Friday, March 31, 2006

Is it wrong that...

I want to get a Cingular wireless phone so I can download Elliott Yamin singing "Moody's Mood for Love" to use as my ringtone?????

I thought so.

Next thing you know I will be buying a Ford and drinking Coke...and buying Paula Abdul's greatest hits album. (Yep, she has one.)

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Idol Roundup - also called "I didn't realize that the music from the last six years SUCKED so bad"

Let's get one thing straight before I start this week's rant. Katharine did not deserve to be in the bottom three. Are you effing kidding me? Even though I really am not an Xtina fan...really really not an Xtina fan...Kat had a great voice. Ooh, now that I think about it, maybe the voters just hated her outfit. I know I hated her outfit. I don't know what the hell was going on with that shit, but it was wretched. I can't even describe it in such a way for the readers to fully grasp its hideousness. Anyway...

The theme for this week was "21st Century Songs." And amazingly, there were four songs out of the ten that I had never heard. Sad, really - either for them for picking such crap songs, or me for not listening to the radio more. I am thinking it is the former....b/c my career is not on the line for listening to NPR instead of Radio Now...or Radio Saigon, or whereever the hell they got their songs!

Lisa Tucker started us off with "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson. Although it was okay (and would prove to be better than a number of other performances), the song was just too big for Lisa's voice. She is sweet and lovely and is going to be in the bottom three. There is no way around it.
(After this, the order gets a bit sketchy for me...)

Ace Young sang "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Three memorable things occurred during Ace's performance. One - I about wet my pants when he said he wanted to go more "rock" with his song choice. Rock?!?!? Was he serious? If Train is rock, then Barry Manilow is punk. Whatever, Dude. Second, he showed off a creepy scar...and Paula made a wholly inappropriate comment about it. And third? He sucked monkeys. It was just bad.

Kellie Pickler...well, I effing HATE Kellie Pickler, so I am not going to say anything other than Sara Evans is a goddess. Don't freaking sing her songs...even crappy ones like that silly soap song.

Taylor Hicks is one of my favorites, vocally - but least favorites to actually have to watch. I actually get embarrassed when he is on. Plus, I think he may have some sort of disorder...I don't know what, but he needs medication for it. The manboy is strange. Overall, a great song for him. I enjoyed him just standing there and NOT dancing. But again - where the hell did that song come from?????

Mandisa. Mandisa, Mandisa, Mandisa. Girl, I love you. I love you in all your bigness and loveliness. I think you are probably the most talented performer on that stage. But, damn, please don't proselytize. Seriously. I save religion for Sundays....not for Tuesday nights. I am Methodist...we get uncomfortable when people actually "praise the Lord" out loud. It was all shouting and sequined pants...I didn't like it. And second, and you should know this by now. Dark colors on the bottom. Light colors on the top. Thanks.

Paris Bennett performed Beyonce's "Work It Out." Now let's be clear. I love this song. I bought this album. But watching Paris perform this made me feel extremely uncomfortable...like I was breaking the law...and I was going to be placed on the sex offender registry. She did a good job, I just didn't think it was appropriate. Moving on.

Bucky Covington sang some bullshit country song that I didn't know, and couldn't figure out b/c the band was too loud and his mouth was full of tabacky or something. I don't know. He needs to go.

Katharine McPhee...see above. Xtina + Fugly shirt = Bottom three. And I love her. I do. But that was one UGLY shirt.

Chris Daughtry sang something scream-y by Creed. I knew it was only a matter of time before he busted out his very best Scott Stapp impersonation. It was loud and kind of obnoxious, and I have to agree with Simon - indulgent. No self-respecting rocker would be on American Idol. They just wouldn't. Also, it now time for Chris to sing more than one note during a song....I am kind of over him. But damn if he isn't still really really hot.

And saving the best for last...

Elliott Yamin sang the theme to "One Tree Hill." Also known as that one song by Gavin DeGraw that Bo sang last year. It was a cool arrangement (even though the judges didn't really agree with that) and Elliott sang the shit out of it. His vocals are just effortless. He has awesome intonation, and a super cool vibe about it. I love him, he is my favorite. But, why oh why, American Idol stylists, did you dress him like a homeless person??? That is the last thing Yamin needs...more ugliness.

On Wednesday, Shakira shook her bon bon. And I liked it. A lot. And Lisa, Ace, and....Katharine (What the fuck? Not Bucky? You mean I have to sit through Bucky for another week????) were in the bottom three. Sexy Seacrest sent Ace back to the Woolworth Stools of Love, and left Kat and Lisa as the bottom two. Wow. The suspense nearly made me...fall asleep. Of course Lisa was going home. And she did. And I cried. As usual.

Next week - COUNTRY. Oh boy. Remind me to put "earplugs" on my shopping list.

