started out by the hotel pool, drinking Coronas, lovingly purchased, iced down, and delivered to the pool by my father....who rocks. Duh. Deciding we were hungry...and needing more beer...we headed to the local Hooters....where, interestingly, I saw no hooters. Seriously. I saw skinny biznatches in shiny pantyhose and orange polyester shorts...but no hooters. WTF? Aside from this fact, we had a great time swapping stories about my brother and his infamously crazy ex-girlfriends. So fun.

Thank you, K&K2, for allowing me to share this most important occasion with you.

*My bro "Pied Piper"-ed everyone to their spot on the beach by singing and playing this song as we all followed behind him. It was a perfect way to start the ceremony.

Summer TV Fun....

2006-08-14T17:57:00.000-04:00

Normally the words "fun" and "summer" do not go hand-in-hand when discussing what's on television. It's all reruns and recaps and bad reality TV. However, I have to admit that I have become addicted to a couple shows and some really colorful TV personalities...

#1 - Dog, the Bounty Hunter (A&E). Are you kidding me? This could possibly be the greatest show ever. It's set in Hawaii...the Dog has a kickass mullet...his wife has the largest (real) breasts I have ever seen...they track down and take down "tweeks" - crackheads...and then....they pray about it. Stop it. It rocks. I actually got all weepy during the episode where Dog and his wife, Beth, finally got married. It was just lovely.

#2 - Most anything on the Food Network. It could because I am on Weight Watchers, but I have suddenly become obsessed with food. My two favorites right now, Paula Deen's show - yummy, yummy - and ANYTHING with Alton Brown...love him! His show, Feasting on Asphalt is great....Has anyone seen this? He and his adorable self travel across the country on a BMW motorcycle eating "road food" (not to be confused with road head...wait, did I just say that?) at local restaurants. They stopped some place in Evansville and ate brain sandwiches...it was nasty....don't think I will be eating in Evansville anytime soon....

#3 - Take Home Chef (TLC, I think). To go along with that food thing....an adorable Australian chef named Curtis picks people up in grocery stores and buys them groceries then goes home and cooks this gourmet meal for the shopper and his/her family. Excellent. (And he's just plain hot. He can pick me up any day.)

#4 - The 4400 (USA Network). This has been Mr. P and my summer TV staple since it started, what, three or four years ago. Great show...kind of a Lost meets SciFi Network crossed with Passion of the Christ. Love it.

#4 - Monk (USA Network). Monk and I go back and forth. Loved it when it first came out. Then when Sharona left the show, I was sad and stopped watching. Now I absolutely love Traylor Howard's character, Natalie....she and Monk are perfect together. And Tony Shalhoub is truly a brilliant actor. Funny stuff - great story lines...Monk as Assistant Girls Basketball Coach, Monk at his 25th College Reunion, and Monk in the midst of a sanitation worker strike. Hilarious.

There you go - it's no Real World Whereever They Are Now or Paris and Nicole: Bulimia Buddies Forever or anything, but it's some good stuff all the same.

What's everyone else watching????

What I'm Reading

2006-08-01T14:11:00.000-04:00

I just started Little Children by Tom Perrotta. Perrotta also wrote Joe College and Election (the movie with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick) .

So far, it rocks. Granted, I am only a chapter or two in. But it is as satisfying as I thought it would be when I purchased it.

Here's the review from The New Yorker:
The eponymous children in this satirical novel are actually adults who, chafing at the burdens of parenthood, try to re-create their unencumbered youth. Sarah, an overeducated young homemaker, likens her tantrum-prone daughter to a “brooding Russian epileptic” out of Dostoevsky, and pines for lost college days of feminism and bisexuality. While her husband orders used panties online, she has furtive sex with a stay-at-home dad whose repeated failure to pass the bar has earned him the contempt of his gorgeous wife.

The humor is sometimes cruel, but Perrotta never betrays the complexity of his characters. For all Sarah’s sins—neglecting her child, wallowing in romantic delusions—there’s something almost brave about her refusal to join the supermoms drilling their toddlers with dreams of Harvard, and about her yearning for more than “a painfully ordinary life.”

I will give you my final "thumbs up or down" once I'm done...I'm pretty sure it's going to be an "up." Robin, I guess that means you need to avoid it like the plague. ;)

N'Sync's Lance Bass announces he's gay!

2006-07-26T16:21:00.000-04:00

*cricket, cricket*

"I wanna C-O-O-L R-I-D-E-R...."

2006-07-21T13:09:00.000-04:00

Last week, my husband bought a Harley-Davidson Road King....

And the forecast for the weekend looks absolutely perfect for a ride.

WOO HOO!

(Don't worry, Mom - we both wear helmets.)

"We're all in this together..."

2006-07-20T13:50:00.000-04:00

I really, really love the Disney movie, High School Musical.

I am currently listening to the soundtrack as I draft a confidential mediation statement.

Last night, I had a dream I was part of the cast, but was struggling to learn the choreography.

I think I may have a problem.....

Friday Night Fun with Chuck

2006-07-17T14:15:00.000-04:00

"Keep your focusssss...." (during Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit...or the game Mr. P called "Mary Mary F*ck Stick" for some reason)

"Hey, Carol......Hey, Mary....." (to every person that walked by our table at dinner.)

"Let me tell you about my friend, Trannsy...." (a story about his imaginary transsexual buddy)

"I'd be glad to get a table...if I had a door." (Bitchin' about his seat in our Jeep....okay, I'd bitch too....he sat in the back...where the dogs normally sit.)

"It costs $24.88." (The game actually cost $34.88...but that's what Marilyn gets for not sending another employee to do a price check.)

Favorite visual of the evening....Kelly, sitting cross-legged on the ground in the middle of the store with a huge bottle of tequila in her lap. Ahhh....good times.

Love to you all - thanks for making the trip!!!!

"Looking In the Eyes of Love"

2006-07-05T11:20:00.000-04:00

That's the title of an Alison Krauss and Union Station song. I am singing it as part of my brother's impending nuptuals.

Why am I blogging about this? Because it's a big deal.

Why?

Because my brother, K, is getting married. That's a big deal.

Big. Huge. Here's why...

My brother has been engaged two other times, but he just couldn't seem to get it done. This record has basically become a sort of punchline in our house (along with his extreme dislike for eggs...this also always gets a laugh for some reason). Our family was actully quite pleased by his unwillingness to commit...okay, at least I was. I disliked both of his former fiances immensely.

