Wednesday, April 06, 2005

"The Lullaby of Broadway" or why American Idol put me to sleep last night.

*Long post warning - sorry*
Per Chuck's very persistent (and very annoying) requests, I give you Kelly P.'s rundown of last night's American Idol. Last night's theme was "Showtunes," a topic near and dear to my heart (and the aforementioned Chuck's). As someone who has sang 6 out of the 9 songs in either high school or college voice recitals, I can safely say that most of the choices were not safety songs. These songs are tough to sing, even for trained vocalists, and more so for those that have no formal training. So, I give them major credit for taking risks. Also, many of them have never sang B'way before and were out of their element (ahem, Bo) I also have to applaud their effort! Okay, now that I have done away with the niceties....

(This may not be in the right order as they have not posted anything about last night on the Idol website, so I am doing it from memory!)

First up, Scott Savol, singing "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha. Well, he looks nice... No more awful baggy, poorly fitting outfits. This is probably the best he has looked the entire competition. Plus, he is not taking any of it off, as he did two weeks ago - this is always a plus. A tough song - with a very tough range. He pulled it off pretty well, I think, considering he had never done any charts like this before. The last note was phenomenal. But he is definitely near the bottom of my favorites list....the very bottom is yet to come.

Next, Constantine Maroulis singing "My Funny Valentine" from Babes In Arms. Okay, this scared me at first. I love this song. I mean LOVE, and have sang it on numerous occasions...and I was fully prepared for him to just mangle the song. I was pleasantly surprised. Even with all his weird pouts and strange sex-you-up poses, he did an excellent job. Kind of a sexy, breathy rendition - but with tons of power behind the belting notes. Randy made the comment afterwards that he didn't "believe the whole rocker thing" - and neither do I. That is what has bothered me about him for so long - his rocker persona is fake. He is a pop vocalist...or even a B'way vocalist...not a rock star. I can't believe I am saying this but this was one of my favorite performances of the evening.

Carrie Underwood was next - and I was excited to hear her...and then was pretty damn disappointed. She picked a boring song, "Hello, Young Lovers" from The King and I...and then proceeded belt through it. And I KNOW you are supposed to make the song "your own" (thank you, Paula, for that brilliant piece of idiot.)...but damn. Has Carrie ever HEARD The King and I EVER? There is no BELTING in The King and I....period. So...not good. And boring. Did I say boring?

Anwar Robinson was up next with "If Ever I Would Leave You" from Camelot. Umm...yeah, I got nothin'. Unimpressed...not much to say. It was pretty....pretty boring. But he has a lovely smile and but he also has kind of creepy buggy eyes.

And then there was Nikko. Let's just say for the record that I love Nikko. But I really dislike R&B music....maybe it is b/c I am from the St. Louis area that I have to like Nikko. I don't know what it is...I just love him. Anyway, he sang "One Hand, One Heart" from West Side Story...another of my favorite songs to sing. This is the number one request when I sing at weddings. It is a lovely, simple song. But Nikko "made it his own." (Again, thank you drunken idiot.). But not really, because it is the same interpretation that Tevin Campbell did on the CD The Songs of West Side Story that came out in 1996. Just sayin'. But it was excellent all the same. Again, I love him.

Next, Anthony Federov with "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" from Sound of Music

....zzzzzzz.... (I'm sorry, but all I can do when he sings is stare at the hole in his throat. I know, a terrible thing to say, but true.) ....zzzzz.....

Bo!!!! Okay, now, I also love Bo...but I kind of felt sorry for him last night. If ever there was someone that was at a complete disadvantage b/c of the theme of the evening, it was Bo. Let's be honest, people. If Bo is chosen to be the next "American Idol" - there is no way in hell anyone will ask him to bust out his rendition of "Sunrise, Sunset" or "Let Me Entertain You" - come on. He IS a rock star. But, I have to say, though, that he DID pick the best musical and the best song for his voice and personality. The guy looks like he should be playing in Pippin, the 1970's "rock" musical about Pippin, the son of Charlemagne. And, "Corner of the Sky" is an excellent song......but not for Bo. He just didn't do very well. Poor Bo.

Vonzell sang "People," from Funny Girl - made popular by Barbra. Yep, the Barbra. And I think Vonzell held her own. THAT is a hard song. The range alone makes it extremely difficult for some to sing - and she sang it a pro. Furthermore, she is just so beautiful....I can't say enough. Amazing performance.

And for my least performance of the evening....and my least favorite person on the show....your favorite faux-hawk and mine...Nadia Turner. Nadia sang "As Long As He Needs Me" from Oliver! Umm...the exclamation point is part of the title...not there to show my excitement about her effing up the very first song I ever learned for a voice recital......yeah, I'm not bitter. I dislike her intensely and she has no place on that stage. And she had pitch issues through the whole song. So there.

There you go, people - my opinions on last night's AI.

Kelly P. OUT.

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