Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

I am currently recovering from the most painful work-related injury ever.

No, not an effing paper cut.

I was eating a miniature Twix bar while talking to some colleagues on my way to the elevator to go to lunch (Yes, I eat candy BEFORE lunch. Don't judge me.). And the Twix "went down the wrong pipe" and I began choking. Well, kind of like Coke when it goes up and out your nose - the Twix traveled up in the same direction. Yep. I had freakin' Twix in my sinus cavity.

Damn you - you yummy cookie treat. Seriously the most painful thing ever.

I will never walk, talk, and eat mini Twix bars at the same time ever again.

Now the full size pack? Well, that is another story.

"The 'Ho' Bag"**

Spent the holiday weekend at my parents' house in Central Illinois (or Illitucky as my friend J calls it!)...all in all, it was an excellent time. Of course, 2 minutes into the family Christmas party (aka The Country Christmas Jamboree), my brother was being set up with my aunt's friend's daughter and I was being grilled on the life of a lawyer. But that is typical of my family, God love 'em. We ate a ton of food, sang Christmas carols, and did our gift exchange. This could be the first year where both Mr. P and I got kick ass Christmas gifts in the exchange. Mr. P got a basket full of beer and The 40 Year Old Virgin on DVD (if you haven't seen it - go out NOW and rent it - hilarious!) and I received a beautful beaded purse.

I, of course, drank too much wine slush and ended up with a serious headache the next morning, but that is okay. There's no headache that a breakfast casserole can't fix. The fam opened their gifts and let me just say that my mom ROCKS! She gave me the yummy Philosophy Gingerbread Man set from Sephora, and a cashmere sweater, and a black pashmina, and Sideways on DVD and some books and all sorts of other stuff. Yep, she's the coolest.

Another bright spot in my weekend was getting to see my best friend from HS, Sarah. She was the maid of honor in my wedding. The great thing about S and I is that, we can go for months and months w/o talking and yet, when we get together - it is like no time passed, and we are still performing in the Decatur Young Park Singers and flirting with Millikin guys and eating chicken fingers at Perkins at midnight. It is a truly great feeling. And what is even better is that she is back in town after living on the east coast doing a nannying gig...and that her new job is going to bring her to my town every couple of months! YAY!!!!

Overall - excellent weekend...wish I could have spent a little more time with my mom, but, now that she is retired, I am sure we will be able to find more time to be together!

I hope everyone else had a great holiday weekend :)

**At our gift exchange, one of the gifts was wrapped in an extremely large bag that said "Ho Ho Ho" all over it...my very classy husband (along with my very classy uncles) began calling it the "Ho Bag" - as in "Hey, Holly- pick the Ho bag...." Nice.

The Bela-monster

Thanks to all who left their thoughts and prayers - both here on the blog and over email. They were much appreciated.

As for Bela, I think she is going to be okay. She wanders around the house every once in awhile hoping to find Lucy so she can lick Lucy's face and make her crazy. When she gets let out, Bela always looks back to see if her old friend is coming outside after her. But she is eating well and sleeping well and has not destroyed any furniture. These were our main concerns. I have, of course, spoiled her completely rotten (even more rotten than before, if that is possible). She received a new toy and new bones to chew. It is certainly Christmas for Bela.

Of course, I feel terribly guilty b/c she is going to the kennel for the next three days while we are out of town, but that cannot be avoided.

Boy, does the doggy mom guilt ever end???!!!

We'll miss you, my dear friend.

As some of you readers may know, I am a dog lover. Mr. P & I are the proud owners of two wonderful and sweet pooches: a black Lab named Bela, age 4, and our "old woman," Lucy, a 14 year old Brittany spaniel that we inherited from some friends the year after we married. Well, sadly, after much discussion and many tears, yesterday, Mr. P. took Lucy to the vet where we had her put to sleep. I know this is such a sad thing to discuss, but this is my blog and I need to write about it, if only just to get it out. Lucy was really struggling mentally. Both the vet and we believe that Lucy had "doggy dementia" - she did not wish to be petted anymore, nor did she want to be around anyone, including Bela. She would pace the house for hours on end - at lease 60 to 70 times at a time. She would cry constantly, as if in pain. Finally, toward the end, she was becoming incontinent. We believed that, although extremely painful for all involved, that she didn't deserve to live in such a condition. So, luckily, Mr. P, being the wonderful husband that he is, took her to the vet. He said it was the hardest thing that he has ever had to do in his life. I can believe that.

The worst part about it was that, when I got home last night, Lucy's stocking, with her name in gold glitter, was still hanging on the mantle next to Bela's. It completely broke my heart. It is all I can right now not to break down and cry.

I love you, Lucy. You were the kindest, sweetest, smartest girl. We will all miss you.

But, I think Bela will, most of all.

This week...