He then swore off the entire institution of marriage...along with Christianity, apparently. I think he is Buddhist now, I am not sure. But what I am sure of is, for a long time, K touted that marriage was not for him. And that no woman could change his feelings on the matter. My mom wept, knowing that neither one of her kids would produce grandchildren any time soon...or at all, in the case of K. I kept my eye out, hoping to find that perfect person to make him happy, and to maybe...just maybe, change his mind. And my family became resigned to the fact that K would remain alone...in his little Oak Park apartment with little to no furniture and a ton of books....highly successful in his work, busy with his many hobbies (mountain climbing, music, canoeing, kayaking, martial arts, etc etc etc), but yet, still alone.

How wrong we all were.

And for once, I was thrilled to be wrong.

At the beginning of this year, K began talking about this woman...this AMAZING woman, also "K." (Let's call her K2 to avoid confusion!) To my family, this was a good sign, considering my husband and I are "K"s, my brother's a "K" and my mom's name is, in fact, "Kay." Of course, K2 shared her name with my parents' schnauzer, which is a bit unfortunate...but still, my mother took it as a sign. It seems that K has known K2 for years and years as she managed his favorite coffee shop in Chicago...they kept in touch by email - even while they both dated other people. At some point, K & K2 decided to go on a "date"....at this same coffee shop. And the rest, as they say, is history. He's in love. I have never seen K so happy....and comfortable with himself and his relationship with K2.

And what do I think of K2? She is, in fact, amazing. She's funny, smart as hell, down to earth, and she keeps K in check. She's not afraid to speak her own mind and challenges K when the need arises...someone has to when I'm not around, right?! The best part, she makes K smile....and show his teeth while doing so (also a big step for him).

They set the date - August 19, 2006, in Fort Myers Beach, Florida. This seemed to be set awfully soon, but as K said, and to paraphrase one of his favorite movies and mine, When Harry Met Sally..., "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible..." It will be non-traditional - no attendants, no minister....no shoes. Just a notary (re)public (as K says), a beach, a mandolin player, and close friends and family. Which is perfect, because my brother is as non-traditional as they come.

Oh, yeah - and after the ceremony, rather than a reception, K2's family is hosting a breakfast.

I wonder if they are planning to serve eggs ;)

Morning funny...

2006-06-29T08:15:00.000-04:00

"Some scholars have argued [that] the Constitution clearly states only Congress can declare war, and they are not allowed to simply delegate that authority to the president. However, you can get around that with the legal technique of taking the word constitution and adding the word shmonstitution to the end of it."

--Jon Stewart

(Hot AND funny as hell...a seriously lethal combination)

That certainly won't keep the doctor away....

2006-06-26T16:44:00.000-04:00

Email from me to Mr. P:

You know you are having a rough day when you go down to the cafeteria to buy an apple...and then when you get back upstairs you realize that you bought a wax display apple....but you only realize it when you try to bite into it....

fuck.
(i'm still hungry, too.)

It's true. I bought an effing wax apple. I suck. And the cashier let me. She sucks more.

That very fun movie meme going around....

2006-06-22T08:32:00.000-04:00

Both Brian and Heidi had this over at their blogs, and I thought it quite fun...so I thought I would join in. I am a movie quote nerd, so this meme is right up my alley. Let ye be warned, however, my taste in movies is rather schizophrenic.

The Rules:

A. Pick 11 of your favorite movies.
B. Then pick one of your favorite quotes from each movie.
C. Post the quotes on your blog.
D. Have commenters guess what the movie is.
E. Either strike out the quote once it has been correctly identified or place the guesser’s user name directly after the quote.
F. Extra points for knowing the actor or character’s name

Here we go...

1. "Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away? " Let me just say, right off the bat, that I am truly impressed with Amanda's knowledge of my movies. She got this one!

High Fidelity with Kelly's favorite - John Cusack. Said by "Barry," played brilliantly by Jack Black.

2. "And Master, sir, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall assert, that I am an ass."
Nice job, Lawren!

Much Ado About Nothing, said by "Dogberry," played by Michael Keaton.

3. "That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
Ow, ow - way to go, Chuck!

American Beauty, said by "Lester Burnham," played by my favorite, Kevin Spacey, about his wife, played by Annette Bening.
(Charles - if you don't get #2 and/or #8, I will be sorely disappointed!)

4. "Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit but, hey, I'm in a police station."
thenambypamby rocks - answering the movie/character/actor. Woo hoo!

The Usual Suspects, said by "Verbal Kint/ Keyser Soze," played by Kevin Spacey...for which he earned his first Oscar - Best Supporting Actor.

5. "Oh who cares? That guy doesn't matter now! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The police will be here by then and there are TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY!"
Amanda again:

Clue the Movie, said by "Mrs. Peacock," played by Eileen Brennan.

6. "Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!"
Gonna have to give this one to Kelly, as she chimed in first:

The Breakfast Club, said by "John Bender," played gorgeously by Judd Nelson.

7. "You'll be one of those grumpy old men sitting in the corner of a crowded cafe, mumbling to yourself, "My ass is twitching. Your people make my ass twitch."
Amanda once again! (I actually forced her to watch this one day - so I was hoping she would get it!):

French Kiss, said by "Kate," played by Meg Ryan

8. "What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!"

Hint: There is a song with the same title as the movie. The lead actor has the exact same name as me...sort of ;) It is a classic, filmed in 1952...and is my probably my all-time favorite film. Here's another quote:

"Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all. "

Way to go, Gary!
Singin' in the Rain:
The first quote said by "Lina Lamont," played by Jean Hagen; the second by "Cosmo Brown," played by Donald O' Connor.

(Gene Kelly = Kelly Jean....get it?!)

9. "Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me."
YAY for Lawren!

Animal House, said by "Otter," played by Tim Matheson....discussing the infamous "Fawn Leibowitz, from Fort Wayne, Indiana"

10. "Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit [shouts] don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!"
Although she hasn't seen it, Robin guessed correctly! (Robin, sweetie, you must see this movie!)

The Big Lebowski, said by "Walter," played (in his best role ever) by John Goodman

11. "Yeah, do you have the Beatles' White Album? Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you're out there."

Hint: The lead character also played characters named Arnold Babar, Dr. RosenRosen, Harry Truman (not the president), Ted Nugent (not the musician)and Mr. Poon...all in this movie.....and he loves the Lakers. Another famous quote:

"I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please. "

Nice job, Brian - even though it took a couple extra hints!
Fletch, said by "Irwin M. Fletcher"...or "Fletch F. Fletch"...or "Dr. RosenPenis...," played by Chevy Chase. Freakin' hilarious.

If you don't know for sure - that's okay...just take a guess!
Good luck, folks!!!!!!

What lawyers discuss after they have concluded the academic debate of thongs vs granny undies....

2006-06-21T10:37:00.000-04:00

One of many intelligent email discussions between lovely lady lawyers, A, T, KS & KP:

T: I just love that A emailed all of us to tell her about her smooth a$$ in her granny panty undies. Classic.

