Idol Chatter

The pretty boy has left the building.

I am afraid that this post will contain little snark this week, as, overall, I was quite impressed with most (read: everyone but Pickler) of the performances this week. And I even loved Rod Stewart...not his performance, mind you, because I just don't care for him....especially when he does a standard like "The Way You Look Tonight." All I can hear is "Iiiiifff you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on, baby, let me knowwwww..." Vom. I thought his interaction with the Idols was fun and helpful and complimentary and his baby was really cute, too.

The show started with Chris "He's Hot" Daughtry, sans eye makeup (thank goodness) singing "What a Wonderful World." They guy proved Simon and much of the viewing world that he was more than just a Scott Stapp impersonator. He was sweet and vulnerable and gorgeous. The song showed a completely different side of him - and his voice. He can sing without growling and grimacing and looking like he might eat a newborn for breakfast. YAY!

Paris came next. She was apparently late for her gig as a flight attendant with Southwest Airlines. I didn't get it. Loved the song (she channeled Billie Holiday beautfully during her rendition of "These Foolish Things"), hated the outfit. She is certainly quite a talent on stage, even though off stage she sounds slightly retarded. (Okay, maybe the post will have a little snark. I can't help it.)

Taylor sang Sam Cooke's "You Send Me" while, once again, wearing a pair of pants that are so tight you can see his daddy parts. Eww. The first part of the song was, as Simon said, "cabaret"...which I thinks means, in his world, boring kareoke, but the spastic guy rocked it out at the end with all the crazy arm movements and weird Gumby poses. I loved it. It was truly fun to watch...slightly embarrassing, but fun all the same.

Elliott came out next, looking so cute in a little jacket with a boutonniere. It is truly amazing what the AI stylists have done with Elliott's look...before, Frodo...now, Frodo's good-looking twin. Very nice. He sang "It Had to Be You" - and it was great. The guy showed some not-really-seen-before personality and had a good time with the song. He looked like he finally deserved to be on that stage. Loved it.

Kellie Pickler. Pickler, Pickler, Pickler. She was waaaay over her head this week. She attempted to warble through "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered." She had major intonation issues, couldn't stay with the band, and was, overall, pretty freakin' sucky. Seriously, she needs to go back to Albemarle and perform on Nickel Beer Nights at Showgirls. I think she would be much more successful. These songs are just too classy for her. Honestly, it was the absolute worst performance of the night, and probably her worst of the season.

Oh holy hell. Ace, buddy...what the hell did you do to yourself? Ace looked like a cross between a 90's frat boy (seriously, my brother had that hair in the 90's while he was social chair of Alpha Tau Omega...hence - 90's frat boy hairdo) and a mobster. He slicked his hair into this little Pebbles ponytail and had on a black suit and blue tie. Yikes. He sang "That's All"...and it...wasn't that bad. He is just so damn nasal. But, I guess if I had that cute of a nose, I would sing through it too :) But yeah. He's next.

Ahhh...they saved the best for last. Kat was last with "Someone to Watch Over Me" - one of my all time favorite songs both to hear and to sing. Kat has a lovely mezzo voice, with great presence and poise and a true mastery of lyrics. You can tell that the girl has had some lessons! She was breathtaking, really. My one complaint: what what up with the close up of the girl's face??? I could count her freakin' pores! She looked beautiful from top to bottom...couldn't they have pulled the shot back just a bit!

Overall - just amazing. Great, great show.

Wednesday...cruelty at its most AI. First, having to listen to Rod Stewart...then splitting the singers in two groups and making Taylor pick which one was NOT the bottom three singers. Such a tough call, what with Chris (who has been golden up until now) in one group with Ace and Paris (both of whom have beem the bottom three)...and Katharine and Elliott (both of whom have been in the bottom three) and Kellie (who never has been, but damnit, if she shouldn't be this week). Taylor chose correctly, after faking Ryan out with a handshake to Chris, and walked to Katharine's side.

Paris...safe, Chris...safe....Ace? Not so safe. It's safe to say....he's had a bad day. ;) Goodbye, Ace - you and your beanies and nasty scar and camera f*cking and nasally George Michael Jackson sound have to go!

Next week...Andrea Bocelli. Okay. The theme..."Greatest Love Songs." Oh. Alright. What I thought in my head (b/c I am evil) was...Songs by Blind People. All Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Ronnie Milsap, and that guy that sang "Angel Eyes." Woo hoo!

Kelly P. OUT.

Killer Queen

And then there were seven.

I have to agree with the other recaps I have read that said that this week's show was quite entertaining. It really was. Maybe it is because I like Queen and, thus, knew all the songs, or maybe it was b/c the makeup artists all had their application knobs turned to "Tammy Faye." I am not sure which. Either way, it was quite enjoyable.

If you hadn't heard, this week was the end of the road for the Buck-ster. And really..it was about time. He was Season 6's Scott Savol...he hung on a little too long. I am curious, however, whether he ACTUALLY had the lowest votes, or if the producers of the show thought this was the best way to get him off the show so he could face criminal charges in his home state for some bizarre twin identity switch thing. I don't know. The whole thing sounds very Sweet Valley High to me...Jessica and Elizabeth were always switching places and causing madcap hijinks. Same thing here...only it was less Bruce Patman and his rich, bullying ways, and more hit and run, resisting a public officer, giving fictitious information to a public officer, driving with a suspended license and leaving the scene of an accident. That's all.

But I again digress....It is so easy to do with this show. On with my random musings.

Buckarino started the show with "Fat Bottomed Girls." It was allllllright, I guess. Nothing special. A little bit of microphone hot potato, some rickety legs, and Queen gone country. Gosh, no wonder he went home. It certainly wasn't memorable. That's all I have for poor Bucky.

Ace Young was next with a song that I never thought I would hear on AI: "We Will Rock You." Wha?!? Are you kidding? This is the most un-Ace song imaginable. Its' all about sweaty hotties on a basketball court, not pretty boys faking English accents and adding bizarre melodic lines. The best part of Ace's portion of the show was his interaction with the remaining members of Queen. In particular, when Ace made some suggestions to the guys in the band about how to make the song more "him," one of the band members basically said that he couldn't bastardize a song that he wrote. Hee. Good for him. Anyway, the performance was just awful...he really should have gone home....again.

Here it is. The moment Robin was waiting for...."Bohemian Rhapsody" sung by....Kellie Pickler. Yep, you read it correctly. The girl who can't pronounce "calamari" or "salmon" was going to attempt a song with lyrics like "I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me. Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico!" Huh?

Actually, she didn't. She picked 90 seconds of the song that rocked out with some pretty easy lyrics. And it was okay, actually. Her hair and makeup as well as the lighting were taken straight from the video for the song and her outfit was very S&M, but that's cool, because the whole thing was kind of strange. She got through the song and I was pretty content with the whole thing..... and then she opened up her effing mouth. Simon said, "this looked bad on paper" - meaning the idea of Kellie Pickler attempting this song seemed a bad idea...and she said, "Huh? On paper??" She didn't get the phrase.

*cricket, cricket*

Whatever. I am over her and her idiocy.

Taylor was back to his spastic, Tourette's-iness with "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," which was great to listen to but absolutely wretched to watch. How wretched, you ask? Well, the dude tried to kick over a mic stand.....and missed. Like twice. I think he finally got it on the third try, but fuck, dude. You might want to rehearse that shit or something....or get a wider mic stand. Seriously. But he's safe. It was good...but he was drunk. I agree with Simon on that one.

Chris decided to be the "rebel" (riiiiiight) and picked "Innuendo," a relatively new song for Queen that they never performed live. And damn, if there wasn't a good reason for it. The song had about 2 notes and both of them weren't pretty. It just didn't work for me, Dawg. But.....he's still hot. He had an awful lot of eye makeup on, though - it was very Billie Joe Armstrong....still hot.

Katharine picked one of my ALL-TIME favorite Queen songs to perform: "Who Wants to Live Forever," from the soundtrack for the movie "Highlander." *sigh* It was freshman year in high school all over again for me...watching Highlander with my boyfriend...hated the movie, loved the boyfriend. Anyway, she freakin' killed. It was so good....a little off-pitch in some parts, but it is a tough song, and Freddie Mercury was a vocal god...so overall, she did an amazing job. And she looked gorgeous. I love her. (My mom doesn't - she thinks there is something "off" about Kat, but can't put her finger on it....can anyone help her out?)

Paris once again put on some freaky-deaky black outfit and sang "The Show Must Go On," a song written while Freddie Mercury was dying of AIDS. It is a very adult song...a very mature and emotional song...and I don't think that Paris and her fingerless gloves really got that. It was, as Simon said (hee.), "weird." Quite. I am ready for the show to go on, without RudyParis.

Once again, saving the best for last...Elliott Yamin sang "Somebody to Love," an absolutely great Queen song...and a really freakin' hard song to sing. And the dude pulled it off. I agreed with Randy when he said he was looking forward to Elliott's song b/c he has a similar sound as Freddie - the full vibrato and bright tone...and agreed further when Randy said how great he was. Because he rocked. Here's my question, though. Why does Kellie get crazy lighting and fun makeup and why does Chris get rocker lighting and fun(?) makeup and why does Taylor get crazy....well, he's just crazy, so never mind that one........and Elliott looks like he is performing in his high school auditorium? I don't get it. No lights, no real staging, certainly no "costuming." Very odd. I think it might be sabotage. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday night - they stretched a 10 minute show into an hour and it was truly painful to watch. Lots of jazz hands, lots of tears, and an eloquently described "community snot rag."" (Thank you again, Ms. Pickler, for your brilliant use of the Queen's English...stupid whore.) Bottom three: Ace (absolutely), Bucky (hell yeah), and Elliott (WHAT THE F*CK!). Ryan had each of them sing right after being told they were in the bottom three....that is just hateful, AI producers, HATEFUL, I SAY. And once again, Elliott blew everyone away.

Without much fanfare, Bucky was told he "had a bad day," and that this was the end of the road. Good riddance, I say. On to Rod effing Stewart week.

Kill me now.

Phew...

Rough morning....

Dropped the Q off for his big appointment at the vet. Yep, today is the day that he is permanentaly separated from his nut. That's right. Nut. Apparently, the doc has to go spelunking for the other nut.......poor Q. It is going to be a rough day for him as well.

It certainly didn't start out great for him. B/c of the surgery, he had to fast for the the 12 hours beforehand. Well, he didn't much care for that. He likes his breakfast at 6:00, damnit! So, in retaliation for not feeding him (or just because he was really hungry), he ate a button off of Keith's dress shirt. Yep. A button. So, of course, I had to let the vet know that, although we followed his orders about fasting, if he sees a button when he is down there, he will know why.