Monday, March 27, 2006

At my nerdy best

I enjoyed reading Robin's post about what she was reading. So much so, that I thought I would share the books which I am currently enjoying right now. I have started a bunch of books and am now just finding the time to finish:

(1) Dog Days by Ana Marie Cox.

The author is better known by her blog moniker, Wonkette. I read Wonkette while I was in law school, so I bought it out of curiosity. Cox includes a bit of funny political commentary within a tepid, barely fictionalized story of August 2004 Washington DC. The clich├ęd characters evoke little besides disinterest and annoyance, especially when speaking. Cox excels when parodying the Swift Boaters with the 'Citizens for Clear Heads'. Honestly, I have been slogging through this book for a month or so now, and can't seem to finish. I think she is better off sticking to the blog.

(2) Don't Get Too Comfortable : The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never- Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems by David Rakoff

This collection of essays by the author of Fraud (another favorite of mine!) is a well executed satire of our hyper-indulged, self-entitled, over-consuming society. Rakoff rails (rather articulately!) on everythin: elitist varieties of salt, twenty-day fasts, the Log Cabin Republicans, and foraging in Central Park. A great read - I highly recommend it!

(3) Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbins

Robbins' investigation into the life of sororities is an interesting one. I am a former member of a sorority. I de-activated after about a year and a half, as my major at the time, music education required a great deal of evening and weekend responsibilities, which overlapped with the sorority activities. For every sorority activity I missed, I was fined at least 20 dollars, even though my reasons for my absence were related to academics. I enjoyed the sorority experience, I just couldn't afford it. But I digress.

Because I had been exposed to sorority life,I was very fascinated to see an outsider's take on the institutions. Robbins' exploration is fun to read, but for that reason, I believe certain things are sensationalized. For example, Robbins is absolutely appalled that sorority sisters do not discuss charity at charity events. Further, in revealing sorority secrets, she shows no respect for her subject. Perhaps to those reading who are outside of the Greek system, these sorority secrets seem trivial and dumb, but they actually do mean a lot to those who are in the group. She forgets that just because it doesn't mean anything to her, does not mean it is not meaningful.

Overall, however, I enjoyed this book greatly. It is an easy read - I finished it in a couple hours. I think if you are Greek or even a GDI (I was a bit of both!), you will enjoy the stories of the four sorority sisters, as well as the statistical and anecdotal information Robbins includes in each chapter.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The sky has indeed fallen....

for Chicken Little.

Kevin "Fetus" Covais has been voted off the island...or the stage...or whatever. However you want to say it, the little dude is out of here. And not a moment too soon...as anyone who reads this blog (or Robin's, really!) knows. I couldn't deal with the blinky eyes and bad attitude a minute longer.

And, yet, why oh why did I get a little weepy when they showed his cheesy "Had a Bad Day" montage???? Geez.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

"Looks like we made it...."

BARRY MANILOW WAS ON AMERICAN IDOL LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He rocks. I love him. You can call me a "Fan-ilow." I don't care. I am. I wholeheartedly admit it.

In other AI news, I effing hate Kellie Pickler with the heat of a thousand suns.

And I still love Elliott...the fact that he said he was not fond of Barry before working with him - you know what, good for him. At least he is honest. I bet 3/4 of that crew either didn't like him, or had never heard a single song by him, but they are too bullshit to admit it. Elliott kicked ass...as did Mandisa, Paris, and Katharine. Didn't care for Taylor's performance at all. And Chris? Well, I love Chris...but I didn't even recognize his version of "Walk the Line." Maybe I wasnt' supposed to. I don't know...but I didn't get it.

Bucky, Kevin, and Kellie have got to go. After that, we will have a damn good competition.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Sins of the Father

My boss and I have a bizarre relationship. Although he is brilliant and I want to be like him when I grow up, he is rather sheltered and naive about things in general. (Seriously the most naive 49 year old man I have ever met). Especially things of an unseemly nature. Which cracks me up. So I have made it my goal to "dirty" him up a bit...basically, I like to fuck with his head. He says I am "disconcerting" in that way.

Today, during one of our many random back and forths via email, I received a lesson on mortal sins....it went something like this:

Me: (regarding the concept of purgatory - don't ask) I never really understood that concept...I thought that was for dead babies. Not the same?

Him: (completely shocked by my ignorance) No. People who have not been baptized, die having committed mortal sins who have not been to confession, or otherwise are not quite worthy of Heaven go to Purgatory. That is, for those who don’t qualify to go to Hell immediately. While in Purgatory, others pray for your salvation.

Me: (regarding above-mentioned mind fuck) So which of those three do you think I am going for?

Him: (with remarkable candor) Well I have been baptized so that one is out of the picture. The mortal sin thing has me worried however!!!! As far as being unworthy for Heaven, well that is already up in the air!

Me: (about to wet my imitation leather chair) LMAO! I can see why you did so well on your LSATs...you are quite good at the process of elimination. What exactly are "mortal sins," really????? I mean, is it THAT black and white...I am much of more of a "gray" kind of gal.