KP: Because that is certainly what I wanted to read about while writing my reply memorandum to our MSJ...a smooth butt goes well with a claim for violation of riparian rights :)

A: Riparian is such a sexual word.

KP: God, I wish it were....it's so not. It's two people bitching about boat docks. Not sexy in the least.

KS: It is if I ask you in a sexy voice whether you'd like to dock your boat in my...dock

KP: Ummm...it would have been sexy had you not used the same word twice.... How 'bout "pull your boat into my dock"????

Yep. Riparian rights, boat docks, and sex. Good times.

I beg to differ.

2006-06-20T08:48:00.001-04:00

Amanda thinks she has on the most adorable shoes today. I disagree...check 'em out. Are they office appropriate? Well, to me, they are! Besides, no one sees my feet anyway- I sit behind a desk all day!

Matt Lauer & Britney Spears...seriously, y'all!

2006-06-16T09:16:00.000-04:00

E.Spat discussed this a bit, and I HAD to second her emotion. Whoa.

If ever Brit needed the opportunity for a sort of image makeover, this would have been the perfect time. New hair, new look, no chewing gum, that kind of thing....but no. It was typical Britney, full of "y'all"s and "We're country" and bad extensions and Bubble Yum and the need for a root job and new mascara (and possibly a bath) as well as a see-through shirt and pink bra and pregnant belly and denim micro mini-skirt and flipflops.

And, honestly, I was sad for her. Not just for not having the decency to kick K.Fed. to the curb, but for being seemingly overwhelmed with the responsibilities she now has as a new wife and mother....and for having the stalkerazzi catch every oops and slipup that all new wives and mothers experience....

However, my sadness slowly dissipated with every air quote that Brit used as the interview progressed. It was bad. At first, I counted the air quotes...I think I had gotten to about 6 or 7 in the first half hour, but then I gave up....as I was completely dumbfounded by her inability to answer Lauer's questions - not for avoidance's sake, but instead, apparently without the ability to formulate coherent and cogent responses...she would start off okay, but then ramble off into an oblivion. Yikes.

My suggestion for Brit - beyond the obvious wardrobe and divorce lawyer consults, of course, would be- read a few books....maybe take some classes at the local community college...something - anything! A mind is truly a terrible thing to waste - and hers seems to be moving closer and closer to the trash can.

Step it up, Brit - you can do better! If not for you, then for Sean P. and Baby #2....they certainly aren't going to get it from their father!

Insert Jimmy Buffett lyric here.

2006-06-14T09:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry, dear readers, for not posting in a while. I just got back from a wonderful vacay and am swamped at work, playing catch up. My hubby, Mr. P. and I, went to lovely southwest Florida and stayed at this fantastic resort, just north of Naples (or as my hubby called it all week - Nipples.) We had an amazing time - ate, drank, parasailed, jet skied, drank, shopped, ate, and spent a lot of time just being beach bums. Let me put it this way, I read about 7 books while there. We had to go to Barnes & Noble TWICE so I could buy more books.

It was truly heaven - me, a beach chair, the Gulf of Mexico, a cute Beach Butler bringing me pina coladas, my hubby, and my books. AWESOME.

Oh - and speaking of books - Robin, listen up - I read THE BEST book while there. It is called Stupid-------> and Contagious by Caprice Crane. Read about it here. I plan to post more about it once I have the book in front of me, but needless to say, I literally laughed out loud on more than one occasion. I think the people around me (including Mr. P.) thought I was nuts.

So, that's that. I'm back. More on books, law life, and general gabbery to come!

Bizarre Celebrity Crushes

2006-05-31T13:33:00.000-04:00

This was the topic of today's lunch conversation. It started off by way of comparing Dr. Derek Shepherd aka Dr. McDreamy of Grey's Anatomy to Matthew Fox's character on Lost (I don't watch - so I don't know his name..."Charlie" from Party of Five...that guy), and who I liked better. Of course, being that I don't watch Lost, I said McDreamy.

Then I said that I liked Dr. Gregory House better than both of them. One of my lunch companions had never seen House M.D., so he did not know who Hugh Laurie was. My other lunch companion commented that my celebrity crushes are rather odd and tend to "run the gamut." I agreed with him wholeheartedly. I have BIZARRE celebrity crushes.

Exhibit A - My top three bizarre celebrity crushes in no particular order:

(1) Richard Schiff: "Toby Zeigler," The West Wing (If you read my blog - if you have EVER read my blog- you will know that I am a huge Toby fan...it's that whole tortured soul thing. I can't help it.)

(2) Hugh Laurie: "Dr. Gregory House," House M.D. (Love him...love the scruff, love the eyes, love the biting sarcasm. Plus, its that whole tortured soul thing. I can't help it.)

(3) Alan Rickman - in most anything he has ever done: Dogma, Harry Potter series, Truly, Madly, Deeply, and most importantly, Sense & Sensibility. (I think it's the voice...or in the case of Colonel Brandon, Rickman's character in S&S, the whole tortured soul thing again....)

Honorable Mention: My favorite TV crime solvers
William Petersen: "Gil Grissom," CSI
Mandy Patinkin: "Jason Gideon," Criminal Minds
Anthony LaPaglia: "Jack Malone," Without a Trace

Alright, people - time to own up to your own bizarre celeb crushes! Let's hear 'em...the weirder, the better!!!!!

And if I see one "Brad Pitt" or "Orlando Bloom" listed, I will vomit.

(Apparently, I am not alone in this topic. Check it out!)

They named him Calamari.

2006-05-31T08:49:00.000-04:00

This could possibly be THE BEST recap ever.

Please.

If you have been watching AI this season and have a few minutes and want to wet your pants due to excessive laughter, I beg of you... go here. It is the most brilliant, randomly awesome thing that I have ever read.

*cleaning up coffee that came out of my nose*

"Headed for a Heartbreak..."

2006-05-31T08:22:00.000-04:00

Yep. I heard Winger on the radio this morning.

It's gonna be a good day....

Finale recap....

2006-05-25T08:50:00.000-04:00

Silly montage....Meatloaf (ew)...Chris with Live...Chris is still smokin' hot....just in case you didn't know....Wolfgang Puck and Kellie Pickler and some escargot (actually rather funny)...Oh, look, Melissa McGhee...another silly montage....some goofy awards...ooh, Mary J. Blige and Elliott (damn, we could see who wore the pants in that duet)...yikes, what the eff happened to Clay Aiken, he looks like Pee Wee Herman, post-masturbation scandal...I do still love that voice, though...Ruben must have had a previous engagement....Brokenote Cowboys (hee.)...Toni Braxton sexing up Taylor during a non-sexy "In the Ghetto"...a Burt Bachrach medley...oh shit, they have Fetus Covais singing "What's New, Pussycat"...awesome...love it......HOLY CRAP - IT'S PRINCE!!!!! YAY!!!

