Funniest. Recap. Ever.

Y'all, I am not watching American Idol this season, but have managed to keep up with the drama through Today show coverage as well as Television without Pity - one of my all-time favorite time-wasting websites. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that it is down to the two Davids: Cook (rocker guy!) and Archuleta (fetus!), respectively. I decided to start my day on a high note: while enjoying my banana/Special K bar breakfast, I read up on the latest recap (written by the brilliant Jacob) of this week's American Idol drama........and then I choked on my banana and Special K bar. The cause? This paragraph right here, discussing D.Arch. and his butchering of a Chris Brown song:

This is ridiculous! Why won't it end? I did not pay zero dollars to have David Effing Archuleta call me his "boo." He can't even ride the tall rides and he's calling me his boo? His boo is, like, the Cabbage Patch Kid he sleeps with. He calls each silver dollar pancake his boo before he eats it in front of cartoons on Saturday morning. "C'mere, boo. I gotta tell you something. You are delicious, little momma." You know who I miss? A-Fed. He was sort of my boo. He's probably about 30-years-old by now. I picture him raising chickens, on a farm. He drinks late at night on the porch and listens to coyotes. He is nobody's boo. His only boo is the sea, and a ship to sail her by. When he pretended to not be a tiny weak little child, you believed he was not, at least for the duration of the song. This crap is like Tom Cruise in the Outsiders trying to front.

Effing. Awesome.

I am going to go and clean the banana from my keyboard now.

Chuckie T!

I am not ashamed:

I have a complete nerd-crush on Chuck Todd and Tim Russert.

Paradise found.

Remember when I said that my mom and I were planning a getaway cruise? Well, we got-away. And it was amazing. Honestly, I could not have asked for a better time. We really were able to just relax and enjoy each other's company. A recap:

Day 1....mind you this was not day one of the cruise. We met up in Indianapolis the night before our flight. Didn't want to deal w/traffic, delays, etc, considering we were both traveling 2 hours to get to Indy. Memorable moment from that evening? I broke my just-manicured nail. Yep, I am still pissed about it. But we had a little fashion show (Fashion show. Fashion show. Fashion show at lunch.) and filled out some forms, and caught the end of American Idol. I watched 1/2 of one episode and decided I wanted to punch Kristy Lee Cook right in the neck for choosing a cheesy, pandering song like "Proud to be an American." Stupid girl.

Day 2....flight to Ft Lauderdale....easy flight, no issues whatsoever...amazing. We had a wonderful chat on the plane, and realized that we hadn't been able to really talk like that in 10 years....seriously, 10 years. I blame Mr. P. ;) We arrived in Lauderdale, and caught a shuttle to our hotel...where we were staying for a night before getting on the boat the next day. Highlight? Sitting by the pool, having a drink, avoiding the creepy cat walking around the pool deck, and then going on a mile trek to find cigarettes (not for me). We crossed major roads, wandered through a Kmart, and eventually found the gas station that was supposedly "five seconds" away, according to the bartender at the hotel. Duh.

Day 3.....cruise day! We grabbed a shuttle from the hotel to the cruise port without a hitch. The logistics to get 2500 people checked in onto a floating resort is outrageous...and Royal Caribbean does it right. We got on board....had some lunch and went to our room, where I surprised Mom w/our own private balcony. Needless to say, this is where we spent much of our days. We wandered the boat for the remainder of the day, then got dressed for dinner. At dinner, we sat w/this couple from Miami....interesting folks. I can definitely say that Mom and I will never forget Juan! Big guy, big personality, always kept the drinks flowing. Caught the show after dinner - like a big show choir show - and then went back to the room to enjoy our balcony and more wine :)

Days 4 and 5: Phenomenal! We had breakfast on our balcony both days - which was seriously enjoyable. The first day was spent at Cococay, a private island in the Bahamas. We had a great time chilling out at the beach, reading and working on our tans. Seriously, the day could not have been better. Came back, had dinner...it was the formal night...lots of pictures. We then hit the casinos, where I had all sorts of luck (Thank you, Kenny Rogers!) and then went back to the room to enjoy our balcony some more. Seriously, that was the best money I have ever spent. The next day we were in Key West. We took a walking tour of Key "Weird" and went to the Hemingway House. Very interesting...but more creepy cats...these with 5 toes! That Hemingway had himself quite the life, too! We walked Duval Street, went to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Cafe, and shopped for souvenirs. I picked up some "Atocha gold" for Mr. P. at the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum, and then we walked back to the boat.....more sunning, more dinner (on our own....thank goodness!) ...more casino success (Don't be a hater, Mom!) and more balcony time, where we planned our next day's events....with some wine :)