Needless to say, after my morning, I was forced to stop by Starbucks and pick up a triple venti peppermint mocha. Forced to, I say!

**For Amanda who has had a helluva couple weeks...

From Overheard in New York:

The Dream Wasn't Long Enough

Hipster girl #1: ...So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I'm around him.

Hipster girl #2: Why? 'Cause you had dream sex with him?

--L train

Overheard by: master overhear-er

**Trust me, it's funny to us!

So. Sad.

Watched The West Wing last night. And cried. I miss Leo. And John Spencer. I have loved him since his days on L.A. Law. I have to think that, even if the show wasn't in a pivotal place to end, as it was when Spencer died, that it would have done so anyway. I don't think that show could survive without him and his character.

My one major problem with last night's ep, though....The president got the news that Leo died and he...went to sleep??? I don't think if my best friend, confidante, and advisor of 30 some-odd years unexpectedly dies (it was rather unexpected this time), I would be able to sleep as easily as Jed did during the show. Very weird. Maybe it was just me.

I am going to make sure I have a big box of Kleenex with me for next Sunday's episode. It's going to be pretty ugly.

*sigh*

One big country cluster f*ck.

Well, I am back from Notre Dame...and all I have to say about that experience was, "Wow." My boss rocks. And so does my former civil rights prof. I have no idea how the judges are going to rule, but it could certainly go either way. They were both stellar.

Onto more important things than the rights of sex offenders...

Country music night.

Well, we all know how it came out. Mandisa and her mess of a country song left the Woolworth Stools of Love for the last time. And, although I am kind of bummed about it - because, damn, the girl can *sang* - I am not surprised. As Chuck has so eloquently stated, much of her fan base was made up of gay males who loved them some big diva singers....and she alienated the shit out of them with her lifestyle, Adam and Eve-not Adam and Steve talk. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And you know what - whoever the hell decided that she would look REALLY good in a halter style shirt with horizontal stripes? Yeah, you know who you are....shame on you!!!! No, no , no. No self-respecting "curvy" girl would wear such an outfit - and I know, as I am one. Okay, not THAT curvy ;) But still...that stylist should be fired as well.

The shocker for me (SHOCKER*) was the rest of the bottom three. Okay, I know...I might be the only one who loves Elliott, but I do so with all of my heart. He is naturally gifted and completely unassuming. And he actually did a pretty good job - even though Kenny Rogers gave him some shitty advice. And seriously, Paris? I know - some people say she "needs to go" - and that person is Charles - but I don't really think she is worse than those that were left sitting. Not at all. (ahem, Kellie Pickler, I am talking to you.)

Here's the rundown, ladies and gents...and I will try not to screw up the song titles, but honestly, for most of them, I had to look 'em up b/c, like Simon, I don't really like country.

Taylor started us of with a very twitchy and slightly crappy version of John Denver's "Country Roads, Take Me Home." Okay, I knew this song. I love this song. And Taylor ruined this song. It was garbled and out of tune. Was I the only one that thought he should have sung (sang?) "The Gambler"??? Come on. Taylor is well on his way to looking like Kenny Rogers looked at about the time Kenny sang that song....although it is really hard to remember what Kenny Rogers looked like at all looking at the bizarrre half man/half action figure that was the guest artist Tuesday night. WTF???? There's someone else that needs to be fired - that guy's plastic surgeon. Holy shit.

Next. Mandisa. Yeah, country is not really her thing. And why would she pick such a tough song. It really is tough - too many words...and really - it was a bad idea for her to pick a song by someone with the greatest abs known to womankind. I hated it. Couldn't she have done a power ballad by Martina or something? Anything?

Elliott sang "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks. Another song that I know and love. And he really did a solid job, considering this is NOT his genre. But of course, Kenny "He-Man" Rogers had to go and fuck him up by telling him to not do so many "runs" and stuff. I hate unnecessary runs as much as the next person, but Elliott uses them in such a way that they are musical and expressive, not like over the top Xtina kinds of runs. So basically....Kenny musically castrated poor Elliott. He just cut off his balls and let him hang in the wind with a microphone and a really scared look on his face. Nice job, Man-who-supposedly-is-Kenny-Rogers.

Paris sang "How Do I Live?"...oh, wait. No. That wasn't the title. Apparently, Paris thought the title was "How Do I Leeeeeeeve?" Well, sweetie, you'll leeeeve by singing a LeAnn Rimes and looking pretty pissed to have to do so. She was not comfortable up there in her John Travolta Urban Cowboy outfit. And the judges (and the audience) could tell.

Ace was up next with a whiny version of "Wind Beneath My Wings"....damn, I didn't know Bette had gone country! I later learned it was not Bette, but a Keith Urban song. (Sounded the same.) By the time he got done, I really wished it had been "Wind Beneath My Wings."
"Did you ever know that you're (breath) ashittysingerwhoisonlygettingbyonhisgoodlooksandthevotesofprepubescentgirls?"
I guess not. Sucked. Hated it again. And he has taken the camera sex up a notch...I can't take it.

Effin' Pickler was up next. And for her little pow wow with Ryan, they discussed the rumors that her dumbassy persona was an act. She swore it wasn't, and to punctuate the point, she pointed out to the viewing audience that "salmon" did in fact have an "l" in it.

Really? No shit.

I will never get those 30 seconds back, will I?

She decided to grace us with her version of Reba's "Fancy." And damnit, it was okay. But it had better been okay, right? Because SHE IS A COUNTRY SINGER. Right? Yeah, she has only been shouting that from the rooftops every week. Got it. You are a country singer. And you proved this week that, if necessary, you could pull a weekly gig at Bob's Country Bunker. Congrats.

Chris sang another Keith Urban song...and it was pretty...and boring. But it was nice to hear he can do something other than Live/Creed/Nickelback and that his non-screamy voice is quite pretty. I would like to hear it more. And yep - he's still freakin' hot.

Kat McPhee performed Faith Hill's "You Bring Out the Elvis In Me." Is that really a song???? I just thought she made up some shit as she went along because I couldn't really find a melody and I didn't much care for the lyrics, nor did I really understand them and her sexy dance just didn't cut it for me. See - that was a performance that needed to be in the bottom three. I hated it.

Finally, Bucky. Bucky "did his thing." He did. I enjoyed it. And I can't believe I just wrote that. *sigh* He did. Although I didn't realize that his song was actually a country song - I thought it was, like, Vertical Horizon or something. It was enjoyable and (gulp) he looked kinda cute in the cowboy hat...that is, with his mouth closed, of course, b/c those teeth are rough. I can only handle so much bad teeth, and Elliott almost puts me over the dentistry edge as it is. All I can say about Bucky is...well played, my boy. Well played.

Wednesday night....bottom three: Mandisa, Elliott, Paris.

That's it. I have to start voting.

Ryan sent Paris back (to the Woolworth Stools of Love) and left Mandisa and Elliott together. Okay, I am sorry to state the obvious, but wow. Mandisa made Elliott look like Frodo the Hobbit. Poor thing.

Anyway - Mandisa got the lowest number of votes and she has to pack her bags.......full of halter tops and light colored sequined jeans and horizontal stripes and homophobic slogans emblazoned on picket signs and WWJD tee shirts and Bibles.

Next week - the music of Queen. Stop laughing. I am dead serious. This is one of my all-time favorite bands - I wouldn't joke about such things. Kellie Pickler is going to perform her bastardized version of "Tie Your Mother Down" or "Radio Ga Ga" or even worse, "Bohemian Rhapsody." I am sure that Freddie Mercury is shitting his grave. So sad.

*For Chuck, Amanda, and Kel.

N.D. then A.I.

Hello, my dear Readers,

I am sure you all are expecting the latest AI rant, full of comments about the inane shit that occurred last night...Paula on the wacky weed, Simon calling Ryan out about Hatchcrest, Kenny Rogers as Madame Tussaud wax figure, Kellie Pickler declaring her love for "Hooked on Phonics"...and we haven't even gotten the performances yet.

Unfortunately, I will be unable to post on said country jamboree today....this afternoon, I am heading to Notre Dame Law School. There, tomorrow morning, my boss-slash-trial lawyer extraordinaire goes head to head with my former and (favorite) civil rights professor-slash-civil liberties guru in front of the 7th Circuit! Woo hoo!!!! Who will I root for?????

Check back tomorrow evening for the full recap and results...

I am off to make my glittery "I *heart* Ken" sign for oral arguments tomorrow!

Love, KP

"I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun."

One of the greatest stories my husband tells about his college dorm life experience was about a game that he and his buddies used to play called "trolling." The object of the game was to see who could come home from the house parties with the ugliest girl. The guy with the ugliest girl wins. Okay, I know...that doesn't sound very funny...or nice...and I am sure many of you are wondering why I married the guy...and others of you who know my husband are not at all surprised by this. Anyway...

At one point during the year, they made the decision for the game to end. Not because they thought it was disgusting or degrading to women...or to themselves for the matter. No. The game came to end because, one night, Keith's roommate brought home who the guys believed was the ultimate "troll." And sadly, the poor girl couldn't help her condition. What made her so very special? Well...

The girl had a wooden leg and a glass eye.

No shit.

A wooden leg AND a glass eye.

Holy crap. How much would that suck? And how long did it take Keith's roommate to find this chick? And who has a WOODEN leg anymore???

I say all of this as background to say... that I just read the funniest line in my client's deposition...and I quote:

Plaintiff's Lawyer: Whose discretion is it -- well first of all, is it discretionary with your office whether people receive assistance who seek assistance?
Defendant: You may need to rephrase that, please.
Plaintiff's Lawyer: Well, for example, if I come to your office and I say, "I need some help to pay my heat for December --"
Defendant: Uh-huh.
Plaintiff's Lawyer: "--and here's my heat bill and I'm unemployed. And I only have one leg --"
Defendant: Uh-huh.
Plaintiff's Lawyer: "--and I need help--"
Defendant: Uh-huh.
Plaintiff's Lawyer:--who decides whether or not I receive the help or not?

"And I only have only leg..."?????? Stop it. Why does that kind of shit crack me up?

I really need help.

Is it wrong that...

I want to get a Cingular wireless phone so I can download Elliott Yamin singing "Moody's Mood for Love" to use as my ringtone?????

I thought so.

Next thing you know I will be buying a Ford and drinking Coke...and buying Paula Abdul's greatest hits album. (Yep, she has one.)