Him: (again putting on his CCD/RE hat) Mortal sins include: Murder, Rape, Adultery, Abortion, etc. Serious stuff!

Me: (incredulous) Okay...yeah. That's the plan...to get you to have an abortion. Damn, you found me out.

He later admitted that he threw the whole "abortion" thing in there to piss me off as we tend to disagree on social/political issues (abortion, homosexuality, etc.).

Although it was a truly enjoyable and informative exchange, I am still trying to figure out to whom to bill my time! I think I will categorize it as "associate development"!!!!!!!

**This post is dedicated to my boss - as I described him to my BFF - the ultimate leprechaun...Boston Irish Catholic ND grad, B.S. and J.D.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

New favorite CD that I have opened...*

Jamie Cullum "Catching Tales" - completely dig it. Jazzy, funky, genre-less. Perfect.

*I bought James Blunt's CD...but I have a weird packaging rage thing going....so I haven't actually opened the CD yet. I am sure that once I get through the reams of cellophane and sticky tabby things, I will love it too....but I just can't deal with that process right now.

In the words of Jim Gaffigan...

Hot pocket.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Counting my blessings....

So, to go along with Amanda's thoughts about things that make you feel better after a stressful day, I give you a couple small victories that occurred during a week of complete shit...

(1) I made a BFF laugh out loud while she read the list I prepared for her of all the reasons she rocked (a small sample: awesome trial lawyer - for being a plaintiff's attorney, of course, also she knew the word "roadhead" and she laughs every time I say "foghat"...yeah, long story) - yay!

(2) I had only a minor squabble with a big city civil rights plaintiff's attorney yesterday during our preliminary pre-trial conference...and I won - yay yay!

(3) Quincy didn't shit his crate yesterday - yay yay yay!

Yep - it's been that bad of a week that I rejoice when my puppy doesn't poop the crate. Good times. Things can only get better, right?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Why, America??????

Why did you vote cutie Will and crazy-Jesus freak Gedeon off in favor of Bucky "Smashed potatoes" Covington and Fetus Covais? Seriously. I mean, Will wasn't great, but he was super cute and I think he could have gotten better....and Gedeon- well, the dude is old school Sam Cooke and I really dug it. I mean, I hated it whenever he said "God Bless" all freaky-robot-Heaven's Gate-like...but still...he is really talented...and his dad just died. :(

Now the girls? I am good with that. I wasn't all sold on Kinnik - I think she was okay, but boy, were her song choices bad. And Ayla, yeah - she wasn't working for me either....and I don't really care about Melissa, other than I really think she has got the trashy thing going for her. I am all about Mandisa...and looking forward to another song by Lisa Tucker - b/c as they say on Television without Pity "I am smellin' what the Tuck is cookin'." She is excellent.

My faves - number 1 - Elliott (love him, love him, love him), number 2 - Mandisa, number 3- Chris, number 4-Taylor, number 5 - Lisa...after that, I don't really give a shit.

And Ace...what's that whole myth about handkerchiefs in your back pocket? Yeah, I 'm just sayin'. Can't deal.

More thoughts on AI - check out Heidi's thoughts on Elliott, Taylor, and the fetus.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

"You know it's hard out here for a pimp..."

I watched "Hustle and Flow" last night. In doing so, I learned two important lessons about myself:

(1) I totally love Terrence Howard. Totally.

(2) I am really, really white.

There you go.

Monday, March 06, 2006

For Mandolin

"Love. Love. You know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers."

-- Kevin Dolenz, St. Elmo's Fire

Friday, March 03, 2006

Two words...*

Chris effing Daughtry.

Okay, so that's three words. So what? That dude is on FIRE.

(Of course, I still love Elliott, too!)

And seriously....Fetus Covais needs to go. I am soooo over him.

*If you don't watch AI, you might want to move along.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Fun findings while completing a discovery request...

While doing document review for one of our clients, one of the largest pet containment manufacturers and distributors in the country, I came across the following fun statistics:

93% of US pet owners are likely to risk their lives for the lives of their pets.
83% of US pet owners refer to themselves in relation to their pet as Mom or Dad.
45% of US pet owners feel their pet listens to them better than their spouse.
20% of US pet owners include their pets in their wills.
28% of dog owners own toothbrushes for their dogs.
78% of US pet owners talk to their pets in a different voice from their normal voice
62% of US pet owners celebrate pet birthdays.
52% of US pet owners remember their neighbor’s pet’s name, but not their neighbor’s name.
90% of US pet owners would not date someone who didn’t like their pets.
63% of US pet owners spend more than 2 hours of quality time with their pets every day.
At least 63% of dog owners admit to kissing their dogs.

Except for the one about the will (only b/c I haven't done one yet!), all of these are pretty accurate as to my relationship with my "kids," Bela & Quincy.