Day 6: The day at sea! Woo hoo! We staked out a couple of deck chairs at about 9:30 am...and then proceeded not to move for the next 5 1/2 hours! Ha! We even ate our lunch in those chairs! I went through another book or two (I read about 5 books on the trip!), and we took in some serious people-watching, as well as the "Belly Flop Contest." We then joined our shipmates in playing TV Tune Trivia...as in, they play 2-3 seconds of a TV theme song, and then you have to write down the answer. And I kicked ASS....I won 2 RCCL hats...woot! Come on, though - A-Team? Soap? Greatest American Hero? And my personal favorite, Facts of Life. How could you not know those?! We also played some bingo...hilarious..........and we lost. Oh well. Still a fun way to pass the time. It was a sad day, though. We had to say our goodbyes to our dinnermates as well as our waiters, Ervin and Joey. We also had to tackle major packing so we could set our suitcases out before we went to bed.

Day 7: Debarkation. Suck. Bummer. Sad. It all went well....and then we got to the airport, where we were told it was too early to check in. We had, like 7 hours before our flight. So, we said screw it. We stored our suitcases, and grabbed a cab to the Ft Lauderdale beachfront....had some lunch at Sloppy Joe's, and then we literally sat under a palm tree for about three hours. It was great. The weather was perfect, and we didn't have to sit in a crappy airport chair for 7 hours! We grabbed a cab back to the airport, caught our flight back to Indy, and when we arrived we found Mr. P. and Tommie B. (aka Dad) waiting for us at the baggage carousel. Awesome. We said our goodbyes, and Mom and Tom went one way and we went the other.

I could not have asked for a better way to spend 7 days.

I love you, Mom.

Oh. My. God.*

Two things:

#1: New Kids on the Block are coming out with a new album!!! *sigh* Takes me back to junior high: I was such a fan-geek. I had the tour jacket, I had the enormous buttons, I needed help...seriously. Joey, Jonathan, Jordan, Donnie, and Danny....loved 'em all. Okay, notsomuch Danny....but the others, definitely. So, yeah - really excited about that.

More importantly, though...

#2: Barack Obama is coming to the Fort tomorrow morning!!! And I have a ticket!!!! I love that Indiana is FINALLY relevant...very exciting stuff. Bill was here a few weeks ago, Hillary had breakfast at Sara's Restaurant here last weekend, and now Barack. Awesome.



*Could this post have any more exclamation points???!!!!

"All I need is a spray tan and some Spanx..." **

Thank the Lord in Heaven - I am going on vacation in less than 2 weeks. My mom and I - yep, just the two of us - are going on a 4 night Royal Caribbean cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale, with stops in Key West and the Bahamas. Soooo excited. Luckily, my mom and I really like each other. In fact, I would consider her one of my very best friends. As such, I am looking so forward to just sitting on the beach (or at the pool) w/a stack of books, a fruity girlie drink, and my mom to keep me company. What could be better than that?!!!



**My mantra in preparing for this trip.

Another campus tragedy...

and this one a little too close to home for me.

As you all are aware, yesterday, a former graduate student opened fire on an auditorium full of geology students at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, west of Chicago, killing five and injuring countless others.

My sister-in-law, Katie, attends NIU.

Katie had just left work and was on her way to campus for class, when the shooting occurred. The footage showing the students being put into ambulances - apparently, that is where she parks for class. She is fine, but is in shock, which is to be expected. Needless to say, my family is a bit shaken by this tragic and terrible event.

Go home and hug your loved ones. You never know what can happen in this crazy world.

Love to all.

Why I Love Chuck Klosterman

Not only because of the brilliance of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs (that's a book, Mom, not my morning ritual!), but because of this article:

Me, On Shuffle, wherein Klosterman tries to answer this question:

"True or False: The music a person listens to reveals many truths about that person."

When you get a free moment, check it out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMANDA!!!!!

Thirtysomething...

Do y'all remember that show thirtysomething with Mel Harris and Ken Olin and Danny from The West Wing, and his wife, the annoying blonde chick, all whiny and dissatisfied with her life? When that show aired, I thought those folks looked OLD......they all had kids running around and one of them had post-partum depression or something and they were balancing careers and families, blah blah blah.............and they were OLD.