Idol Roundup - also called "I didn't realize that the music from the last six years SUCKED so bad"

Let's get one thing straight before I start this week's rant. Katharine did not deserve to be in the bottom three. Are you effing kidding me? Even though I really am not an Xtina fan...really really not an Xtina fan...Kat had a great voice. Ooh, now that I think about it, maybe the voters just hated her outfit. I know I hated her outfit. I don't know what the hell was going on with that shit, but it was wretched. I can't even describe it in such a way for the readers to fully grasp its hideousness. Anyway...

The theme for this week was "21st Century Songs." And amazingly, there were four songs out of the ten that I had never heard. Sad, really - either for them for picking such crap songs, or me for not listening to the radio more. I am thinking it is the former....b/c my career is not on the line for listening to NPR instead of Radio Now...or Radio Saigon, or whereever the hell they got their songs!

Lisa Tucker started us off with "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson. Although it was okay (and would prove to be better than a number of other performances), the song was just too big for Lisa's voice. She is sweet and lovely and is going to be in the bottom three. There is no way around it.
(After this, the order gets a bit sketchy for me...)

Ace Young sang "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Three memorable things occurred during Ace's performance. One - I about wet my pants when he said he wanted to go more "rock" with his song choice. Rock?!?!? Was he serious? If Train is rock, then Barry Manilow is punk. Whatever, Dude. Second, he showed off a creepy scar...and Paula made a wholly inappropriate comment about it. And third? He sucked monkeys. It was just bad.

Kellie Pickler...well, I effing HATE Kellie Pickler, so I am not going to say anything other than Sara Evans is a goddess. Don't freaking sing her songs...even crappy ones like that silly soap song.

Taylor Hicks is one of my favorites, vocally - but least favorites to actually have to watch. I actually get embarrassed when he is on. Plus, I think he may have some sort of disorder...I don't know what, but he needs medication for it. The manboy is strange. Overall, a great song for him. I enjoyed him just standing there and NOT dancing. But again - where the hell did that song come from?????

Mandisa. Mandisa, Mandisa, Mandisa. Girl, I love you. I love you in all your bigness and loveliness. I think you are probably the most talented performer on that stage. But, damn, please don't proselytize. Seriously. I save religion for Sundays....not for Tuesday nights. I am Methodist...we get uncomfortable when people actually "praise the Lord" out loud. It was all shouting and sequined pants...I didn't like it. And second, and you should know this by now. Dark colors on the bottom. Light colors on the top. Thanks.

Paris Bennett performed Beyonce's "Work It Out." Now let's be clear. I love this song. I bought this album. But watching Paris perform this made me feel extremely uncomfortable...like I was breaking the law...and I was going to be placed on the sex offender registry. She did a good job, I just didn't think it was appropriate. Moving on.

Bucky Covington sang some bullshit country song that I didn't know, and couldn't figure out b/c the band was too loud and his mouth was full of tabacky or something. I don't know. He needs to go.

Katharine McPhee...see above. Xtina + Fugly shirt = Bottom three. And I love her. I do. But that was one UGLY shirt.

Chris Daughtry sang something scream-y by Creed. I knew it was only a matter of time before he busted out his very best Scott Stapp impersonation. It was loud and kind of obnoxious, and I have to agree with Simon - indulgent. No self-respecting rocker would be on American Idol. They just wouldn't. Also, it now time for Chris to sing more than one note during a song....I am kind of over him. But damn if he isn't still really really hot.

And saving the best for last...

Elliott Yamin sang the theme to "One Tree Hill." Also known as that one song by Gavin DeGraw that Bo sang last year. It was a cool arrangement (even though the judges didn't really agree with that) and Elliott sang the shit out of it. His vocals are just effortless. He has awesome intonation, and a super cool vibe about it. I love him, he is my favorite. But, why oh why, American Idol stylists, did you dress him like a homeless person??? That is the last thing Yamin needs...more ugliness.

On Wednesday, Shakira shook her bon bon. And I liked it. A lot. And Lisa, Ace, and....Katharine (What the fuck? Not Bucky? You mean I have to sit through Bucky for another week????) were in the bottom three. Sexy Seacrest sent Ace back to the Woolworth Stools of Love, and left Kat and Lisa as the bottom two. Wow. The suspense nearly made me...fall asleep. Of course Lisa was going home. And she did. And I cried. As usual.

Next week - COUNTRY. Oh boy. Remind me to put "earplugs" on my shopping list.

At my nerdy best

I enjoyed reading Robin's post about what she was reading. So much so, that I thought I would share the books which I am currently enjoying right now. I have started a bunch of books and am now just finding the time to finish:

(1) Dog Days by Ana Marie Cox.

The author is better known by her blog moniker, Wonkette. I read Wonkette while I was in law school, so I bought it out of curiosity. Cox includes a bit of funny political commentary within a tepid, barely fictionalized story of August 2004 Washington DC. The clichéd characters evoke little besides disinterest and annoyance, especially when speaking. Cox excels when parodying the Swift Boaters with the 'Citizens for Clear Heads'. Honestly, I have been slogging through this book for a month or so now, and can't seem to finish. I think she is better off sticking to the blog.

(2) Don't Get Too Comfortable : The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never- Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems by David Rakoff

This collection of essays by the author of Fraud (another favorite of mine!) is a well executed satire of our hyper-indulged, self-entitled, over-consuming society. Rakoff rails (rather articulately!) on everythin: elitist varieties of salt, twenty-day fasts, the Log Cabin Republicans, and foraging in Central Park. A great read - I highly recommend it!

(3) Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbins

Robbins' investigation into the life of sororities is an interesting one. I am a former member of a sorority. I de-activated after about a year and a half, as my major at the time, music education required a great deal of evening and weekend responsibilities, which overlapped with the sorority activities. For every sorority activity I missed, I was fined at least 20 dollars, even though my reasons for my absence were related to academics. I enjoyed the sorority experience, I just couldn't afford it. But I digress.

Because I had been exposed to sorority life,I was very fascinated to see an outsider's take on the institutions. Robbins' exploration is fun to read, but for that reason, I believe certain things are sensationalized. For example, Robbins is absolutely appalled that sorority sisters do not discuss charity at charity events. Further, in revealing sorority secrets, she shows no respect for her subject. Perhaps to those reading who are outside of the Greek system, these sorority secrets seem trivial and dumb, but they actually do mean a lot to those who are in the group. She forgets that just because it doesn't mean anything to her, does not mean it is not meaningful.

Overall, however, I enjoyed this book greatly. It is an easy read - I finished it in a couple hours. I think if you are Greek or even a GDI (I was a bit of both!), you will enjoy the stories of the four sorority sisters, as well as the statistical and anecdotal information Robbins includes in each chapter.

The sky has indeed fallen....

for Chicken Little.

Kevin "Fetus" Covais has been voted off the island...or the stage...or whatever. However you want to say it, the little dude is out of here. And not a moment too soon...as anyone who reads this blog (or Robin's, really!) knows. I couldn't deal with the blinky eyes and bad attitude a minute longer.

And, yet, why oh why did I get a little weepy when they showed his cheesy "Had a Bad Day" montage???? Geez.

"Looks like we made it...."

BARRY MANILOW WAS ON AMERICAN IDOL LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He rocks. I love him. You can call me a "Fan-ilow." I don't care. I am. I wholeheartedly admit it.

In other AI news, I effing hate Kellie Pickler with the heat of a thousand suns.

And I still love Elliott...the fact that he said he was not fond of Barry before working with him - you know what, good for him. At least he is honest. I bet 3/4 of that crew either didn't like him, or had never heard a single song by him, but they are too bullshit to admit it. Elliott kicked ass...as did Mandisa, Paris, and Katharine. Didn't care for Taylor's performance at all. And Chris? Well, I love Chris...but I didn't even recognize his version of "Walk the Line." Maybe I wasnt' supposed to. I don't know...but I didn't get it.

Bucky, Kevin, and Kellie have got to go. After that, we will have a damn good competition.

Sins of the Father

My boss and I have a bizarre relationship. Although he is brilliant and I want to be like him when I grow up, he is rather sheltered and naive about things in general. (Seriously the most naive 49 year old man I have ever met). Especially things of an unseemly nature. Which cracks me up. So I have made it my goal to "dirty" him up a bit...basically, I like to fuck with his head. He says I am "disconcerting" in that way.

Today, during one of our many random back and forths via email, I received a lesson on mortal sins....it went something like this:

Me: (regarding the concept of purgatory - don't ask) I never really understood that concept...I thought that was for dead babies. Not the same?

Him: (completely shocked by my ignorance) No. People who have not been baptized, die having committed mortal sins who have not been to confession, or otherwise are not quite worthy of Heaven go to Purgatory. That is, for those who don’t qualify to go to Hell immediately. While in Purgatory, others pray for your salvation.

Me: (regarding above-mentioned mind fuck) So which of those three do you think I am going for?

Him: (with remarkable candor) Well I have been baptized so that one is out of the picture. The mortal sin thing has me worried however!!!! As far as being unworthy for Heaven, well that is already up in the air!

Me: (about to wet my imitation leather chair) LMAO! I can see why you did so well on your LSATs...you are quite good at the process of elimination. What exactly are "mortal sins," really????? I mean, is it THAT black and white...I am much of more of a "gray" kind of gal.

Him: (again putting on his CCD/RE hat) Mortal sins include: Murder, Rape, Adultery, Abortion, etc. Serious stuff!

Me: (incredulous) Okay...yeah. That's the plan...to get you to have an abortion. Damn, you found me out.

He later admitted that he threw the whole "abortion" thing in there to piss me off as we tend to disagree on social/political issues (abortion, homosexuality, etc.).

Although it was a truly enjoyable and informative exchange, I am still trying to figure out to whom to bill my time! I think I will categorize it as "associate development"!!!!!!!

**This post is dedicated to my boss - as I described him to my BFF - the ultimate leprechaun...Boston Irish Catholic ND grad, B.S. and J.D.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!

New favorite CD that I have opened...*

Jamie Cullum "Catching Tales" - completely dig it. Jazzy, funky, genre-less. Perfect.

*I bought James Blunt's CD...but I have a weird packaging rage thing going....so I haven't actually opened the CD yet. I am sure that once I get through the reams of cellophane and sticky tabby things, I will love it too....but I just can't deal with that process right now.

In the words of Jim Gaffigan...

Hot pocket.

Counting my blessings....

So, to go along with Amanda's thoughts about things that make you feel better after a stressful day, I give you a couple small victories that occurred during a week of complete shit...

