Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Dangerous Liaisons Lite

So last night I watched Valmont on Encore. Why would I watch such a movie? Well, because my other husband, Colin Firth, plays the title role. But here's the problem...it is a completely crap movie. I mean it is BAD. And the sad part about how bad it is (ooh, that was very Dr. Seuss of me), is that there are some decent actors in it...okay, Annette Bening is in it. She is wonderful. But the creepy pedophile principal from Ferris Bueller, Meg Tilly (sister of Jennifer, former wife of my dear Mr. Firth), and Mr. Firth are just plain wretched. Actually, Colin isn't too bad. He is quite believable as the filthy cad, Valmont, but his long wig is so distracting that I couldn't even focus on his acting! I mean, it looked like a dead animal was super glued to his lovely head.

Sadly, this movie came out at exactly the same time as another movie based on the same story - Dangerous Liaisons. And it just couldn't hold its own against the brilliant work of John Malkovich and Michelle Pfeiffer. Now that was a great movie!

And I won't even try to compare the poorly-made Valmont with the truly entertaining updated version that came out a couple years later, Cruel Intentions, with Ryan Philippe, Reese Witherspoon, and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Let's just say...the movie is bad. And no amount of Colin Firth could save it.


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