ResearchDiscoveryMemo-AMAZON.COM-ResearchInitialDisclosuresPreliminaryPre-TrialConference - SEPHORA.COM-DiscoveryResponsesResearch-BESTBUY.COM-12(b)(6)MotionResearchDiscovery - AMAZON.COM...

(repeat)

It is the week before Christmas. Can you tell I am having a hard time concentrating?

On a great note, I got the greatest gift from my assistant - the most beautiful coffee mug from Starbucks (she makes fun of my bulky green travel mug), freshly ground "Christmas Blend" Starbucks coffee, chocolates, and the Starbucks cocoa trio. Yep - she loves me.

Goodbye, Leo McGarry.**

I am so very sad. John Spencer was truly one of the great character actors of our time.

This is a great loss, both to "The West Wing" and to television itself.

**Source: Kel & Robin

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Okay, so last night I got this movie on On-Demand, thinking it would be a fun light movie to watch while I was by myself. (Mr. P. had to supervise a basketball game). Yeah, well, a freaking box of Kleenex later, I realized I was wrong. I wholeheartedly admit that I really liked the movie....I love Bradley Whitford and Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel (even though her acting sometimes leave something to be desired) and I love that chick from "Real Women Have Curves," but damn. I boo-hooed through the whole thing. There is some self-esteem drama, some daddy issues, a dead kid...and those freakin' pants....I want a pair of those pants.

So - if you need a good cry - go with "The Sisterhood..."

Shout out to my mom!

Yesterday, my mom retired from her job at Illinois Power Company. She had worked there for over 30 years. Although she is a bit sad, I think she is really looking forward to this next part of her life....more time for reading, crafting, and making of lists of things for my poor dad to do when he gets home from work!

CONGRATS, MOMMY!

"House-isms" (or "Why I freaking love this show!")

In honor of Hugh Laurie's Golden Globe nom, I give you some of my favorite quotes from the last couple episodes of House:

Foreman: “She a regular at Off Track Betting. Somehow I don't see her holding down a nine-to-five and going to PTA meetings.”
House: “I was there and I have a nine-to...-three job.”
- Deception

House: “What else turns you on? Drugs? Casual sex? Rough sex? Casual rough sex? I'm a doctor, I need to know.”
- Deception

Stacy: “Where’s Chase?”
House: “He’s too busy to service you until after work. I’ve got a few minutes, though. Feel free to say something like, ‘What’ll we do with the time left over?’”
- The Mistake

House: “You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a… I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor.”
- Spin

House: “You ever notice all of the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa…....I can’t think of any others, they all die alone. Men, on the other hand, get so much 'tang it’s crazy.”
- TB Or Not TB

House: “Union rules. I can’t check out this guy’s seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.”
- Autopsy

You decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man's overbite...

Saturday night was our firm's "holiday gathering" held at one of the local country clubs. It almost was not to be because the bank was prepared to foreclose on the place, but some members (some very wealthy members) stepped in and paid off the note. So luckily, when Mr. P and I arrived, the doors were not locked. This was a definite plus!

We sat with a great group of attorneys and their spouses at dinner, including my "mentor" who is, in a word, HI-larious. There was an open bar, and much of the group was getting pretty schnockered. I got my scherve on on the dance floor...and I had only consumed a few glasses of wine. The DJ played everything from "Jailhouse Rock" to "Baby Got Back"...and I jitterbugged with one of the senior partners, who Mr. P. dubbed "Daddy Warbucks" because of his sharp tux and bald head! The best part was watching the head of the litigation section - and the person I would consider my boss - dancing to "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. Fabulous. Completely priceless.

No one put a lampshade on their head or photocopied their ass, but, needless to say, everyone had a really good time!

He's making a list and checkin' it twice...

From: http://friday.criminalgrace.com/


Checking it Twice
1. Did you make a wish list for Santa when you were a kid? Do you still make a list?

Of course I made a list...what kid didn't? I also circled things in the Sears catalog. I still am required by my mother to make a Christmas list...both for me and for my husband who refuses to tell her what he would want b/c, in his words, "I don't need anything!" But that does not matter to my mom who loves buying gifts and wants to make sure everyone gets exactly what they want! My brother and I have taken to making "Wish Lists" on amazon.com. That makes all involved quite happy -my mom doesn't have to go out and fight traffic and snow to shop, and Kyle and I end up with the books and DVDs that we want!

2. What would you most like to find under the tree this year?

Gosh, I don't really know. Books, probably - there are a bunch of great new books out by some of my favorite authors - David Baldacci, David Rakoff, and, yes, James Patterson. I just love that Alex Cross...and it helps that, in my mind, that character IS Morgan Freeman :) Plus, I really want Seasons 1 & 2 of Quincy M.E. on DVD. I love old people solving murders!