(1) I made a BFF laugh out loud while she read the list I prepared for her of all the reasons she rocked (a small sample: awesome trial lawyer - for being a plaintiff's attorney, of course, also she knew the word "roadhead" and she laughs every time I say "foghat"...yeah, long story) - yay!

(2) I had only a minor squabble with a big city civil rights plaintiff's attorney yesterday during our preliminary pre-trial conference...and I won - yay yay!

(3) Quincy didn't shit his crate yesterday - yay yay yay!

Yep - it's been that bad of a week that I rejoice when my puppy doesn't poop the crate. Good times. Things can only get better, right?

Why, America??????

Why did you vote cutie Will and crazy-Jesus freak Gedeon off in favor of Bucky "Smashed potatoes" Covington and Fetus Covais? Seriously. I mean, Will wasn't great, but he was super cute and I think he could have gotten better....and Gedeon- well, the dude is old school Sam Cooke and I really dug it. I mean, I hated it whenever he said "God Bless" all freaky-robot-Heaven's Gate-like...but still...he is really talented...and his dad just died. :(

Now the girls? I am good with that. I wasn't all sold on Kinnik - I think she was okay, but boy, were her song choices bad. And Ayla, yeah - she wasn't working for me either....and I don't really care about Melissa, other than I really think she has got the trashy thing going for her. I am all about Mandisa...and looking forward to another song by Lisa Tucker - b/c as they say on Television without Pity "I am smellin' what the Tuck is cookin'." She is excellent.

My faves - number 1 - Elliott (love him, love him, love him), number 2 - Mandisa, number 3- Chris, number 4-Taylor, number 5 - Lisa...after that, I don't really give a shit.

And Ace...what's that whole myth about handkerchiefs in your back pocket? Yeah, I 'm just sayin'. Can't deal.

More thoughts on AI - check out Heidi's thoughts on Elliott, Taylor, and the fetus.

"You know it's hard out here for a pimp..."

I watched "Hustle and Flow" last night. In doing so, I learned two important lessons about myself:

(1) I totally love Terrence Howard. Totally.

(2) I am really, really white.

There you go.

For Mandolin

"Love. Love. You know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers."

-- Kevin Dolenz, St. Elmo's Fire

Two words...*

Chris effing Daughtry.

Okay, so that's three words. So what? That dude is on FIRE.

(Of course, I still love Elliott, too!)

And seriously....Fetus Covais needs to go. I am soooo over him.

*If you don't watch AI, you might want to move along.

Fun findings while completing a discovery request...

While doing document review for one of our clients, one of the largest pet containment manufacturers and distributors in the country, I came across the following fun statistics:

93% of US pet owners are likely to risk their lives for the lives of their pets.
83% of US pet owners refer to themselves in relation to their pet as Mom or Dad.
45% of US pet owners feel their pet listens to them better than their spouse.
20% of US pet owners include their pets in their wills.
28% of dog owners own toothbrushes for their dogs.
78% of US pet owners talk to their pets in a different voice from their normal voice
62% of US pet owners celebrate pet birthdays.
52% of US pet owners remember their neighbor’s pet’s name, but not their neighbor’s name.
90% of US pet owners would not date someone who didn’t like their pets.
63% of US pet owners spend more than 2 hours of quality time with their pets every day.
At least 63% of dog owners admit to kissing their dogs.

Except for the one about the will (only b/c I haven't done one yet!), all of these are pretty accurate as to my relationship with my "kids," Bela & Quincy.

Idol Thoughts

Sorry this is late - I just watched the eps over the weekend.

Loved:
Guys -
Elliott Yamin (anyone that can rock Stevie Wonder like he did deserves serious praise...even though he does need some dental work. I don't care - he is my favorite. Hands down.)
Taylor Hicks (great voice, great personality - and love the hair)
Chris Daughtry (he actually sang "Wanted Dead or Alive" BETTER than JBJ)
Ace...Ace...Ace. (completely and utterly hot. And he sang "Father Figure"...come on. That is hot.)

Girls-
Katharine McPhee (seriously - one of the best voices on the show...plus, she is lovely and unassuming and has awesome presence)
Lisa Tucker (I cannot believe she is only 16 - wow...such poise and class...she has tremendous musicality and a great ear)
Paris Bennett (I cannot believe she is only 16 - what is going on?!?! So good - and singing Gladys Knight....really really freakin' well)
Mandisa (anyone that can outsing Nancy Wilson has my vote!)

I am thankful that the "I am too fat for this show" (not really, but he seems to think so) guy who sang the "Copacabana" mess is gone. No one has the right to butcher a Barry Manilow song like he did! Unfortunately, I didn't see the other guy sing, but I think that that Bucky whatshisface that looks like he hasn't showered in a month and a half really needs to go. I'm just sayin'. Bo Bice he is not.

And "Pick Pickler"?????? Holy shit. Stop yourself.

Oscars and Politics at Lunch

Senior Partner: Conservatives would rather watch Roy Rogers get it on with Trigger than see "Brokeback Mountain."

Heh.

I am such a nerd.

I just ordered 4 new Broadway posters to frame and hang in my office. I doubt that is what the partnership meant when they told me to hang a picture or two on my walls...yep, it is going to be kickass - I have "Mamma Mia" and "Wicked" already, and will soon have "The Exonerated," "Chicago," "Hairspray," and "Fiddler on the Roof." Hey, "Chicago" and "The Exonerated" are law-related, right?

In other news, I visited a jail yesterday (different from the "prison" I visited a few weeks ago - a whole other story involving maximum security units and shuttle buses full of shackled inmates) that was so completely overcrowded and sad. But as I stood in Cellblock C and got ogled by all of the offenders, I realized that (beyond the ogling, of course - eww.) I absolutely freakin' LOVE my job! I get to dabble in criminal law without actually being a criminal lawyer. I get to actually use the stuff I learned in Falk's Civil Rights class. AND I get to interview cute police officers. Sweet.

Boheme C'est La Vie

Pray for Vivi and her safe return!

A couple things...

This story makes me so very sad, especially after I saw Vivi on the news this morning. She looks just like my Quincy - with the same coloring and everything. I so hope they find her. Quincy, Bela, and I are sending plenty of whippet prayers to Vivi's family in the hopes that she comes back safe and sound.
***********************************
Did anyone else just BAWL like a small child through the entire "(As We Know It)" episode of"Grey's Anatomy" this week??? Holy snotty nose, Batman! Between the bomb squad guy, and the shower scene, and O'Malley and Bailey (William George! Awwww...), I was an absolute mess. Hats off to that show - great, great television.
***********************************
Really looking forward to this season's American Idol. Early favorites: Lisa Tucker, the 16 year old singer, who, if I understood correctly, had performed in "The Lion King,"; Taylor Hicks, the 20-something prematurely gray-haired guy with Joe Cocker vibe; and Ace....something. I don't know what his last name is...does he even have a last name? He was so gosh darn gorgeous, I didn't pay attention to his name!

Short Gilmore Girls Rant

WTF?!?!?!?

Why has Luke turned into such a crotchety, grumpy asshole? Does he not ever leave Stars Hollow? He acts like he has never traveled anywhere ever. He brought a freakin' knife in case he needed to gut fish, oh yeah, and some just-add-water spaghetti, in case he had to fend for himself.....in Martha's freakin' Vineyard. The writers have turned him into a bumbling idiot.

And Lorelai has now tipped the scales on the Passive Aggressive Meter...oh so annoying.

As of right now (and I know it will change - I've read the spoilers), my favorite character on this damn show is Logan. And I hate Logan.

So disappointed right now.

Valentine's Day...

Has anyone seen that Kmart commercial where the husband, dressed in heart boxer shorts and carrying a bow & arrow, shoots his wife in her pink-terry covered ass while she is unloading the dishwasher?

Yep. Normally, that is Mr. P's modus operandi when it comes to Valentine's Day. If he had a toy bow and arrow, he would completely shoot me in the butt while I unloaded the dishwasher. In fact, he saw the commercial last night and laughed hysterically - then rewound it and watched it again.

This year, though - he gave me diamond earrings....yup, he rocks. I heart him.

What did I get him? Ummm....an air purifier. Hey, it's what he wanted! He has allergies...I told him that I gave him "the gift of life"!!!!

From actual court records...

Lawyer: You admitted that you've had sex with some of the people there. Did you have sex with Debbie?

Witness: No

Lawyer: You never had any sex with her? Have you ever had oral sex with her?

Witness: No

Lawyer: You did not say down in Coffeyville that you told everybody you had oral sex with Debbie?

Witness: With Debbie? No, man, you don't admit that. no. Even if you did, you wouldn't admit it. No, sir. No, sir. On the record, no. No, sir.

Heh.

It's a great day when....

you settle a case.

Especially when, at the start of mediation, the plaintiff wants $53,000 for her soft tissue injuries and pain & suffering (even though she was in two - count 'em two - previous auto accidents the month prior), and by the end of the mediation, she has accepted $5000 and mediation costs.

Plus, mediation is fun because you get to play with little wooden games and eat free snacks and M&M's and drink all the coffee you want. Oh, and you can bill for mileage!

It's the little things, people.

The big 2-9.

On Sunday, I celebrated my birthday in very low-key fashion. Because it was also Super Bowl Sunday, the game took priority - which is fine with me. Mr. P. and I made tons of yummy football foods (sausage cheese dip, little smokies) and a big vat of chili in preparation for the game. Mentor/partner and his family came over to watch the game with us. A good time was had by all.

Of course, before the game, we had major doggie drama. The Q is just getting over a major case of worms (yuk), so we were dealing with that. And to make things worse, Bela got into some weeds in our backyard and had an allergic reaction. Her face swelled up and she looked like a sharpei. Poor baby. We gave her some Benadryl and called the emergency vet. They said to keep an eye on her and if we didn't see a difference within the next 40 minutes, to take her in to the vet. *sigh* Luckily, the swelling went down and she fell asleep, so we were good to go.

I am happy for the Steelers - especially Jerome Bettis. However, overall, I was ill-impressed...with the game, the commercials (other than the cute little "streaker" commercial), and most certainly, with the half-time show. The sound was crap, the vocals were crap, it was just...crap. So there you go.

Next year, the big 3-0. Wow.

On a different note, go over and wish my girl, Amanda, a happy birthday!

"Bright light city, gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire..."

So...Vegas?

First things first. Boring stuff. I attended a seminar on civil rights - in Lake Las Vegas. Very chichi. Very pinky up kind of place. The seminar was packed with defense attorneys, judges, law professors, and the random plaintiff's attorney. I got to watch a fellow defense attorney get taser-ed (tased? ??) during a session on the safety and technology of less lethal force. (IT'S TASER TIME!**) Learned a lot and came back with some great materials.