Well, was it Katharine McPhee or the silver fox, Taylor Hicks................................

SOUL PATROL!
SOUL PATROL!
SOUL PATROL
*head cocked*
WOO!

Yup. No surprise there. Thanks, American Idol, for entertaining me for six months.....now, onto "So You Think You Can Dance?" *head cocked* WOO!

Do you know what my diastolic is?????*

2006-05-19T08:42:00.000-04:00

I was going to recap's this week's American Idol, but....I just can't do it. I am sad that Elliott is gone, I am pissed at TPTB who decided it would be a good idea to plaster his name in huge white letters on the screen, and further, I seriously just coughed up a lung. Good times.

(But don't worry, dear readers who will be meeting me at one of my favorite downtown restaurants on Saturday evening...all will be well....or at least all will be doped up on Dayquil and Blue Moon!)

*For those of you that lived under a rock during the 1980's:
Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller's Day Off**
**Ferris' response: "Take some Pepto Bismol, get dressed and come on over, I'm tired of this...."
(I could go on for days with this movie.)

"Thanks, Mr. Obvious!"

2006-05-17T11:24:00.000-04:00

Katharine McPhee + "Over the Rainbow"= OUTSTANDING.

More on this later....but right now, preparation for tomorrow's pro se plaintiff deposition at one of this state's fine correctional facilities....

The West Wing RIP

2006-05-15T08:31:00.000-04:00

Last night was the series finale of The West Wing. I don't know what I expected from the end of this series, but yeah, that wasn't it. I really wished they would have spent less time with what the new president and his staff would be doing and more time on what the old guard's plans were for the future. I think that the script alluded to CJ's plans to go back to California and work for pseudo-Bill Gates and be with Danny (yay!)....they further alluded to Will's plans to run for a seat in Oregon (huh?)....and the president did discuss with Charlie his plans to attend Georgetown Law (yay again!).

Okay, so basically, what I missed in this ep was Toby. Not a surprise to anyone who knows me. I just hoped that TPTB would have made more of the Toby/Bartlet thing than just whether Jed would sign the warrant. I mean, Toby wasn't even in the episode!!!!!!! What the hell. Ronna had more face time during the ep than Toby. Boo!!!!!!

I guess I thought that they would take us forward to the dedication of the Bartlet Presidential Library as they did in the first episode of the this season - a kind of coming full circle, if you will. But no. They didn't. Instead, I listened to Keb Mo play guitar, watched Bram move in to Charlie's office and be an ass about it, and got bored as Helen Santos went on about having to attend 9 balls.

BUT - on a positive note, I loved seeing the pilot episode - what a drastic contrast from the finale. Sam and Toby and Josh and CJ mixing it up with the religious right....woo hoo. So very good. I think I will be purchasing the first few seasons on DVD!

Anyway - overall, I give the finale a B. And really, it is just b/c there was no Toby.

*sniff, sniff*

Don't Be Cruel

2006-05-12T10:47:00.000-04:00

So this week's AI was a shocker, a shocker* indeed.

The hottie has left the building.

Chris and his really awful sunglasses and sexy bald head....gone.

This week was Elvis week....and Tommy Mottola week. Huh? Beyond the fact that Mottola came off as a complete tool, the show was quite entertaining. Elvis certainly had a great book of songs - catchy melodies and great lyrics. Here's a quick breakdown:

Taylor started us off with a twitchy, Vegas lounge act version of "Jailhouse Rock." It was typical Taylor. I didn't love or hate it. His second song, "In the Ghetto," though completely politically incorrect, was really lovely. I had never heard the song before and really enjoyed it. I have always said that, when Taylor just stands still and sings, he is an amazing vocalist. He truly feels the music and has a great sense of the emotion behind the words. Loved it.

And of course, Taylor is safe - the guy has never been in the bottom group. The Soul Patrol (Woo!) is in full force.

Chris (sniff, sniff) chose "Suspicious Minds" as his first chart of the evening. Beyond the really awful sunglasses, this was a great performance. Seriously, once again, his stylist needs to be punched in the neck. As for the music, I just love this song and Chris really did it justice. His second choice, "A Little Less Conversation," was panned by Simon for being boring until the end, with redundant, low notes. Well, damn, Simon, I know you are British and all, but, dude, that is exactly how the song is written. Had he never heard the song? I thought it was really well done and loved the energy that he put into his performance.

I am shocked and saddened that he was voted off. (Apparently so was he, and Kat..and the rest of America)

Katharine...Kat, Kat, Kat. What the hell happened to you this week? A case of the nerves? I was truly disappoined. But, honestly, I think she went in at a huge disadvantage being the only girl during Elvis week. Her first song, which I wasn't sure whether was "Hound Dog" or "All Shook Up," or a medley of both, was a mess. She danced around like a mental patient and forgot the words and worst of all, was wearing the most awful grey shirt I have ever seen. Seriously. Hated it. Her second song, "Can't Help Falling in Love with You," started out nice....soft, delicate, sensitive....then got completely away from her. I agreed wholeheartedly with Simon's apple pie/whipped cream analogy...it was just too much...too many notes, too much volume...and once again a completely unattractive outfit. She really needs to just sing the song....without all of the added bullshit on top (i.e. floor writhing, bad dancing, panty showing....okay, leave the panty showing....but everything else needs to go.).

Although in the bottom two - Amazingly - she is safe for another week. Grrr, America, grrrrrr.

Finally......my boy, Elliott. Elliott rocked this week with two great performances. The first was entitled something with the word "Dream" in it ("I Have a Dream"? "Dream Weaver"? "Dream a Little Dream"? F*ck. I can't remember.) Anyway - it was awesome. I got weepy. Yes, I am retarded. I just love him and his underdog-ness. Plus, vocally? Come on, there is nothing better. And he really has gotten cuter. His stylist, unlike Chris' and Katherine's, needs a freaking raise. His second song, "Trouble," was just excellent. He showed some attitude and personality and it rocked.

Elliott - top two with Taylor!!!!!!! Woo hoo...."Come on ride the E-train, and ride it!"

I am truly psyched for next week...I haven't heard what they will be singing next week...but each will get three songs. So stay tuned, dear AI fans, for some great stuff Tuesday night!

Kelly P. OUT.
*Shocker - Kel...that one was for you.

Law Firm Malady

2006-05-11T09:28:00.000-04:00

From Explaining the Inexplicable: The Rodent's Guide to Lawyers:

Partner Paranoia: Fear of answering interoffice phone calls and venturing into hallways, rest rooms, elevators, and other places where partners lurk.

