Thursday, April 13, 2006

Killer Queen

And then there were seven.

I have to agree with the other recaps I have read that said that this week's show was quite entertaining. It really was. Maybe it is because I like Queen and, thus, knew all the songs, or maybe it was b/c the makeup artists all had their application knobs turned to "Tammy Faye." I am not sure which. Either way, it was quite enjoyable.

If you hadn't heard, this week was the end of the road for the Buck-ster. And was about time. He was Season 6's Scott Savol...he hung on a little too long. I am curious, however, whether he ACTUALLY had the lowest votes, or if the producers of the show thought this was the best way to get him off the show so he could face criminal charges in his home state for some bizarre twin identity switch thing. I don't know. The whole thing sounds very Sweet Valley High to me...Jessica and Elizabeth were always switching places and causing madcap hijinks. Same thing here...only it was less Bruce Patman and his rich, bullying ways, and more hit and run, resisting a public officer, giving fictitious information to a public officer, driving with a suspended license and leaving the scene of an accident. That's all.

But I again digress....It is so easy to do with this show. On with my random musings.

Buckarino started the show with "Fat Bottomed Girls." It was allllllright, I guess. Nothing special. A little bit of microphone hot potato, some rickety legs, and Queen gone country. Gosh, no wonder he went home. It certainly wasn't memorable. That's all I have for poor Bucky.

Ace Young was next with a song that I never thought I would hear on AI: "We Will Rock You." Wha?!? Are you kidding? This is the most un-Ace song imaginable. Its' all about sweaty hotties on a basketball court, not pretty boys faking English accents and adding bizarre melodic lines. The best part of Ace's portion of the show was his interaction with the remaining members of Queen. In particular, when Ace made some suggestions to the guys in the band about how to make the song more "him," one of the band members basically said that he couldn't bastardize a song that he wrote. Hee. Good for him. Anyway, the performance was just awful...he really should have gone home....again.

Here it is. The moment Robin was waiting for...."Bohemian Rhapsody" sung by....Kellie Pickler. Yep, you read it correctly. The girl who can't pronounce "calamari" or "salmon" was going to attempt a song with lyrics like "I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me. Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico!" Huh?

Actually, she didn't. She picked 90 seconds of the song that rocked out with some pretty easy lyrics. And it was okay, actually. Her hair and makeup as well as the lighting were taken straight from the video for the song and her outfit was very S&M, but that's cool, because the whole thing was kind of strange. She got through the song and I was pretty content with the whole thing..... and then she opened up her effing mouth. Simon said, "this looked bad on paper" - meaning the idea of Kellie Pickler attempting this song seemed a bad idea...and she said, "Huh? On paper??" She didn't get the phrase.

*cricket, cricket*

Whatever. I am over her and her idiocy.

Taylor was back to his spastic, Tourette's-iness with "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," which was great to listen to but absolutely wretched to watch. How wretched, you ask? Well, the dude tried to kick over a mic stand.....and missed. Like twice. I think he finally got it on the third try, but fuck, dude. You might want to rehearse that shit or something....or get a wider mic stand. Seriously. But he's safe. It was good...but he was drunk. I agree with Simon on that one.

Chris decided to be the "rebel" (riiiiiight) and picked "Innuendo," a relatively new song for Queen that they never performed live. And damn, if there wasn't a good reason for it. The song had about 2 notes and both of them weren't pretty. It just didn't work for me, Dawg. But.....he's still hot. He had an awful lot of eye makeup on, though - it was very Billie Joe Armstrong....still hot.

Katharine picked one of my ALL-TIME favorite Queen songs to perform: "Who Wants to Live Forever," from the soundtrack for the movie "Highlander." *sigh* It was freshman year in high school all over again for me...watching Highlander with my boyfriend...hated the movie, loved the boyfriend. Anyway, she freakin' killed. It was so good....a little off-pitch in some parts, but it is a tough song, and Freddie Mercury was a vocal overall, she did an amazing job. And she looked gorgeous. I love her. (My mom doesn't - she thinks there is something "off" about Kat, but can't put her finger on it....can anyone help her out?)

Paris once again put on some freaky-deaky black outfit and sang "The Show Must Go On," a song written while Freddie Mercury was dying of AIDS. It is a very adult song...a very mature and emotional song...and I don't think that Paris and her fingerless gloves really got that. It was, as Simon said (hee.), "weird." Quite. I am ready for the show to go on, without RudyParis.

Once again, saving the best for last...Elliott Yamin sang "Somebody to Love," an absolutely great Queen song...and a really freakin' hard song to sing. And the dude pulled it off. I agreed with Randy when he said he was looking forward to Elliott's song b/c he has a similar sound as Freddie - the full vibrato and bright tone...and agreed further when Randy said how great he was. Because he rocked. Here's my question, though. Why does Kellie get crazy lighting and fun makeup and why does Chris get rocker lighting and fun(?) makeup and why does Taylor get crazy....well, he's just crazy, so never mind that one........and Elliott looks like he is performing in his high school auditorium? I don't get it. No lights, no real staging, certainly no "costuming." Very odd. I think it might be sabotage. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday night - they stretched a 10 minute show into an hour and it was truly painful to watch. Lots of jazz hands, lots of tears, and an eloquently described "community snot rag."" (Thank you again, Ms. Pickler, for your brilliant use of the Queen's English...stupid whore.) Bottom three: Ace (absolutely), Bucky (hell yeah), and Elliott (WHAT THE F*CK!). Ryan had each of them sing right after being told they were in the bottom three....that is just hateful, AI producers, HATEFUL, I SAY. And once again, Elliott blew everyone away.

Without much fanfare, Bucky was told he "had a bad day," and that this was the end of the road. Good riddance, I say. On to Rod effing Stewart week.

Kill me now.

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