On to the fun stuff...

Vegas was a good time. Ate well (Delmonico is fab - steak and syrah, yum! Garduno's at the Palms - one of the best margaritas ever). Drank very well. (See Garduno's!) Played "Jackpot Party" until my fingers bled. Watched my mentor and partner at the firm get his ass grabbed by some scantily dressed chick at the Voodoo Lounge. At the same place, had a guy ask me what I was doin' in Vegas. I told him I was an attorney in town attending a seminar. He said, "Yeah, me too...I'm an attorney. An attorney of love." You can't make this shit up.

Let's see. What else? Watched said partner/mentor gamble some serious cash at the craps table. Some foreigner took a picture of my freakishly long tongue. (I swear I am Gene Simmons' illegitimate daughter.) I ordered a "Blue Lizard" at a margarita bar near"The Sirens of TI" show - the Hispanic bartender then kindly informed me that he had a "brown lizard" for me. Nice. He further informed me that he had an extra toothbrush and toothpaste at his place that I could use. Also classy.

All in all - an excellent time was had by all. But I am still making up for the lack of sleep! And the sounds of sirens and bells and thumping bass are still ringing in my head.

VIVA LAS VEGAS, baby!


**For Mandolin.

Secret Message to Kelly & Mandolin

- I miss you like crazy-cakes.
- I currently have contract pits.
- Was his name McCartney or McKenzie or what? And how were his "faces"?

A Day in the Life of a New Lawyer

First off, Vegas was great...and I will write more about it later. But I don't have much time, so I thought I would share a page from the day-to-day "Lawyers" calendar that my mom got me for my birthday (Super Bowl Sunday, thankyouverymuch):

From Actual Court Records

Judge: Please begin.

Counsel: Thank you. (to witness) Miss, while you have, if you do have--you still--oh, you don't.

Judge: That was a great start, Counsel.


Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

Random Items for Discussion...

- I went to see "Brokeback Mountain" on Saturday with the other female attorney in my office. The best two words to describe it are "beautiful" and "heartbreaking." Beautiful = the scenery, the actors (yum.), and the love affair. Heartbreaking = the story of two people who had a love affair lasting over twenty years, but because of hatred and close-mindedness, were forced to live apart. I will not wax poetic about this movie, because, well, I don't write like that. But, needless to say, it was excellent and I recommend it to everyone.

- I am leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow with said female attorney who is a partner at the firm and practice in the same area as I do, as well as my mentor, the attorney who forever is torturing Amanda with his brilliant legal arguments. We are attending a conference at the Ritz-Carlton in Lake Las Vegas. The topic is Civil Rights & Governmental Liability - from a defense perspective - which is goodb b/c about 85 percent of practice consists section 1983 claims against the police department here in town. The seminar is Thursday and Friday, but we are staying through Sunday....YAY! I have never been to Vegas...any suggestions of what to do? We are going to Delmonico's (Emeril's steakhouse) one night for dinner, we are going to see "Mamma Mia" another night...should be a good time. So, if I am not blogging this week, you will know why.

- A wallpaper and paint crew is coming in tomorrow to remove the wallpaper and paint my office. I cannot tell you how excited I am about it. I am having it painted a lovely shade of gold. I will finally then be able to put up my certificates and diplomas and such!

- Quincy is doing well in his new home. His big sister, Bela, has decided he can stay and has taken to torturing him on a daily basis. She loves having a playmate. However, on more than one occasion this week I have made the comment that the reason Quincy has been allowed to live is because he is cute. He recently chewed up my new glasses...300 dollars down the crapper....almost as much as the dog. Oh, and he has worse gas than my husband...and that is saying a lot. I'm just sayin'.

I will fill you in on my Vegas adventures when I return!

Fours...

Thanks to Amanda for the tag, b/c I (like Robin) enjoy such things...
Oh, and sorry, H - for my mad "no one loves me" rant. :)

Four Jobs You've Had
(1) Singer/Dancer - Decatur Park Singers
I spent the summer after my freshman year in college singing and dancing my way through the Midwest. I was part of a 16 member perfoming group with full backup band. We traveled throughout Illinois and Missouri putting on a one to two hour shows at the local fairs and festivals in order to raise money for the Decatur Park District. Most shows were outside in the blistering sun of the day, or the terrible humidity of the evening. I swallowed about 300 bugs that summer. I lost about 30 pounds. I met amazing and interesting musicians from all over the country. It was probably one of the best summers of my life.

(2) Camp Counselor- "Camp I Can"/ Music Instructor - "Summer Arts Jamboree"
As part of the Decatur Park Singers program, all of the performers were required to have summer jobs through the Park District. Some were vocal directors and choreographers for elementary school-age performing groups (Best of Summer Stock), some were on crew and one girl was on laundry duty (she washed all our costumes). Another singer and I were assigned to Camp I Can and Summer Arts Jamboree. Camp I Can was a day camp for kids with special needs, aged 5-12. We did swimming and water safety, arts & crafts, and hippotherapy (horseback riding). We had kids with autism, Down's syndrome, and other afflictions. It was a difficult job, but extremely rewarding in the end. The second half of the summer, I taught music and dance at Summer Arts Jamboree, a day camp for kids with special needs, aged 13-21. There, the kids did art projects, took dance and music classes. This job proved to be much more difficult b/c the kids were required to perform on the last day of the Jamboree. That meant we had to find something that these kids could do. I had one kid sing "Crocodile Rock" while wearing a crocodile costume. One of my favorites, Ty, sang "I just can't wait to be king" from Lion King, while wearing the cutest lion suit ever. It took an enormous amount of effort to make accomodations for those kids who were wheelchair bound, or unable to communicate at all. I was probably at my most creative that summer!

(3) Barista - MT Cup
I worked at the MT Cup coffee cart at Ball Memorial Hospital while in college at Ball State. I loved working there b/c I got to know many of the doctors and their very particular orders. Many days I felt more like a bartender than a coffee cart girl - those persons who had relatives and friends in the hospital would come and talk to me about their lives while ordering up a latte or cappucino. It was certainly an interesting experience. And to this day, I still know how to make a "Milky Way."

(4) Sixth Grade Teacher
Well, that kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? After all, we have all been in sixth grade. I taught at a small, poor, rural elementary school in Delaware County. I loved my students. For the most part, they were a complete joy. They were at the age when they were just starting to come into who they were as people - they were sensitive and smart and funny as hell. I miss it to this day. But I certainly don't miss the paycheck!

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
This is another tough one, as I am a movie junkie - and love to watch them over and over again!
So I will pick four groups of movies!
(1) John Hughes movies - especially "Breakfast Club" and "Pretty in Pink"
(2) Jane Austen movie adaptations - especially "Pride & Prejudice" (Colin Firth, the true Mr. Darcy) and "Sense & Sensibility"
(3) Films where Vince Vaughn cracks me up (i.e. "Dodgeball" & "Anchorman")
(4) Legal thrillers ("A Few Good Men," "The Firm" & "Pelican Brief")

Four Places You've Lived
(1) Collinsville, Illinois
(2) Mount Zion, Illinois
(3) Muncie, Indiana
(4) Fort Wayne, Indiana
- I am a Midwestern girl!

Four TV Shows You Like to Watch
(1) House
(2) Gilmore Girls
(3) Criminal Minds
(4) City Confidential

Four Places You've Been on Vacation
(1) Hong Kong
(2) Grand Cayman
(3) Disney World - a lot...three times in the past year.
(4) the Bahamas

Four Websites You Visit Daily
(1) My favorite blogs
(2) Television Without Pity
(3) Google
(4) Westlaw (I am a nerd.)

Four of Your Favorite Foods
(1) Mashed Potatoes
(2) Anything Italian
(3) Bread and Butter (real butter)
(4) Wine (as Amanda said, it is a food....sort of)

Four Places You'd Rather Be
(1) Home under a blanket reading a book.
(2) At my parents' house.
(3) On a cruise.
(4) Back in Hong Kong, at my in-laws' flat.

Four Albums You Can't Live Without
(1) Barenaked Ladies "Rock Spectacle"
(2) John Mayer "Room for Squares" (It got me through law school)
(3) Bela Fleck & the Flecktones "Live at the Quick" (It got me through the bar!)
(4) It is a three way tie....either Alison Krauss & Union Station's Live Album, "Wicked the Musical," or any compilation album of James Taylor's.

Four People to Tag
...yeah, I got nothin'. They've all been tagged!

A few items of TV note....

(1) I watched "Dancing with the Stars" last night. I think I am in love with that Keebler wrestler chick ...seriously. Her legs alone are taller than me...and what grace! I was impressed.

(2) I DV-R'ed the Golden Globes and just watched them. Now, I know you are thinking, what the hell? The results have already been published, why the hell would you want to watch them now? Well, duh. Fast-forward capabilities. No one cares about "Best Foreign Film" or who is this year's "Miss Golden Globes." I wanted to see the cluster f*ck acceptance speeches (Sandra Oh - god love her.), the tears-inspiring acceptance speeches (S. Epatha Merkerson and Felicity Huffman), and the rather clever acceptance speeches (Steve Carell and Hugh Laurie - two of my favorite guys from two of my favorite shows). Oh yeah, and I wanted to see Drew Barrymore's dress.

(Is there a lesbian theme going here or what?)

(3) Speaking of Sandra Oh - I have just recently began watching "Grey's Anatomy." What a great show! Clever, interesting, and, well, Patrick Dempsey is fab. But does anyone else think that that Ellen Pompeo chick (the "Grey" in Grey's Anatomy) looks like a bizarro Renee Zellweger. Very odd, indeed.

(4) I am hating the whole "April" storyline on "Gilmore Girls" - either get married or don't, Luke & Lorelai, I am getting bored. Where's Christopher when I need him? But does anyone else think that Sherilyn Fenn looks like a bizarro Lauren Graham? Also, quite odd.

(5) Finally, I DV-R'ed "Love Monkey" with Tom Cavanagh and Jason Priestley, but have not had a chance to watch it yet. Is it worth my time and my DV-R space?????

Goodbye, Noah and Samantha...

...and Professor Cooper, who announced his retirement from the blogging world.

As Kelly said, Professor Cooper introduced our first year Civ Pro class to the concept of blogging and many of us have been thoroughly hooked since that day!

Best wishes, Professor!

Meet Bela's new baby brother....

Quincy "Bones" P.