Hee hee. Luckily, I do not suffer from Partner Paranoia; however, a number of my friends do! I wonder if there is some sort of vaccination you can get for this disorder???? Beyond NOT practicing law, of course!

Okay, seriously.

2006-05-05T15:29:00.000-04:00

What the f*ck's up with Tom Cruise's hair? The dude has little spiky bangs. He looks like a douchebag.

That's all.

So. Not. Impressed.

2006-05-04T13:50:00.000-04:00

With this week's AI. Admittedly, I missed most of the first half...which was when the true crap was slung by the performers...but I was lucky enough to jump in during Taylor's performance of "Play that Funky Music, White Boy." Taylor (and his eye-gouge inducing shirt) worked the audience into a state of mass hysteria during this song, which to me (and Simon) was like watching my cousin Bruce's drunken version of "Sweet Caroline" which he sang at his wedding: slightly painful, yet completely adorable. It was alright for me, Dawg...

During the commercial, I learned from Mr. P. that Chris' performance of "Renegade" was the best of the first half, that Kat totally McButchered Phil Collins' "Against All Odds," that Paris's rendition of "Kiss" was embarrassing to watch and reminded him of how old he was, and that a Mack truck could have driven through Elliott's vibrato during "On Broadway." Hmmm...not a very good start to the evening.

On to the second half - Billboard Top Ten...but apparently, there are about 729 Billboard Top Tens, so this really wasn't much of a restriction.

Elliott started us off with "Home" by Michael Buble. Now I totally dig Michael Buble, and I am on the E-Train all the way, so I really enjoyed this. I have heard others complain that it was boring...but I don't really think Elliott's draw is his big, vibrant personality...but his voice. And his voice was lovely. Mr. P., however, said it sounded "white trash," which, to this day, I have no idea what it means...maybe someone can clue me in. I loved it...Paula loved it...Randy said some shit about a dawg with a "yo" thrown in there for good measure, and Simon snarked on the lyrics about "going home." Well. Thank you, Simon. I am sure that was quite helpful for ol' Elliott.

Next up - Katharine....on her knees....with two guys beating on box drums. She sang "Black Horse and Cherry Tree"....this whole thing was just bizarre and distracting and ever so pornographic with the writhing and sliding and shit. But luckily (or not so luckily depending on the viewer), she kept all her clothes on. Overall- Vocals: great. Staging: completely ridiculous crap.

Paris decided to take a risk and go with a Mary J. Blige song...while wearing what appears to be "I Dream of Jeannie" bottoms and a standard military issue cropped jacket. It appears that Paris was having a LITTLE too much fun with her Fashion Plates before she got ready for the show. (Did anyone else play with Fashion Plates - you know, the little plastic tiles that had different parts of outfits on them and the you put them together and put paper over it and used colored pencils to color over them to create a picture???? Just me? It might have been the Poor Man's Paper Dolls or something, I don't know...but I freakin' LOVED 'em.) Anyway, I thought that, besides the outfit and the Tootie Ramsey hair, she did an excellent job. She pulled out some tough vocals - singing a Mary J song is never easy - and had a good time with it. However, she is destined to be gone....she has spent waaay too much time with Ryan over the past couple weeks. Au revoir, Paris!

Ooh, Chris is up now...you know how I know? Flames. The set always goes up in flames whenever Chris hits the stage. Overkill? Probably. Is he still all hot and cuffed in leather purchased at Hot Topic? Certainly. Is he probably going to sing a Fuel/Nickelback/Creed song? Most definitely. Now I had never even heard this song...nor had I heard of the band. I think I have been spending too much time with my books on tape. But, regardless of my cluelessness, it was apparent to me (and the judges) that Chris' singing (or the vocalist's techinical term: screaming his mother f*cking ass off) is doing some serious damage to his cords...his veins are popping out of his neck, for God's sake! He might want to think about SINGING a song next week...that might help.

Finally, Taylor closed the show with a Beatles song. Wha?!?! I'm sorry, the effing Beatles? Now Taylor, you already did a song for the year you were born, you don't get to do another one! What Billboard chart are we talking about? Oh, the re-issue chart. Very sneaky, Taylor...and very good. I love when Taylor just sings...he really does have an amazing voice and a true sense of musicality...even though I wonder if all his synapses are firing. Seriously. Here's my imitation of Taylor: "Woo!" "Soul patrol!" "Woo!"

Vom.

Well, as predicted, Wednesday came along and it was goodbye to Paris. No one was surprised by this, except maybe Elliott who looked as though he might throw up on the spot. Next week...a trip to Graceland and a workshop with none other than......Tommy Mottola. What the f*ck does Tommy Mottola have to do with Graceland? Now if they were doing old Mariah Carey songs, it would make sense. Hopefully, next week, Ryan will connect those dots for me. Until then....

Kelly P. OUT.

"Do you hear the people sing...singing the song of angry men..."

2006-05-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

So I went to a high school production of "Les Miserables" last weekend. And beyond the fact that it was seriously the LONGEST experience of my life (yeah, the first act was an hour and a half), it was not near as les miserables as I thought it would be. Apparently, this was the watered down high school version, but I didn't see it. Mind you, I haven't seen this show since I was in high school (at the Assembly Hall on the University of Illinois campus - not really the best place to see a show), so I don't have the greatest memory of the show itself; however, it is one of my favorite CDs. So I definitely know the music and I can tell you this - all the songs were there. And all the lines were sung. Therefore, I have to give the students major kudos for pulling off such a tough production.

Originally, I was not thrilled with the prospect of sitting through a two-hour high school musical (certainly if it wasn't the really cute one on the Disney Channel). But, because Mr. P. was playing in the pit, it was either that or sit at home watching reruns of "Sell This House" with Tanya and Roger...and I knew I was going to do that on Sunday....so "Les Miz" it was! And honestly, I was quite impressed.

Dinner out with the hubby and a Broadway show...not a bad way to spend a Saturday night.

"Happy days are here again...the skies above are clear again..."

2006-04-27T08:08:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen...let the TRUE competition begin.

It was the end of the road for Ms. Kellie Pickler last night. And the peasants rejoiced (yay).

This week's theme was not, as I first reported, "Songs by Blind People." (starring the Braillettes*). Instead it was "Songs You Fall Asleep OR Have Sex To." In other words, love songs. And honestly, it was pretty damn boring. Especially compared to last week's show of songbook standards. Only two people kept the show from being a complete snooze-fest: (1) Paula Abdul, whose crazy, crack-and- tequila-induced comments were more out of control than usual- complete with sobs of joy and declarations of love, and (2) Kat McPhee, whose mommy parts were in full force......seriously, I think I saw a nipple....and a flash of panty. It was hot.

