Don't Be Cruel

So this week's AI was a shocker, a shocker* indeed.

The hottie has left the building.

Chris and his really awful sunglasses and sexy bald head....gone.

This week was Elvis week....and Tommy Mottola week. Huh? Beyond the fact that Mottola came off as a complete tool, the show was quite entertaining. Elvis certainly had a great book of songs - catchy melodies and great lyrics. Here's a quick breakdown:

Taylor started us off with a twitchy, Vegas lounge act version of "Jailhouse Rock." It was typical Taylor. I didn't love or hate it. His second song, "In the Ghetto," though completely politically incorrect, was really lovely. I had never heard the song before and really enjoyed it. I have always said that, when Taylor just stands still and sings, he is an amazing vocalist. He truly feels the music and has a great sense of the emotion behind the words. Loved it.

And of course, Taylor is safe - the guy has never been in the bottom group. The Soul Patrol (Woo!) is in full force.

Chris (sniff, sniff) chose "Suspicious Minds" as his first chart of the evening. Beyond the really awful sunglasses, this was a great performance. Seriously, once again, his stylist needs to be punched in the neck. As for the music, I just love this song and Chris really did it justice. His second choice, "A Little Less Conversation," was panned by Simon for being boring until the end, with redundant, low notes. Well, damn, Simon, I know you are British and all, but, dude, that is exactly how the song is written. Had he never heard the song? I thought it was really well done and loved the energy that he put into his performance.

I am shocked and saddened that he was voted off. (Apparently so was he, and Kat..and the rest of America)

Katharine...Kat, Kat, Kat. What the hell happened to you this week? A case of the nerves? I was truly disappoined. But, honestly, I think she went in at a huge disadvantage being the only girl during Elvis week. Her first song, which I wasn't sure whether was "Hound Dog" or "All Shook Up," or a medley of both, was a mess. She danced around like a mental patient and forgot the words and worst of all, was wearing the most awful grey shirt I have ever seen. Seriously. Hated it. Her second song, "Can't Help Falling in Love with You," started out nice....soft, delicate, sensitive....then got completely away from her. I agreed wholeheartedly with Simon's apple pie/whipped cream analogy...it was just too much...too many notes, too much volume...and once again a completely unattractive outfit. She really needs to just sing the song....without all of the added bullshit on top (i.e. floor writhing, bad dancing, panty showing....okay, leave the panty showing....but everything else needs to go.).

Although in the bottom two - Amazingly - she is safe for another week. Grrr, America, grrrrrr.

Finally......my boy, Elliott. Elliott rocked this week with two great performances. The first was entitled something with the word "Dream" in it ("I Have a Dream"? "Dream Weaver"? "Dream a Little Dream"? F*ck. I can't remember.) Anyway - it was awesome. I got weepy. Yes, I am retarded. I just love him and his underdog-ness. Plus, vocally? Come on, there is nothing better. And he really has gotten cuter. His stylist, unlike Chris' and Katherine's, needs a freaking raise. His second song, "Trouble," was just excellent. He showed some attitude and personality and it rocked.

Elliott - top two with Taylor!!!!!!! Woo hoo...."Come on ride the E-train, and ride it!"

I am truly psyched for next week...I haven't heard what they will be singing next week...but each will get three songs. So stay tuned, dear AI fans, for some great stuff Tuesday night!

Kelly P. OUT.
*Shocker - Kel...that one was for you.