Quincy, or "the Q," as Mr. P. calls him, is a 16 pound three month old whippet puppy. He enjoys chewing, napping, and annoying the hell out of his big sister, Bela. We are quite excited that he is part of our household - although, right now, it feels a bit like we live in a zoo!

(For the origins of his names, see the below post about the campy and fabulous 70's TV show.)

A random email from my dear friend J

Subject line: high school dance music

I wonder if they play romantic tunes like "Only a Woman" from the Team America soundtrack (a holiday gift I got this year)?


I like rain, I like ham
I like you
You're around, you're right here
So you'll do.

Yep, he's nuts.

(Amanda, this is from the same guy who said "What else is there to do in Sandusky but smoke crack and ride rides?" Truer words were never spoken.)

Oh yeah...

Check out the new Dave Attell quote....

You all know what he is talking about.

Especially you.

No, not him.

You.

A Million Little Pieces of Bullsh*t

Amanda has a really good post about James Frey's supposed memoir, A Million Little Pieces. I have not read the book yet, but find her post to be brilliantly written and expresses much of the same thoughts that I have regarding the topic.

I still want to read the book - but I am sure that the book will certainly have a distinctively different impact on me now that I know what is most likely the truth versus what is wildly exaggerated half-truths and outright lies.

Incognito.

A big apology to my three readers. Things have been a bit busy here at my end. The other female (yep, there were only two female associates...and one female partner, in a firm of 30.... good times) and I have been stuck with the many messes she has left behind...one of them being a potential motion to compel if I don't get some discovery to plaintiff's counsel this month (yeah, they sent it to her in May...MAY, people!). Grrrrrrrr.

So, besides work, my time has been consumed with deciding on what breed of dog to get to keep Bela company....so far I have it narrowed down to a miniature schnauzer, a Labradoodle, or a whippet. The last one comes at the suggestion of my boss who has one of his own and loves it. Plus, it meets all my criteria: no barking, no shedding, low maintenance and kind of a couch potato...and that is the whippet. So we will see. The only problem with the whippet that I can see so far is that, every time I say the breed name, I sing the silly "Whip It!" song. Maybe I will name the dog "Devo." Hmmmmm....

"Gentlemen, what you are about to witness is the most fascinating sphere of police work - the world of Forensic Medicine..."

This weekend I went to Best Buy and bought Seasons 1 & 2 of Quincy M.E. on DVD.

I have almost watched all 16 episodes. My favorite so far is the episode where Quincy jump-starts a guy's heart with an extension cord and some Crisco.

I love Jack Klugman, with or without his voice box.

Seriously.

Stop laughing.

Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

I am currently recovering from the most painful work-related injury ever.

No, not an effing paper cut.

I was eating a miniature Twix bar while talking to some colleagues on my way to the elevator to go to lunch (Yes, I eat candy BEFORE lunch. Don't judge me.). And the Twix "went down the wrong pipe" and I began choking. Well, kind of like Coke when it goes up and out your nose - the Twix traveled up in the same direction. Yep. I had freakin' Twix in my sinus cavity.

Damn you - you yummy cookie treat. Seriously the most painful thing ever.

I will never walk, talk, and eat mini Twix bars at the same time ever again.

Now the full size pack? Well, that is another story.

"The 'Ho' Bag"**

Spent the holiday weekend at my parents' house in Central Illinois (or Illitucky as my friend J calls it!)...all in all, it was an excellent time. Of course, 2 minutes into the family Christmas party (aka The Country Christmas Jamboree), my brother was being set up with my aunt's friend's daughter and I was being grilled on the life of a lawyer. But that is typical of my family, God love 'em. We ate a ton of food, sang Christmas carols, and did our gift exchange. This could be the first year where both Mr. P and I got kick ass Christmas gifts in the exchange. Mr. P got a basket full of beer and The 40 Year Old Virgin on DVD (if you haven't seen it - go out NOW and rent it - hilarious!) and I received a beautful beaded purse.

I, of course, drank too much wine slush and ended up with a serious headache the next morning, but that is okay. There's no headache that a breakfast casserole can't fix. The fam opened their gifts and let me just say that my mom ROCKS! She gave me the yummy Philosophy Gingerbread Man set from Sephora, and a cashmere sweater, and a black pashmina, and Sideways on DVD and some books and all sorts of other stuff. Yep, she's the coolest.

Another bright spot in my weekend was getting to see my best friend from HS, Sarah. She was the maid of honor in my wedding. The great thing about S and I is that, we can go for months and months w/o talking and yet, when we get together - it is like no time passed, and we are still performing in the Decatur Young Park Singers and flirting with Millikin guys and eating chicken fingers at Perkins at midnight. It is a truly great feeling. And what is even better is that she is back in town after living on the east coast doing a nannying gig...and that her new job is going to bring her to my town every couple of months! YAY!!!!

Overall - excellent weekend...wish I could have spent a little more time with my mom, but, now that she is retired, I am sure we will be able to find more time to be together!

I hope everyone else had a great holiday weekend :)

**At our gift exchange, one of the gifts was wrapped in an extremely large bag that said "Ho Ho Ho" all over it...my very classy husband (along with my very classy uncles) began calling it the "Ho Bag" - as in "Hey, Holly- pick the Ho bag...." Nice.

The Bela-monster

Thanks to all who left their thoughts and prayers - both here on the blog and over email. They were much appreciated.

As for Bela, I think she is going to be okay. She wanders around the house every once in awhile hoping to find Lucy so she can lick Lucy's face and make her crazy. When she gets let out, Bela always looks back to see if her old friend is coming outside after her. But she is eating well and sleeping well and has not destroyed any furniture. These were our main concerns. I have, of course, spoiled her completely rotten (even more rotten than before, if that is possible). She received a new toy and new bones to chew. It is certainly Christmas for Bela.

Of course, I feel terribly guilty b/c she is going to the kennel for the next three days while we are out of town, but that cannot be avoided.

Boy, does the doggy mom guilt ever end???!!!

We'll miss you, my dear friend.

As some of you readers may know, I am a dog lover. Mr. P & I are the proud owners of two wonderful and sweet pooches: a black Lab named Bela, age 4, and our "old woman," Lucy, a 14 year old Brittany spaniel that we inherited from some friends the year after we married. Well, sadly, after much discussion and many tears, yesterday, Mr. P. took Lucy to the vet where we had her put to sleep. I know this is such a sad thing to discuss, but this is my blog and I need to write about it, if only just to get it out. Lucy was really struggling mentally. Both the vet and we believe that Lucy had "doggy dementia" - she did not wish to be petted anymore, nor did she want to be around anyone, including Bela. She would pace the house for hours on end - at lease 60 to 70 times at a time. She would cry constantly, as if in pain. Finally, toward the end, she was becoming incontinent. We believed that, although extremely painful for all involved, that she didn't deserve to live in such a condition. So, luckily, Mr. P, being the wonderful husband that he is, took her to the vet. He said it was the hardest thing that he has ever had to do in his life. I can believe that.

The worst part about it was that, when I got home last night, Lucy's stocking, with her name in gold glitter, was still hanging on the mantle next to Bela's. It completely broke my heart. It is all I can right now not to break down and cry.

I love you, Lucy. You were the kindest, sweetest, smartest girl. We will all miss you.

But, I think Bela will, most of all.

This week...

ResearchDiscoveryMemo-AMAZON.COM-ResearchInitialDisclosuresPreliminaryPre-TrialConference - SEPHORA.COM-DiscoveryResponsesResearch-BESTBUY.COM-12(b)(6)MotionResearchDiscovery - AMAZON.COM...

(repeat)

It is the week before Christmas. Can you tell I am having a hard time concentrating?

On a great note, I got the greatest gift from my assistant - the most beautiful coffee mug from Starbucks (she makes fun of my bulky green travel mug), freshly ground "Christmas Blend" Starbucks coffee, chocolates, and the Starbucks cocoa trio. Yep - she loves me.

Goodbye, Leo McGarry.**

I am so very sad. John Spencer was truly one of the great character actors of our time.

This is a great loss, both to "The West Wing" and to television itself.

**Source: Kel & Robin

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Okay, so last night I got this movie on On-Demand, thinking it would be a fun light movie to watch while I was by myself. (Mr. P. had to supervise a basketball game). Yeah, well, a freaking box of Kleenex later, I realized I was wrong. I wholeheartedly admit that I really liked the movie....I love Bradley Whitford and Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel (even though her acting sometimes leave something to be desired) and I love that chick from "Real Women Have Curves," but damn. I boo-hooed through the whole thing. There is some self-esteem drama, some daddy issues, a dead kid...and those freakin' pants....I want a pair of those pants.

So - if you need a good cry - go with "The Sisterhood..."

Shout out to my mom!

Yesterday, my mom retired from her job at Illinois Power Company. She had worked there for over 30 years. Although she is a bit sad, I think she is really looking forward to this next part of her life....more time for reading, crafting, and making of lists of things for my poor dad to do when he gets home from work!

CONGRATS, MOMMY!

"House-isms" (or "Why I freaking love this show!")

In honor of Hugh Laurie's Golden Globe nom, I give you some of my favorite quotes from the last couple episodes of House:

Foreman: “She a regular at Off Track Betting. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.”
House: “I was there and I have a nine-to...-three job.”
- Deception

House: “What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.”
- Deception

Stacy: “Where’s Chase?”
House: “He’s too busy to service you until after work. I’ve got a few minutes, though. Feel free to say something like, ‘What’ll we do with the time left over?’”
- The Mistake

House: “You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a… I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor.”
- Spin

House: “You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…....I can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much 'tang it’s crazy.”
- TB Or Not TB

House: “Union rules. I can’t check out this guy’s seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.”
- Autopsy

You decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man's overbite...

Saturday night was our firm's "holiday gathering" held at one of the local country clubs. It almost was not to be because the bank was prepared to foreclose on the place, but some members (some very wealthy members) stepped in and paid off the note. So luckily, when Mr. P and I arrived, the doors were not locked. This was a definite plus!

We sat with a great group of attorneys and their spouses at dinner, including my "mentor" who is, in a word, HI-larious. There was an open bar, and much of the group was getting pretty schnockered. I got my scherve on on the dance floor...and I had only consumed a few glasses of wine. The DJ played everything from "Jailhouse Rock" to "Baby Got Back"...and I jitterbugged with one of the senior partners, who Mr. P. dubbed "Daddy Warbucks" because of his sharp tux and bald head! The best part was watching the head of the litigation section - and the person I would consider my boss - dancing to "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. Fabulous. Completely priceless.

No one put a lampshade on their head or photocopied their ass, but, needless to say, everyone had a really good time!