Speaking of Kat, she started off the show with "I Have Nothing," made famous by my other favorite crack-user, Whitney Houston. Okay, here's the deal with Kat and this song. I think people were really surprised by the judges reaction to Kat's performance....and Simon did later apologize to Kat for being so hard on her....however, I totally saw where they were coming from on the song. She has an amazing voice. She has phenomenal stage presence. She does. But, she has a tendency, when she sings pop, to pull an Xtina, and manipulate her voice in such a manner that is comes off as kind of forced and scream-y...which is totally different than her vocal style when she sings standards. But, overall, I thought she did an awesome job - that is a tough freakin' song and she really pulled it off.

My boy, Elliott, was next. Yep, I am on the E-Train. He performed "A Song for You" by Donny Hathaway. Okay, I admit it...I hadn't heard this song before. But I am now awfully close to buying this album. I loved this song. I loved Elliott singing this song. I loved Elliott's outfit. (Apparently, he and Seacrest are shopping at the same stores now!) I love Elliott. Period. AND SO DID PAULA. Holy shit. She bawled like a mad woman and went on and on about how Elliott was a true American Idol. Seriously, this woman is batshit crazy. However, I totally agree with what she said. He was great. Go E! (Okay, so maybe I am a little batshit crazy, too.)

After Elliott, I think I might have fallen asleep for a minute or two. Yep, that's drool on my remote. Okay, let's see.....where are we?

I think the doomed Pickler was next...and we knew her performance was doomed for a number of reasons. One of which was her absolutely retarded (I use that word clinically) conversation with Ryan about the song she chose for this evening...."Unchained Melody." Oh holy hell. Really? The world's most boring and overrated song ever. As sung by LeAnn Rimes...good Lord...Are you trying to kill me, Kellie? So she and Ryan talk about her lack of a boyfriend to "play pottery with" like Demi Moore and Patrick "What the hell happened to his career?" Swayze in Ghost. It was painful to watch. Then, David Foster (producer/guest artist/complete assbag) asked Andrea Bocelli what color hair Kellie had. "Blonde." Oh, hahaha...that is so funny, American Idol....you all are so clever with your cliche blond jokes. On to the performance....it was bad. Just awful. Coma-inducing and rather robotic. Completely uninspiring. It was so bad, that Crazy Paula couldn't even come up with anything nice to say.

Taylor, in his normal extra-tight britches and very gray hair sang "Just Once" by James Ingram. Based on David Foster's assessment, I thought I was just going to be blown away by Taylor. Yeah...notsomuch. The band was extra loud. The song was in the wrong key - it was just too low for him. And minus his trademark spaz-tacular moves and "woo! woo!"s, Taylor is just an old-looking dude in a tight suit with a decent soul voice. Aww...too bad. He even looked disappointed...throughout the entire song.

Paris decided, because she hasn't really ever felt real "love" feelings, that she would pick a song about memories. Therefore, she picked "The Way We Were" by the vocal goddess that is Barbra Streisand. This is one of my all-time very favorite means a lot to me songs, so I was rather concerned about the possible ruination of a classic ballad. And, although she hit all the right notes and technically sang it well, I just did not like it in the least. It was just too much - too much forte. Not enough piano (dynamics, not the instrument with the black and white keys)...not enough mezzo piano and mezzo forte....all very loud and shouty. This is such an emotionally mature song...once again, I think that Paris just didn't get it.

Chris closed out the show with the extra mushy, cheezy "Tell me have you ever really, really ever loved a woman" song. Vom. Seriously one of the worst songs ever written. It was what put Bryan Adams over the edge, straight into the "hack singer" category. However, Chris made it quite sexy...of course, I think Chris could make "Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore" sexy, but that's just my opinion. I really enjoyed his performance. There's no way he will be in the bottom three this week.

Fast forward to Wednesday night. Ryan split the performers into three groups of two: Paris and Kellie, Chris and Elliott, and Taylor and Katharine. He then told Chris and Elliott to sit down - they were safe (yay). He then told Taylor and Katharine that they had the top votes of the night. They were safe (yay again). That left only poor young, loud Paris, and poor stupid, annoying Pickler. Paris...once again safe. Pickler - get your shit, and get out.

Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now we gots ourselves a singin' competition! Next week, down to five. Five really great performers. If only they had announced the theme...ooh, the suspense is killing me!

Kelly P. OUT.

*Inside joke.

"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays..." or why I watched this show about priest wannabes.

2006-04-25T11:04:00.000-04:00

It's official. There is NOTHING good to watch on Monday nights. And yet, they pack Tuesday nights full of all sorts of television goodness. It is wholly unfair.

Speaking of holy, due to the lack of anything worthwhile on the tube, I decided to watch the finale of "God or the Girl," that I had DV-R'ed on Sunday night (Sundays - another night chock full of my favorite shows...). Did anyone else watch this show? It was on A&E all last week. I watched most of the eps - I think I missed two of them. It was a truly fascinating topic. The show followed four guys as they went through the discernment process to decide whether they wanted a "married life" or the life of a priest. These guys were some serious Catholics.

One guy, Joe, had been "discerning" for about 10 years. Holy crap - 10 years. Either shit or get of the pot, buddy. Yeah, I'm not really very religious, can you tell?! Anyway, his dad was on the verge of being a priest, his mother, a nun. They got married instead, and had eight kids. It was up to Joe to do the priest thing for the family. Well, sorry, Mom and Pop. That guy made the decision to not become a priest...but apparently, has made it his goal to get himself a wife. Well, good luck with that, Celibacy Boy.

The next guy, Dan..I liked Dan. He kind of had a Josh Groban-y look about him and is a youth minister at some college. He is waaaaaaaay extra Mandisa Catholic. Like shout it from the rooftops and make Kelly P. really uncomfortable Catholic. But that's cool tho' - the dude loves his God, and more power to him. Anyway, with all of that shoutin' and praisin', I really thought he was going to make the priestly plunge. But, nope - he's got a girlfriend, Amber, and is going to continue to minister to his youths (yutes?) and live with his brothers at "Fort Zion," a fraternity of sorts, full of celibate college guys eating spaghetti together.

One guy - whose name I don't even know b/c he was only featured on the show for about a night and a half, made the decision right away to stay with his girlfriend - Aly (see, somehow I got her name) - and be a teacher at a Catholic elementary school. Rock on for him. As the wife of a Catholic school administrator, I have to give it up for the parochial school teachers. They have a tough gig and don't get paid squat. But Nameless Guy will certainly be a spiritual guide for his students, and....well....he can still get some lovin' on the side. Good on him.