And now...I am no longer 30. I am "thirtysomething...." *sigh* Old.

So Sad.

The news about Heath Ledger really bothers me, for some reason. And the fact that it really bothers me also bothers me. I mean, I wasn't, like, his biggest fan or anything. I thought he was good in "A Knight's Tale," great in "The Patriot," and pretty damn impressive in "Brokeback Mountain." I am looking forward to "The Dark Knight," but didn't know until a few weeks ago that Ledger was playing The Joker. So...why am I so saddened by the news?

I guess it just seems like this is a kid who had it all going for him: a career on the rise, a seemingly supportive network of family and friends, a gorgeous daughter, and plenty of money. Based on what I have read, authorities do not think that he committed suicide, but still.....sad. Very sad.

On a different note -
They say death comes in threes...Suzanne Pleshette, Heath Ledger...and?

Things Into Which I Am Currently.

Ha! Sometimes being grammatically correct comes off as a Yoda impersonation.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Pomegranate 7-up. Have y'all tried it? It is the best beverage out there....okay, the best non-alcoholic beverage out there. And it is "limited edition," which translates into 20 bottles stored in my pantry.

2. The red-headed awesomeness of Messrs. Hauser and Lewis. That would be Cole Hauser of K*Ville and Damien Lewis of Life, respectively. Yummy. (Since high school, I have had a thing for redheads...I can't explain it.) V. v. yummy.

3. Barenaked for the Holidays by BNL...especially the BNL/Sarah McLachlan duet. Excellent Christmas tune.

4. WoodWick candles. These candles, which I have found at Von Maur and Hallmark, last forever, come in wonderful "flavors" like Cinnamon Chai and Applewood, and have a wood wick (hence the name...duh), so the candle makes this crackling, popping sound...very soothing. I would highly recommend a WoodWick candle for a Secret Santa gift.

5. The quirky novel The Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England by Brock Clarke.

What are y'all into right now???? What makes you happy right now?


**Removed ellipses in title per Kel's comment because she was absolutely right :)

The airing of the grievances.

Since Festivus is just around the corner, I thought I would air a grievance of my own: the annual firm holiday party. Ours is the same: the same country club, the same conversations with the partners and their spouses, the same choice of chicken, steak, or fish, the same awful deejay with his Kenny G dinner music, and "Baby Got Back" to really get the staff up and dancing (or if that doesn't work, the ubiquitous "Electric Slide"), and the same open bar....which causes the same staffer to make a complete fool of herself.

Ugh.

How to combat this problem? Those of you that have annual holiday parties...what do you do? Are your parties similar to the one I described above, or do you do something inventive and fun? Anything has got to be better than choking down a hockey puck shaped cheesecake while listening to the deejay spin "Old Time Rock & Roll," and the partner's wife rattling on about how busy she is, what with baby Jasper (or Caleigh, or Jaden, or whatever name is now trendy) and the personal training sessions, and the weekly spa appointments.

Bring on the suggestions.

*sigh*

It's 2:50 p.m., and I am enjoying a lunch of taco Doritos and 2 mini Snicker bars.

Yep. It's been one of those days.

Fave new blog, y'all!

Mindy Kaling - who plays "Kelly" on The Office (who, btw, is my husband's TV girlfriend) - writes a blog called "Things I've Bought That I Love." Love, love, love it.

Number one, she's high-larious, and (b) I have found some super cute gift and clothing ideas.

Check it out:
http://mindyephron.blogspot.com/

You can thank me later.

Things I am Enjoying this Morning...

• A grande Bold with cream and 2 splenda along with a slice of pumpkin loaf.
• "Let Me Touch You For Awhile" by Alison Krauss & Union Station playing on the iPod.
• A surprise wonderful email from an old and very dear friend.
• The silence which comes from the entire staff sitting in computer training in another building.

How do you like to start your work day?

Well, let's see....

Didn't have Chuck on my must-see TV list. Really liking Chuck.

Tried Big Bang Theory...it was "ehh" at best.

Enjoyed Aliens in America (even though my former TV boyfriend, Luke, is not what he used to be), but don't know if I will make time to watch it....though Mondays are a bit grim, when I am not watching the game.

Cane...could be interesting...I will keep watching.

Life? Loved Life. Love Damian Lewis...seriously adorable. And his character kind of has a Dr. House/Detective Goren thing going which I dig.