He's making a list and checkin' it twice...

From: http://friday.criminalgrace.com/


Checking it Twice
1. Did you make a wish list for Santa when you were a kid? Do you still make a list?

Of course I made a list...what kid didn't? I also circled things in the Sears catalog. I still am required by my mother to make a Christmas list...both for me and for my husband who refuses to tell her what he would want b/c, in his words, "I don't need anything!" But that does not matter to my mom who loves buying gifts and wants to make sure everyone gets exactly what they want! My brother and I have taken to making "Wish Lists" on amazon.com. That makes all involved quite happy -my mom doesn't have to go out and fight traffic and snow to shop, and Kyle and I end up with the books and DVDs that we want!

2. What would you most like to find under the tree this year?

Gosh, I don't really know. Books, probably - there are a bunch of great new books out by some of my favorite authors - David Baldacci, David Rakoff, and, yes, James Patterson. I just love that Alex Cross...and it helps that, in my mind, that character IS Morgan Freeman :) Plus, I really want Seasons 1 & 2 of Quincy M.E. on DVD. I love old people solving murders!

3. What is the best present you've ever received? Why?

My husband got me a great Coach purse a couple years ago that I absolutely love. I don't think that is the BEST present, but it was awfully nice. Let's see....if we aren't talking about Christmas, the best present I have ever received was for law school graduation. My mom gave me her ring - this lovely silver and diamond ring. It was the first piece of jewelry she ever bought for herself. She saved up for it with the money she earned in her first job out of high school. I loved the ring and when I was a kid, I used to try it on all the time, thinking I was the most glamorous person in the world. She gave it to me and wrote me the most moving letter to go with it. It truly was the best present I have ever received.

4. What is the worst present you've ever received? Why?

Worst present...worst present. It would probably have to be something that I ended up with during last year's family gift game. We don't have a name for it - but I saw on The Office this week that some people call it "Yankee Swap" or "White Elephant." I somehow ended up with the most awful pillow I have ever seen. It was just some random throw pillow that looked like someone grabbed it off their couch and threw it in a gift bag on their way out the door. It was bad. Second only to the pillow was a gift I got from my husband for Valentine's Day one year - early in our relationship. It is a long story, but it ends up with me opening a Marsh bag to find hair clips and rice cakes. Needless to say, we still reminisce on that gif-giving debacle.

5. Describe your own holiday gift-giving strategy. Do you use a wish list?

I make lists. I love lists - I am like my mother in that way. I spend a lot of time thinkging about what people have mentioned to me over the year - what they are interested in, what things they like...and then I go from there. I love picking out gifts. It is my favorite thing in the world. For some that is not a problem...for others, who already have everything in the world - it is quite difficult. For my BFF Amanda, gift giving is easy (the girl loves anything pink and sparkly and lipsticky and Oprah)...for my dad, not so much. This year I employed my brother's Amazon wish list and used my mom as a spy to figure out what to get for my dad.

Of course, I haven't figured out what to get Mr. P. Maybe a hair clip and some rice cakes.

MST3K Brilliance...

"I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of ass..."

--Crow

Amen.

Weekend Potpourri for $200, Alex.

Just a couple thoughts on the weekend:

- Went with glasses. But very hip, lightweight, almost nonexistent rimless glasses. I dig 'em...and I don't have to worry about cleaning and ripping and being stuck with the wrectched SJR red rims of my youth.

- Did some Christmas shopping on Saturday with the lone female partner here at the firm...and the only female attorney here whose company I enjoy...was a good time. Cracker Barrel breakfast, followed by outlet mall shopping, followed by regular mall shopping...which then required a beer or two at the Friday's located in the mall!!!! I then went on by myself to the mall on my side of town, to find a freakin' dress for our firm Christmas party. I went to Von Maur and dropped waaaaay too much money on a dress. I now have dress guilt. I may return it. I just think it is wrong that the little sweater thing i bought to go over the dress costs almost the same amount as the dress itself. I may end up wearing the dress I wore to the Law School Prom last year. I don't know. Grrrr. I hate being so indecisive.

- Went to the Dome on Sunday to watch the Colts completely kick the crap out of Steve McNair and the Tennessee Titans. Had a great time...even though one beer cost almost seven bucks. Something is seriously wrong with that!

- Finally got all our Christmas decorations up, as well as our tree. We went with the 9 foot, prelit, "slim" artificial tree. Love it, absolutely love it. My house looks quite festive. OH - and we added a bunch more pretty lights outside...still won't win the big prize of $25.00, but pretty all the same.

All in all, a nice weekend...

The little lights aren't twinkling, Clark...

So Mr. P and I decided we would put up Christmas lights up outside this year. He adamantly refused to put any up on the house as he is completely afraid of heights; however, he agreed to lights on bushes and on the porch columns.

It was our first such experience.........................and our last. The whole experience sucked. It rained (yeah, that's safe) and some of the lights didn't work. So we now have one lit bush and two lit porch columns....and that's it.

This would be okay, if I didn't live in a neighborhood full of Clark Griswold-wannabes. Our neighborhood association even has a decorating competition! And we have got some folks that REALLY want to win the 25 bucks. Lights of every color and blow up snowmen and santas. One house even has this whole tropical thing going with a palm tree, dolphin and Santa being pulled by a gaggle of pink flamingoes whose skinny pink legs light up. (gaggle? flock? flamingoes? flamingi?)

Whatever. I don't care.

But maybe I will get a nice big pre-lit wreath to hang above the garage....

Check It Out - A New Quote!

From my new favorite comedian, Patton Oswald. Brilliantly funny, with a similar delivery as Dave Attell - but a little brainier and with fewer dick jokes (not that there is anything wrong with a good dick joke, of course).

The quote vaguely reminds me of something my dear carnivore, Chuck, once said...

(paraphrase) "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why then are they made of meat?"

How true.

Damn You, Felicity!

What the hell is up with The WB not giving me fair warning that "Gilmore Girls" was not going to be on last night because, instead, they aired some crap American Girl movie entitled "Felicity." Seriously, that is not fair. It almost ruined my night. That is, until Hugh Laurie saved the day! Another excellent "House" ep.

On another note, I have an eye exam tonight. I am considering getting contact lenses. I haven't had them since junior high - and that was a tremendously bad experience. One soft lens, one gas permeable...and I never got them clean enough...and I ripped one...and then I lost one...and I was stuck wearing the Sally Jessy Raphael red frames that I thought were cool when I was ten.

Yeah, I was a pretty ugly junior high-er. But that is another post for another time.

Anyway, I am assuming the the contact lens technology has advanced since that time, and that I would have an easier time of the whole experience. However, I am tremendously lazy and don't want to have put any effort into being able to see (hence, the wearing of glasses), which is similar to my not wanting to put any effort into my hair (which is why it is a blessing that I have naturally curly hair). So...should I go with contacts and move into the 21st century of eyewear...or do I stick with a good ol' pair of glasses????

Tough call.

Sweetie...Dah-ling...SweetieDah-ling...you don't mind if I call you that, do you, Saffy?

On Saturday, BBC America had an AbFab (uhhh, that is "Absolutely Fabulous" for those who don't know) marathon. Needless to say, I didn't leave my couch for about 6 hours. It was heavenly.

Jennifer Saunders rocks!

On My To Do List...

To my chagrin, I did not get a chance to see Rent over the weekend. Sorry, LK, we will talk once I see it. I read your review and have this odd feeling that I will agree whole-heartedly.

However, I did see Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, and all I have to say about it is - ROCK ON, MIKE NEWELL. It was EXCELLENT. This would have been an extremely difficult book to whittle down to a 2 1/2 hour movie, but they did it - and boy was it amazing. I was completely impressed. I thought it could not have been done better than Alfonso Cuaron in Prisoner of Azkaban, but Mike Newell did a phenomenal job. The Tri-Wizard tournament, the Winter Ball, and even the short scene at the Quidditch World Cup - truly entertaining.

YAY! I was concerned that it was going to be another Chris Columbus mess (he directed the first two), but I was pleasantly surprised. Newell really captured the darkness of the book as well as the loneliness Harry experiences during his fourth year at Hogwarts.

OH - I did drink some great wine and eat a ton of mashed potatoes...but I don't think it is necessary to dwell on such gluttony ;)

It's Turkey-Lurkey Time!!!*

Well, my first T'giving in my new house is tomorrow! YAY! My brother is coming down from Chicago (if he doesn't get stuck in the heinous blizzard we are supposed to get) and we are having a nice little family holiday together. Of course, I am purchasing much of the big dinner from Fresh Market, but hey, I am a busy, working woman - in the cleanest sense of the phrase - and do not have time for a Martha Stewart dinner...I barely have time for the Rachael Ray Thanksgiving dinner in 60 minutes dinner. So it is all about me and Fresh Market.

Don't be a hater.

Things to do over the long weekend:
1. See the new "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" AND "Rent"
2. Watch a bunch of DVDs that my mentor here at work insists I see (including "Annie Hall"...which I don't know about b/c I am not a huge Woody Allen fan)
3. Drink some great pinot noir and eat about a pound of mashed potatoes.
4. Figure out what is going on with my brother and his French pseudo-girlfriend.
5. Meet up with my favorite ex-Juvenile Law prof/DTS sponsor/lover of "Mamma Mia," as he is going to be in the area.

And maybe I will catch up on some work...........maybe not.

I think it sounds like a plan!

*For Chuck

Dangerous Liaisons Lite

So last night I watched Valmont on Encore. Why would I watch such a movie? Well, because my other husband, Colin Firth, plays the title role. But here's the problem...it is a completely crap movie. I mean it is BAD. And the sad part about how bad it is (ooh, that was very Dr. Seuss of me), is that there are some decent actors in it...okay, Annette Bening is in it. She is wonderful. But the creepy pedophile principal from Ferris Bueller, Meg Tilly (sister of Jennifer, former wife of my dear Mr. Firth), and Mr. Firth are just plain wretched. Actually, Colin isn't too bad. He is quite believable as the filthy cad, Valmont, but his long wig is so distracting that I couldn't even focus on his acting! I mean, it looked like a dead animal was super glued to his lovely head.

Sadly, this movie came out at exactly the same time as another movie based on the same story - Dangerous Liaisons. And it just couldn't hold its own against the brilliant work of John Malkovich and Michelle Pfeiffer. Now that was a great movie!

And I won't even try to compare the poorly-made Valmont with the truly entertaining updated version that came out a couple years later, Cruel Intentions, with Ryan Philippe, Reese Witherspoon, and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Let's just say...the movie is bad. And no amount of Colin Firth could save it.