The last guy, Steve, was my favorite. This dude graduated from UVA and went to make craploads of money as a consultant. He bought a fat condo and a car and had a girlfriend. Then, one day, he read a pamphlet called "The Mysteries of the Black Suit and White Collar" or some shit....and gave everything up. The guy was actually CALLED. He rented out the condo, sold the car, and went to work as a campus missionary. His supervisor there decided that he was still kind of a puss about the whole priest thing so she sent him (and he agreed to it) to Guatemala to work with Father Jorge who worked with about 60 Guatemalan villages. Steve was not all about the village thing at first. He thought it was kind of dirty and smelly and no one spoke English. (Really? Huh.) But after a time there, he was sad to go. And he had made his decision. He made the announcement during mass at his family parish in Arlington, Virginia. He was going to be a priest. Gosh, I had hoped so, because it would be really freakin' awkward to get up in front of the congregation and say, "You know what? This priest stuff is cool and all, but what I really want to do is....DANCE. Or have sex with women."

So, all in all a great show - glad I invested in it a bit. I hope they find some more guys that are going through the process and continue the show. However, I am not really sure how many of those guys are out there. So, good luck, A&E, finding more interesting, young, cute guys that are thinking about the priesthood!

(After that was over, I was forced to watch "The Apprentice," something I have never watched. And now I know why. If I could, I would kick all their asses...including the Donald. What a bunch of idiots.)

Idol Chatter

2006-04-20T09:36:00.000-04:00

The pretty boy has left the building.

I am afraid that this post will contain little snark this week, as, overall, I was quite impressed with most (read: everyone but Pickler) of the performances this week. And I even loved Rod Stewart...not his performance, mind you, because I just don't care for him....especially when he does a standard like "The Way You Look Tonight." All I can hear is "Iiiiifff you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on, baby, let me knowwwww..." Vom. I thought his interaction with the Idols was fun and helpful and complimentary and his baby was really cute, too.

The show started with Chris "He's Hot" Daughtry, sans eye makeup (thank goodness) singing "What a Wonderful World." They guy proved Simon and much of the viewing world that he was more than just a Scott Stapp impersonator. He was sweet and vulnerable and gorgeous. The song showed a completely different side of him - and his voice. He can sing without growling and grimacing and looking like he might eat a newborn for breakfast. YAY!

Paris came next. She was apparently late for her gig as a flight attendant with Southwest Airlines. I didn't get it. Loved the song (she channeled Billie Holiday beautfully during her rendition of "These Foolish Things"), hated the outfit. She is certainly quite a talent on stage, even though off stage she sounds slightly retarded. (Okay, maybe the post will have a little snark. I can't help it.)

Taylor sang Sam Cooke's "You Send Me" while, once again, wearing a pair of pants that are so tight you can see his daddy parts. Eww. The first part of the song was, as Simon said, "cabaret"...which I thinks means, in his world, boring kareoke, but the spastic guy rocked it out at the end with all the crazy arm movements and weird Gumby poses. I loved it. It was truly fun to watch...slightly embarrassing, but fun all the same.

Elliott came out next, looking so cute in a little jacket with a boutonniere. It is truly amazing what the AI stylists have done with Elliott's look...before, Frodo...now, Frodo's good-looking twin. Very nice. He sang "It Had to Be You" - and it was great. The guy showed some not-really-seen-before personality and had a good time with the song. He looked like he finally deserved to be on that stage. Loved it.

Kellie Pickler. Pickler, Pickler, Pickler. She was waaaay over her head this week. She attempted to warble through "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered." She had major intonation issues, couldn't stay with the band, and was, overall, pretty freakin' sucky. Seriously, she needs to go back to Albemarle and perform on Nickel Beer Nights at Showgirls. I think she would be much more successful. These songs are just too classy for her. Honestly, it was the absolute worst performance of the night, and probably her worst of the season.

Oh holy hell. Ace, buddy...what the hell did you do to yourself? Ace looked like a cross between a 90's frat boy (seriously, my brother had that hair in the 90's while he was social chair of Alpha Tau Omega...hence - 90's frat boy hairdo) and a mobster. He slicked his hair into this little Pebbles ponytail and had on a black suit and blue tie. Yikes. He sang "That's All"...and it...wasn't that bad. He is just so damn nasal. But, I guess if I had that cute of a nose, I would sing through it too :) But yeah. He's next.

Ahhh...they saved the best for last. Kat was last with "Someone to Watch Over Me" - one of my all time favorite songs both to hear and to sing. Kat has a lovely mezzo voice, with great presence and poise and a true mastery of lyrics. You can tell that the girl has had some lessons! She was breathtaking, really. My one complaint: what what up with the close up of the girl's face??? I could count her freakin' pores! She looked beautiful from top to bottom...couldn't they have pulled the shot back just a bit!

Overall - just amazing. Great, great show.

Wednesday...cruelty at its most AI. First, having to listen to Rod Stewart...then splitting the singers in two groups and making Taylor pick which one was NOT the bottom three singers. Such a tough call, what with Chris (who has been golden up until now) in one group with Ace and Paris (both of whom have beem the bottom three)...and Katharine and Elliott (both of whom have been in the bottom three) and Kellie (who never has been, but damnit, if she shouldn't be this week). Taylor chose correctly, after faking Ryan out with a handshake to Chris, and walked to Katharine's side.

Paris...safe, Chris...safe....Ace? Not so safe. It's safe to say....he's had a bad day. ;) Goodbye, Ace - you and your beanies and nasty scar and camera f*cking and nasally George Michael Jackson sound have to go!

Next week...Andrea Bocelli. Okay. The theme..."Greatest Love Songs." Oh. Alright. What I thought in my head (b/c I am evil) was...Songs by Blind People. All Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Ronnie Milsap, and that guy that sang "Angel Eyes." Woo hoo!

Kelly P. OUT.

Killer Queen

2006-04-13T16:00:00.000-04:00

And then there were seven.

I have to agree with the other recaps I have read that said that this week's show was quite entertaining. It really was. Maybe it is because I like Queen and, thus, knew all the songs, or maybe it was b/c the makeup artists all had their application knobs turned to "Tammy Faye." I am not sure which. Either way, it was quite enjoyable.

If you hadn't heard, this week was the end of the road for the Buck-ster. And really..it was about time. He was Season 6's Scott Savol...he hung on a little too long. I am curious, however, whether he ACTUALLY had the lowest votes, or if the producers of the show thought this was the best way to get him off the show so he could face criminal charges in his home state for some bizarre twin identity switch thing. I don't know. The whole thing sounds very Sweet Valley High to me...Jessica and Elizabeth were always switching places and causing madcap hijinks. Same thing here...only it was less Bruce Patman and his rich, bullying ways, and more hit and run, resisting a public officer, giving fictitious information to a public officer, driving with a suspended license and leaving the scene of an accident. That's all.