K*Ville. I am sticking it out despite poor reviews.

What am I missing, people? I know, Lawren, Prison Break....but I think it is too late for me and Wentworth Miller, despite his hotness. Kind of like Lost...if you weren't in at the beginning, you aren't ever getting in.

Must See TV

Blame this post on Robin. She started me thinking on the new shows for the fall, as well as the old shows which remain appointment TV. With that intro, here's what I hope to be watching/DV-R'ing come the fall:

Monday:
Yeah...not much is going on for me on Monday. I think that Aliens in America looks okay...and Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls *swoon*) is now a part of the cast, so maybe I will give it a try. Another new show I am planning to try is K*Ville...gotta love a good crime drama (like there aren't enough, right?), and this one, set in post-Katrina New Orleans, has the potential to be quite entertaining. So, yeah...I got nothin' for Monday....Oh, wait - Family Guy is on Monday, right? I will be watching Family Guy on Monday :)

Tuesday:
This one's easy, now that Gilmore Girls is off the area, and Dancing with the Stars has no one that has captured my interest.
8-9 Bones
9-10 House
10-11 Cane (Jimmy Smits & Hector Elizando back on prime-time TV - woo hoo! Of course, this will be DV-R'ed b/c I never make it through the 10:00 show!)

Wednesday:
This is a toughy. I think I am going to try out Pushing Daisies, a cool concept, and I love the look of the show. Soooo....
8-9 Pushing Daisies
9-10 Criminal Minds (Mandy's left, but Joe Mantegna has signed on...should be good stuff!)
9-10 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (DV'R'ed to fast forward through all of the bullshit reality show-type filler)
10-11 Life (Damian Lewis - a cop who spent a significant time in prison for a crime he did not commit, is exonerated, sues the gov't, gets a huge damage award, and...goes back to being a cop. Fabulous. Also stars Alan Arkin...yay!)

Thursday:
Another busy night - but these are the oldies but goodies...*
8-9 Ugly Betty (Is or isn't Santos going to live??? What about Betty and Henry??? Can't wait to find out.....)
9-9:30 The Office (three words: Pam. And. Jim. Okay, and Dwight. I love Dwight.)
9-10 Grey's Anatomy (DV-R'ed b/c I am a bit exhausted with Izzy & George's storyline, and I can fast-forward through Mere's annoyingly pinched dialogue of miserable-ness)
*I can't believe I am typing this, but I think I might DV-R Survivor. I haven't seen it in years, and really think it has run its course, but I am excited by the prospect of the show being set in China this season. We will see!)

Friday
What else???? FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!!! (Call me, Kyle Chandler!)

How about the rest of you? What are you planning to watch this fall? What are you excited about? What are you NOT excited about? (I'm talking to you, creators of Cavemen. What the hell.)

Random question...

What do y'all think of that whole big belt thing? You know, wearing a wide belt with a dress shirt or sweater? I now own two and kind of dig the look - it creates a nice shape that I once achieved without the need of accessories...but I also kind of feel like Betty Boop.

Thoughts?

For those of you in the know...

Isabelle Jade [Chinese name]

or

Maya Grace [Chinese name]

Thoughts, please....

He's at home...washing his tights.

So, there's this new show on TNT called "The Company." I have not yet seen it - though it is patiently waiting for me on DV-R. It stars Chris O'Donnell, Alfred Molina, and, the main reason I want to watch - Michael Keaton. Is it weird that I am still harboring a bit of a crush on Michael Keaton from back when he played "Batman" in 1989??? I think so. Loved him - loved the hair, the glasses, the tortured soul...and of course, the Batsuit (w/o the nipples, thankyouverymuch, George Clooney). Loved all of it.

This goes back to the strange celeb crush question I asked some years ago....I guess I can add "Michael Keaton circa 1989" to the list, huh?

And speaking of shows on basic cable- anyone watching "Mad Men" on AMC? (This is why I love my DV-R.) The lead character, Don Draper...what's up with that guy? Seriously tortured soul. Excellent show - if you're not watching, I suggest you check it out....if only to relive the good ol' days: Drinking bloody marys at client meetings, drinking scotch in the privacy of your office, drinking mint juleps while pregnant. (Are you seeing a pattern here?) Ooh, also - Niagara Falls on your honeymoon, and flirtin' with the gals in the typing pool. Good stuff. It's certainly a time period that hasn't received much attention- and it is fascinating.