Pity.

I need a weekend from my weekend!

Phew!!!! Busy, busy weekend...

Friday night - Mr. P and I did most of our Thanksgiving shopping. My brother is coming from Chicago and is POSSIBLY bringing his g-friend, Josie. So we had to make sure we had all necessary groceries, beyond the actual T'giving dinner - which we are getting from Fresh Market (the greatest dinner ever for $59.99).

Saturday - Mr. P & I went to the Notre Dame game! It was my first Irish experience and we had a great time. Most of the coaching staff at Unnamed Catholic HS where Mr. P is assistant principal went down early (like 8 am early - which where we live means they left at 6 am early) and scouted out the parking spot and started making breakfast on the grill. By the time we arrived - at around 10 am - we were served eggs and bacon and sausage! Then they started on lunch foods...brats and hamburgers...these people know how to tailgate. Of course, all of this food was washed down with beer and screwdrivers. Mr. P & I bolted after lunch and headed to campus where we met up with an ND student who had gotten our tix. Checked out Touchdown Jesus and watched the band and then headed to our seats. And by seats, I mean the tiny strip of wood in which I had to squeeze my big ass. Holy crap. I was sitting so close to the person next to me, that in some countries, I think we are now married...I am not sure. Beyond the claustrophobia-inducing seating, it was a great time! ND beat the hell out of Syracuse - and the weather behaved the whole time! :)

Sunday - You woud think that I would have spent all day Sunday recovering from Saturday...but noooooooo! I had to go to Sears and pick out a snow blower. Do you know how much I don't give a crap which model we buy? As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, Sunday night, we had to attend a fundraiser for Unnamed Catholic HS at a local bar here in town. For 20 bucks, you got snacks, all the draft beer you could drink, and a live band. So, although I didn't do much drinking, I danced my ass off...as usual. The place was packed with people - both drunk and sober, getting their schwerve on. It was a great night! Too bad it was SUNDAY!!!

So, here I am...Monday morning...throat sore from screaming at Saturday's game, muscles sore from dancing at Sunday's fundraiser...oh yeah, and arm sore - because I had to get a FREAKING FLU SHOT THIS MORNING at 7 am. Needless to say, I am going to be pretty much worthless for the rest of the day!!!!

DVR is My Friend

After moving here to the Fort, Mr. P and I decided we would splurge a little ($9.95 a month!) and get the DVR option for our cable service. Holy cow - that is the best 10 bucks a month I have ever spent. Why? Well, because every show that is worth a crap is on Tuesday nights...what happened to "Must See TV" on Thursdays??? Why can't the TV Powers that Be spread the love? On Tuesdays alone - from 8 pm to 10 pm - the following shows air: "Gilmore Girls," "Supernatural," "Bones," "House," "My Name is Earl," and "The Office." That, my friends, is completely unfair. So I have had to make some TV sacrifices.

I have, of course, continued my obsession with "Gilmore Girls" (thank you, Heidi)...even with the crappy deal with Rory going off the deep end, living with the G'parents and joining the DAR...so it stays. I tape "Bones" during that time b/c...well, David Boreanaz (sp?) is a fine piece of manflesh...and a great actor....oh, and it is a good show. I then watch "House" - b/c I continue my obsession with Hugh Laurie as well. But I also have to tape it b/c Mr. P is not home and will want to see it. (Note - Mr. P. does not have a Hugh Laurie fetish...he just likes the show). Such dilemmas. This means NO hot Supernatural boys...and no superbly funny "My Name is Earl" and "The Office"...what is a girl to do?????

Don't even get me started on moving "The West Wing" to Sunday nights opposite "Cold Case."

I have also found my new Wednesday favorite TV show - and NO, it is not "Lost"...I missed the boat on it. And I just don't think it is a TV show you can jump into. So, instead, I am hooked into "Criminal Minds." Anything with Mandy Patinkin in it and I am there....now, if only he would sing, it would be even better. But how do you work a Broadway tune into a story line involving the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit? I guess about as well as you work one into a storyline about a Chicago doctor ("Chicago Hope"). Come on, Mandy...just one song!!!

Overall, I have been quite impressed with some of the new shows this season. But I still have nothing to watch on Monday nights (once football is over, natch) and Thursdays...what are you guys watching????

525,600 minutes...how do you measure a year?

Well, at the request of Robin and Amanda and due to the assistance of Blogger, I have found my blog and I am BACK! But much has changed. I am now in a new house in a new neighborhood in a new city - all of which I love - along with my new job!

I plan to say much more about all of these changes as time goes on. Let's just say, for the moment, that I am extremely content. Life is good, readers...really, really good. But with the recent news some of us have received regarding a dear friend, it is difficult to rejoice in my contentness. So we will leave it at that for now...and pray that all turns out well for him and his family.

Nevertheless - I am back - check in for what's going on with me and my new life: the new house, new shows, and new tunes...same ol' me.

At the Jazz Kitchen...

Jeff Coffin

Yup, the same guy who stayed at my house and hung out with me at the coffee shop and played with my doggies...

Jeff Coffin and his Mu'tet (a play on the word "mutation") will be playing at The Jazz Kitchen in Broad Ripple on Saturday night - I believe they will have two shows - 8:30 and 10:30. If you are a jazzer, a musician, a music-lover, whatever, you must check them out. Jeff is amazing, and the musicians he has backing him up are phenomenal!!!!! Keith's b-day is Saturday, so this is a perfect birthday gift...we are really looking forward to it. Gotta have something to brighten up this week from hell. Cheery, huh?

For further info:
www.thejazzkitchen.com

Yep, I am alive...but just barely.

Hey, guys!

Sorry it has taken me so long to post anything new here at ol' JB&C. I am afraid that, with packing up my house, helping Keith find a new job, finding a temporary home in Indy, finding a new home in the Fort and studying for the bar, I just haven't been able to post as I have in the past! Things are really really crazy right now. UGH.

Bear with me - hopefully, I will be able to find time to regale you with stories of 45 high schoolers traveling on a stinky bus to see the Mouse, house hunting, and my trip through bar hell.....just not right now - my house is almost completely in boxes, my husband and dogs are all on the verge of nervous breakdowns and I have a heinous sinus infection....

LOVE YOU!!!!! :)

A Grammy-winning Saxophone Player Slept Here

(Post inadvertently suggested by Kel)

Okay, here's the deal. I am not going to do an AI recap this week because overall I wasn't THAT impressed. There. I said it. Loved Bo's version of "Stand By Me" and Carrie's rendition of "Trouble." Oh, and thought that "On Broadway" was pretty darn good as well - by Scott. Beyond that...eh. Nothin'. Oh, yeah - A.Feddy was baaaaad this week. It is a flat note mess. Ooh, but House M.D. was really good. Is it weird that I think that Dr. House (Hugh Laurie) is hot? Because I really do. And what's even better is that, in real life, he has a kick ass British accent....and you know me and British accents...ahem...Colin Firth.

But what I do want you to know is why I probably won't be posting for the next three days. A Grammy-winning artist is coming to stay at my house...and I really need to clean! My husband's spring jazz show is Thursday night here in Muntucky and the guest artist for this show...none other than Jeff Coffin. Who the hell is Jeff Coffin, you say? Only the saxophone player for Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, one of my most favoritest jazz/bluegrass/funk groups ever. Keith & I love Bela Fleck so much that we named our black Lab Bela :) So, this is a pretty big deal. The thing is, he is staying at my house the next two nights! So, that means...not only do I have to prepare for my last final - closed book Evidence (absolutely gross, I know)...and make sure everything is ready for the weekend when the fam comes up for graduation...I have to get my house ready for some serious company...and go to the store...as I am pretty sure he might want something more than a can of Diet A&W Cream soda, ranch dressing, a carton of yogurt, and leftover Kraft mac & cheese.

Oh - and if for some reason you KNOW who Bela Fleck is and are interested in seeing his amazing jazz sax player live in concert with the best group of jazz kiddos ever - and are in the Muntucky area - let me know and I can get you tickets!!!!

If you've got the poison, I've got the remedy.

Actually, if you have poison, I don't have a remedy. But if you have a construction defect, a constitutional violation, a personal injury OR a breach of contract, I MAY just have your remedy. Yes, ladies and gents, the dreaded Remedies final is finished. I have to admit that I am a bit weepy. Not about being done with that damn final, mind you...because it was effing HARD...but sad that I will not see one of my favorite profs on a daily basis anymore. He met me outside of class and one of things he said, in his very serious, professor-y way, was "Don't be a stranger." *sigh*

Why am I so bothered by all of this ending? Is it because I truly never thought I would? Is it because I thought I would be in the comforts of law school forever and ever? I have no idea. All I know is that I have so enjoyed the experience. I have a wonderful, kind, and extremely funny group of friends that helped me to see my way to the end of this journey. And I have been fortunate to have amazing professors who:

• could make civ pro interesting (Tradition...tradition!)
• could make admiralty law funny (the little oar...come on - that was funny stuff)
• was so damn interesting, I stayed awake for two hours of labor law on Tuesday nights
• wore kick ass Pink Floyd ties
• facilitated interesting and insightful free speech discussions, using the Socratic method as it should be used
• said things like "What else is there to do in Sandusky? Smoke crack & ride rides!"

and one who said "Don't be a stranger." *sniff, sniff* Thanks, Prof. W....you too.

Yeah, I am going to be a complete mess by Sunday. I better find a way to hide tissues in my robe.

On the ol' iPod...

Just thought I would post a short ditty before I immerse myself back into the land of compensatory damages, injunctions, contempt & all other concepts that are lovingly referred to as remedies...

Per my schizophrenic music tastes, here are then five songs on my iPod:

"Knock Yourself Out" by Tower of Power...which if you have never heard ToP - you need to go out right now and buy an album...HOT! Uhh...the music...not the guys...they are really old. But the music is smokin'.

"Song Tease Megamix" by Barenaked Ladies. BNL is known for their ability to mix up a bunch a crazy songs at their live shows....this one includes "Gettin' Jiggy With It," "Hit Me Baby One More Time," "Near/Far" (the Sesame Street song!) which goes into the Titanic song "My Heart Will Go On." It is an impressive mix of music.

"Moment's Notice" by Harry Connick, Jr. (from the album '25').

"Autumn Leaves," a classic song performed live by Bobby McFerrin & Chick Corea.

"What It Takes" by Aerosmith

OH - and the theme song from "Facts of Life" is next :)

Just thought I would share!!!!

ONLY TWO MORE FINALS TO GO!!!!!