But I again digress....It is so easy to do with this show. On with my random musings.

Buckarino started the show with "Fat Bottomed Girls." It was allllllright, I guess. Nothing special. A little bit of microphone hot potato, some rickety legs, and Queen gone country. Gosh, no wonder he went home. It certainly wasn't memorable. That's all I have for poor Bucky.

Ace Young was next with a song that I never thought I would hear on AI: "We Will Rock You." Wha?!? Are you kidding? This is the most un-Ace song imaginable. Its' all about sweaty hotties on a basketball court, not pretty boys faking English accents and adding bizarre melodic lines. The best part of Ace's portion of the show was his interaction with the remaining members of Queen. In particular, when Ace made some suggestions to the guys in the band about how to make the song more "him," one of the band members basically said that he couldn't bastardize a song that he wrote. Hee. Good for him. Anyway, the performance was just awful...he really should have gone home....again.

Here it is. The moment Robin was waiting for...."Bohemian Rhapsody" sung by....Kellie Pickler. Yep, you read it correctly. The girl who can't pronounce "calamari" or "salmon" was going to attempt a song with lyrics like "I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me. Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico!" Huh?

Actually, she didn't. She picked 90 seconds of the song that rocked out with some pretty easy lyrics. And it was okay, actually. Her hair and makeup as well as the lighting were taken straight from the video for the song and her outfit was very S&M, but that's cool, because the whole thing was kind of strange. She got through the song and I was pretty content with the whole thing..... and then she opened up her effing mouth. Simon said, "this looked bad on paper" - meaning the idea of Kellie Pickler attempting this song seemed a bad idea...and she said, "Huh? On paper??" She didn't get the phrase.

*cricket, cricket*

Whatever. I am over her and her idiocy.

Taylor was back to his spastic, Tourette's-iness with "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," which was great to listen to but absolutely wretched to watch. How wretched, you ask? Well, the dude tried to kick over a mic stand.....and missed. Like twice. I think he finally got it on the third try, but fuck, dude. You might want to rehearse that shit or something....or get a wider mic stand. Seriously. But he's safe. It was good...but he was drunk. I agree with Simon on that one.

Chris decided to be the "rebel" (riiiiiight) and picked "Innuendo," a relatively new song for Queen that they never performed live. And damn, if there wasn't a good reason for it. The song had about 2 notes and both of them weren't pretty. It just didn't work for me, Dawg. But.....he's still hot. He had an awful lot of eye makeup on, though - it was very Billie Joe Armstrong....still hot.

Katharine picked one of my ALL-TIME favorite Queen songs to perform: "Who Wants to Live Forever," from the soundtrack for the movie "Highlander." *sigh* It was freshman year in high school all over again for me...watching Highlander with my boyfriend...hated the movie, loved the boyfriend. Anyway, she freakin' killed. It was so good....a little off-pitch in some parts, but it is a tough song, and Freddie Mercury was a vocal god...so overall, she did an amazing job. And she looked gorgeous. I love her. (My mom doesn't - she thinks there is something "off" about Kat, but can't put her finger on it....can anyone help her out?)

Paris once again put on some freaky-deaky black outfit and sang "The Show Must Go On," a song written while Freddie Mercury was dying of AIDS. It is a very adult song...a very mature and emotional song...and I don't think that Paris and her fingerless gloves really got that. It was, as Simon said (hee.), "weird." Quite. I am ready for the show to go on, without RudyParis.

Once again, saving the best for last...Elliott Yamin sang "Somebody to Love," an absolutely great Queen song...and a really freakin' hard song to sing. And the dude pulled it off. I agreed with Randy when he said he was looking forward to Elliott's song b/c he has a similar sound as Freddie - the full vibrato and bright tone...and agreed further when Randy said how great he was. Because he rocked. Here's my question, though. Why does Kellie get crazy lighting and fun makeup and why does Chris get rocker lighting and fun(?) makeup and why does Taylor get crazy....well, he's just crazy, so never mind that one........and Elliott looks like he is performing in his high school auditorium? I don't get it. No lights, no real staging, certainly no "costuming." Very odd. I think it might be sabotage. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday night - they stretched a 10 minute show into an hour and it was truly painful to watch. Lots of jazz hands, lots of tears, and an eloquently described "community snot rag."" (Thank you again, Ms. Pickler, for your brilliant use of the Queen's English...stupid whore.) Bottom three: Ace (absolutely), Bucky (hell yeah), and Elliott (WHAT THE F*CK!). Ryan had each of them sing right after being told they were in the bottom three....that is just hateful, AI producers, HATEFUL, I SAY. And once again, Elliott blew everyone away.

Without much fanfare, Bucky was told he "had a bad day," and that this was the end of the road. Good riddance, I say. On to Rod effing Stewart week.

Kill me now.

Phew...

2006-04-13T09:17:00.000-04:00

Rough morning....

Dropped the Q off for his big appointment at the vet. Yep, today is the day that he is permanentaly separated from his nut. That's right. Nut. Apparently, the doc has to go spelunking for the other nut.......poor Q. It is going to be a rough day for him as well.

It certainly didn't start out great for him. B/c of the surgery, he had to fast for the the 12 hours beforehand. Well, he didn't much care for that. He likes his breakfast at 6:00, damnit! So, in retaliation for not feeding him (or just because he was really hungry), he ate a button off of Keith's dress shirt. Yep. A button. So, of course, I had to let the vet know that, although we followed his orders about fasting, if he sees a button when he is down there, he will know why.

Needless to say, after my morning, I was forced to stop by Starbucks and pick up a triple venti peppermint mocha. Forced to, I say!

**For Amanda who has had a helluva couple weeks...

2006-04-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

From Overheard in New York:

The Dream Wasn't Long Enough

Hipster girl #1: ...So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I'm around him.

Hipster girl #2: Why? 'Cause you had dream sex with him?

--L train

Overheard by: master overhear-er

**Trust me, it's funny to us!

So. Sad.

2006-04-10T13:03:00.000-04:00

Watched The West Wing last night. And cried. I miss Leo. And John Spencer. I have loved him since his days on L.A. Law. I have to think that, even if the show wasn't in a pivotal place to end, as it was when Spencer died, that it would have done so anyway. I don't think that show could survive without him and his character.

My one major problem with last night's ep, though....The president got the news that Leo died and he...went to sleep??? I don't think if my best friend, confidante, and advisor of 30 some-odd years unexpectedly dies (it was rather unexpected this time), I would be able to sleep as easily as Jed did during the show. Very weird. Maybe it was just me.

I am going to make sure I have a big box of Kleenex with me for next Sunday's episode. It's going to be pretty ugly.

*sigh*