3. What is the best present you've ever received? Why?

My husband got me a great Coach purse a couple years ago that I absolutely love. I don't think that is the BEST present, but it was awfully nice. Let's see....if we aren't talking about Christmas, the best present I have ever received was for law school graduation. My mom gave me her ring - this lovely silver and diamond ring. It was the first piece of jewelry she ever bought for herself. She saved up for it with the money she earned in her first job out of high school. I loved the ring and when I was a kid, I used to try it on all the time, thinking I was the most glamorous person in the world. She gave it to me and wrote me the most moving letter to go with it. It truly was the best present I have ever received.

4. What is the worst present you've ever received? Why?

Worst present...worst present. It would probably have to be something that I ended up with during last year's family gift game. We don't have a name for it - but I saw on The Office this week that some people call it "Yankee Swap" or "White Elephant." I somehow ended up with the most awful pillow I have ever seen. It was just some random throw pillow that looked like someone grabbed it off their couch and threw it in a gift bag on their way out the door. It was bad. Second only to the pillow was a gift I got from my husband for Valentine's Day one year - early in our relationship. It is a long story, but it ends up with me opening a Marsh bag to find hair clips and rice cakes. Needless to say, we still reminisce on that gif-giving debacle.

5. Describe your own holiday gift-giving strategy. Do you use a wish list?

I make lists. I love lists - I am like my mother in that way. I spend a lot of time thinkging about what people have mentioned to me over the year - what they are interested in, what things they like...and then I go from there. I love picking out gifts. It is my favorite thing in the world. For some that is not a problem...for others, who already have everything in the world - it is quite difficult. For my BFF Amanda, gift giving is easy (the girl loves anything pink and sparkly and lipsticky and Oprah)...for my dad, not so much. This year I employed my brother's Amazon wish list and used my mom as a spy to figure out what to get for my dad.

Of course, I haven't figured out what to get Mr. P. Maybe a hair clip and some rice cakes.

MST3K Brilliance...

"I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of ass..."

--Crow

Amen.

Weekend Potpourri for $200, Alex.

Just a couple thoughts on the weekend:

- Went with glasses. But very hip, lightweight, almost nonexistent rimless glasses. I dig 'em...and I don't have to worry about cleaning and ripping and being stuck with the wrectched SJR red rims of my youth.

- Did some Christmas shopping on Saturday with the lone female partner here at the firm...and the only female attorney here whose company I enjoy...was a good time. Cracker Barrel breakfast, followed by outlet mall shopping, followed by regular mall shopping...which then required a beer or two at the Friday's located in the mall!!!! I then went on by myself to the mall on my side of town, to find a freakin' dress for our firm Christmas party. I went to Von Maur and dropped waaaaay too much money on a dress. I now have dress guilt. I may return it. I just think it is wrong that the little sweater thing i bought to go over the dress costs almost the same amount as the dress itself. I may end up wearing the dress I wore to the Law School Prom last year. I don't know. Grrrr. I hate being so indecisive.

- Went to the Dome on Sunday to watch the Colts completely kick the crap out of Steve McNair and the Tennessee Titans. Had a great time...even though one beer cost almost seven bucks. Something is seriously wrong with that!

- Finally got all our Christmas decorations up, as well as our tree. We went with the 9 foot, prelit, "slim" artificial tree. Love it, absolutely love it. My house looks quite festive. OH - and we added a bunch more pretty lights outside...still won't win the big prize of $25.00, but pretty all the same.

All in all, a nice weekend...

The little lights aren't twinkling, Clark...

So Mr. P and I decided we would put up Christmas lights up outside this year. He adamantly refused to put any up on the house as he is completely afraid of heights; however, he agreed to lights on bushes and on the porch columns.

It was our first such experience.........................and our last. The whole experience sucked. It rained (yeah, that's safe) and some of the lights didn't work. So we now have one lit bush and two lit porch columns....and that's it.

This would be okay, if I didn't live in a neighborhood full of Clark Griswold-wannabes. Our neighborhood association even has a decorating competition! And we have got some folks that REALLY want to win the 25 bucks. Lights of every color and blow up snowmen and santas. One house even has this whole tropical thing going with a palm tree, dolphin and Santa being pulled by a gaggle of pink flamingoes whose skinny pink legs light up. (gaggle? flock? flamingoes? flamingi?)

Whatever. I don't care.

But maybe I will get a nice big pre-lit wreath to hang above the garage....

Check It Out - A New Quote!

From my new favorite comedian, Patton Oswald. Brilliantly funny, with a similar delivery as Dave Attell - but a little brainier and with fewer dick jokes (not that there is anything wrong with a good dick joke, of course).

The quote vaguely reminds me of something my dear carnivore, Chuck, once said...

(paraphrase) "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why then are they made of meat?"

How true.